According to a study by Johnson and Johnson, there is a strong correlation between high emotional intelligence and high-performing leaders. A similar conclusion was made when a study by Talent Smart showed that “90% of high performers in the workplace possess high EQ, while 80% of low performers have low EQ.” Finally, A study in the SAM Advanced Management Journal showed that EQ is more critical than IQ in determining a leader’s success or failure.
As you can see, study after study proves that emotional intelligence (EQ) is a critical factor in a leader’s success. Before looking into ways that we can take more deliberate steps to improve our EQ, let’s first discuss what it actually is.
Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ) can be defined as “the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately, use emotional information to guide thinking and behavior, and manage and/or adjust emotions to adapt to environments or achieve one’s goal(s).”
So, how emotionally intelligent are you? Psychology Today offers a free online 146-question test to get a feel for where you stand. But no matter where you stand today, there’s always room to get better.
Here are a few ways to develop your leadership EQ.
Manage Your Negative Emotions
So many regrettable things are done in our personal and professional lives when we let negative emotions steer our actions. Pausing or “cooling off” after receiving stressful news is key to managing these negative emotions.
Another way is to be aware of your own emotions and realize when they are coloring your decision-making process. Then either compensate for the negative emotions before deciding something or hold off on a decision until you cool down.
I can’t remember one time in my life when acting out on negative emotions didn’t damage a relationship or situation in some way. The ability to keep a cool head, not “blow up”, and project calm control in the storm of stress is a quality of the most emotionally intelligent leaders.
Learning to manage your negative emotions caused by stress gives you the ability to think more clearly and competently about a problem. It also allows you to set an example for the people you lead on how they should be reacting.
When you become a rock and a lighthouse as a leader instead of a broken rudder for your ship, your team is more effective — and the effectiveness of your team is in direct correlation to the quality of your leadership.
The ability to manage negative emotions to keep them from overwhelming you or creating impulsive decisions is critical to your efforts as a leader. Calm competence in the face of adversity defines an emotionally intelligent leader.
Practice Self Awareness and Social Awareness.
After learning to manage stress and the negative emotions attached to it, you can then learn to “read” yourself and others. Some people are constantly buffeted by the fickle wind of every emotion out there.
An emotionally intelligent leader isn’t steered off course or into the rocks in the winds of emotion, but rather uses emotion to their advantage by adjusting their sails to work with it. The ability to be aware of why you feel like you do as well as to be able to “read the room” via empathy, is so critical.
Pay attention to your emotions. How are they shaping your actions?
Mindfulness can help you practice this self-awareness. Unplugging, taking a breath, and quieting your mind can help you realize what physical and emotional forces are steering your actions. Mindfulness can increase your focus and calm. Mindfulness is like a firebreak for an emotional fire.
You also have to be able to pick up on non-verbal cues from those you are leading. Know “where their head is at” as they say. Only then can you lead it from there to where you want it to be.
Be aware of the emotions you project to your people. Emotions are scientifically proven to be contagious, especially from leaders to followers. This is called emotional contagion. It is defined as ‘the phenomenon of having one person’s emotions and related behaviors directly trigger similar emotions and behaviors in other people.’
Project the emotions you want your people to be “infected” with. Only by being self-aware and socially aware can you learn to conduct the emotions of your team for maximum effectiveness.
Awareness enables you to steer the ship in the direction you need to go with all crew members working in harmony to get there.
Actively Listen
You can’t be attuned to the emotions of others if you are just waiting for your turn to speak. Listening includes listening to “body language”, not just audible communication.
Actively listening conveys respect to the person you are listening to. An emotionally intelligent leader knows that people can inherently sense when someone is present by listening to them closely or not.
An emotionally intelligent leader is humble and confident enough to listen, even if they don’t like everything they are hearing. This humility, confidence, and emotional intelligence enables a leader to know exactly what their team is thinking and feeling.
Often, being a good listener is key to being a good leader.
Welcome Criticism, Even the Non-Constructive Kind
Leaders who lack confidence are immediately put on defense when they receive criticism of their actions or their results. A good leader is confident enough to be humble which opens them up to learning and improving from any criticism.
Receiving criticism is difficult, especially when packaged in an impersonal way. But the best leaders know to accept all criticism, evaluate it without the heat of emotion tainting it, and take what you can from it.
When a follower un-diplomatically gives you a solid piece of criticism, instead of attacking the messenger or the package, embrace it as a possible learning opportunity. Even thank them for their input.
Sometimes you get criticism you can’t use, but rarely.
Of course, you don’t have to accept rudeness and disrespect, but even if it’s packaged in a less-than-optimum way, you can probably find a jewel in that gravel. Being emotionally intelligent allows you to accept criticism from self or others — then improve from it.
The best leaders are always improving and only by admitting mistakes can a leader grow.
Help Others Shine
Powerful contentment can be found in giving credit to others for success, even if you were heavily involved in it. It’s an action that can immediately grant you an understanding of someone else’s emotions.
Rarely is it a feather in your hat to say “look what I did!” but it is always a feather in your hat to say “look what they did!” Giving credit to people for success and taking responsibility for your team’s failures is a common quality of emotionally intelligent leaders.
When you push others towards the top, you can’t help but move upwards with them. This quality of letting others shine is a sign of competent humility, and competent humility is the mark of the most effective leaders.
Conclusion
Oftentimes, leadership is more about EQ than IQ. You can be average in many disciplines yet still be a razor-sharp leader with the right tools at your disposal.
It’s all about people. About you. About those you lead. And about how you and they feel about you. It’s all about conducting emotions like a symphony.
To recap:
- Manage your negative emotions and don’t let them color your decisions.
- Practice self-awareness and social awareness so you aren’t the oblivious fool who is clueless about how the room is feeling.
- Actively listen to both verbal and non-verbal language so you can get a better sense of the emotions of those you lead.
- Welcome criticism and get past the defensive reaction to it.
- Let others shine and feel how good it feels for all of you.