There’s no need to get your feathers all ruffled when it comes to disagreements.
The world of work is full of people who disagree with you. It’s inevitable, and it can be frustrating.
But it doesn’t have to be that way! The skill is to agree rather than disagree while maintaining a good rapport.
Even though you disagree.
And this can sometimes be done in your head.
1. Think about your own emotions.
If someone disagrees with you, ask yourself why you feel anxious or angry when they do so.
Is it because Jean in the accounting department is wrong?
Or maybe they’re right? Or maybe there’s something else going on in your life that’s making you feel this way?
Then, once you’ve identified the source of the emotion, try to figure out how to work through it.
2. Consider the other person’s point of view.
Ask yourself: “What would I think if someone disagreed with me?”
Then, imagine their reasoning, even if you don’t agree with them (yet). Can you understand where your colleague is coming from?
Do they want what’s best for everyone involved?
Recognizing these things may make it easier for both parties involved in an argument or disagreement to find common ground.
3. Communicate clearly.
What’s really bothering you?
Do this without attacking anyone personally or being accusative toward them directly; instead, focus on explaining how their behavior makes things more challenging for you to understand.
Warning: You Need Rapport
4. Make sure the other person knows you’re still on their side.
Even if they’re not on yours. Simply making eye contact, smiling, saying something like “I can see where you’re coming from,” etc.
5. Try using “and” instead of “but.”
It sounds counterintuitive, but it gives the other person a chance to agree with your point before explaining why they don’t agree with it.
For example: “I agree with [thing], and here’s why I think [thing].”
6. If all else fails, go ahead and own up to being wrong!
The sooner you do this, the better off everyone will be — including yourself.
Life’s too short, and it will be the turn of something else tomorrow. And someone new.
7. Agree where you can
For example, when someone says, “I think the new iPhone is the best thing ever,” you could say, “I agree that it’s a great phone.”
This is especially important if you’re in sales or trying to close a deal. For example, if you’re at a networking event and someone asks about your favorite movie, a good response would be:
“Great question. Let me think. What’s your favourite movie?”
They ain’t really interested in your answer anyway.
8. Don’t take it personally
When people disagree with you, they’re usually not saying something about YOU!
They’re just expressing their own opinions, which may or may not be based on fact or evidence. When people express themselves this way, they state how they perceive things from their perspective.
Maybe you’ll learn something in the process!
9. Say That Your Great Aunt Died
If someone disagrees with what you’ve said or done and they approach you with an attitude that doesn’t seem open to discussion (e.g., “You just don’t get it!”), then it’s probably best not to try.
If you think they might be violent. Pull out a tissue and say Aunt Dot passed away.
Say give me “a moment”, then leave.
Just make sure she has died at some point, and she would laugh about it.
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