You only get one chance to make a good first impression.
It’s true because a person will judge you and whether they trust you.
Your words matter.
What you say and how you say it can undercut yourself, and you can make a bad impression.
Some specific phrases make you sound weak and leave others with a bad impression of you. You can come across as timid, unsure of yourself, and lack substance.
Some “wishy-washy” phrases show others you lack confidence.
Don’t let specific phrases in your vocabulary that undermine your chances of success with others.
Here are seven common words and phrases that make you sound self-doubting and weak.
1. Just
This word is used in phrases such as “I just wanted to task…” “I’m just saying” or “just in case.” Adding the word just to your thoughts doesn’t help your cause. It causes others not to take your ideas seriously.
This word is easy to eliminate from your vocabulary if you make a conscious effort. If you see that you use it in your speaking or writing, delete it. It adds no value and makes a bad impression. When you curb it from your language, you become more assertive and speak more clearly and concisely.
Remember that being assertive is not being aggressive. You can be polite and direct. When you don’t come across confidently, you waste the other person’s time.
2. Sorry
This word is used when you say something that doesn’t warrant an apology. People are overusing the word, and it is losing its meaning. If you do something wrong or impolite, you should apologize.
However, if you apologize for inconveniencing someone, you don’t need to say “sorry.” For example, people say, “sorry to bother you.” You assume the other person is bothered by you before you even state your request.
Apologizing makes you seem weak and overly sensitive. You also confuse the person you are saying “sorry” to. Instead of saying “sorry,” say “thank you.” Express your gratitude and make the other person feel good instead of irritating them with “sorry.”
3. Literally
This phrase is misused all the time. People may say, “I could literally…” When people say “literally,” they mean “figuratively.” When you say this word, you come across as if you don’t know what you are talking about.
If you say, “I literally ate everything on the menu.” Well, did you eat everything on the menu or not? When you say “literally,” you tell others that you lack confidence. Some people say it is harmless, but it encourages others to doubt your authenticity and thinking.
4. I Think
When you use “I think,” are come across as you are not sure about your opinion. You are inviting others to question what you are saying. To be more confident, don't add “I think” and say what you intend without adding the phrase.
Instead of “I think,” you could say “I believe” because a belief is more substantial than a thought. A belief has conviction, while thinking is just an idea. Everyone has a point of view, but not everyone has beliefs.
5. Um or Like
These filler words clog your sentences while you are thinking about what to say next. Words like “um” and “like” show others that you haven’t mastered the pause in your speaking. When you overuse them, others take notice.
These words show others that you are unsure of what you are saying, and you sound immature. Others will become distracted if you use them too much because they will get hung up on these filler words instead of what you say.
We often speak faster than we need to, so make sure you get in the habit of pausing more between sentences and thoughts. A natural break in a conversation helps others find an opportunity to speak. You become a more desirable person to talk to when you master the power of the pause.
6. Kind of
People use “kind of” as a filler word, and it’s a random addition to sentences. Sometimes people use “kind of” when they don’t mean it at all. You may say, “it’s kind of like that” or that “kind of thing.”
When you add a phrase such as “kind of,” you are not clear with what you are saying. For example, “I kind of played [insert sport] in college.” Did you play a sport in college or not? You don’t come across as someone who enjoyed that sport, or you had a bad experience.
7. Does That Make Sense?
This phrase is often used at the end of a sentence. When you add “does this make sense?” to your vocabulary, it suggests that you don’t have confidence in what you said. You doubt yourself, and you need support from who you are talking to.
If you don’t believe you made sense, you probably didn’t. This phrase shows the other person you don’t know what you are saying. Perhaps you know what you are saying, but saying this phrase shows others that you are weak, uncertain, and doubt yourself.
This phrase is a filler phrase like “you know” or “I really mean.” Instead, say: “how does that sound to you?”
Bringing It All Together
It’s tough to recover from a bad impression. If you use these seven phrases or words, you undercut yourself. “Just,” “sorry,” “literally,” “I think,” “um or like,” “kind of,” and “does that make sense?”
These are phrases that don’t add anything to what you are conveying. The more you notice words or phrases in other people’s vocabulary, the more you’ll see how you speak.
You must be confident in yourself before others can be confident in you.