I recently started working for a remote U.S company in May 2022, hailing itself for its culture of diversity & inclusion. Yet when it comes to the unsolicited sarcasm and jest, it seems to be all over the place.
They have the motto: you ask for help, we deliver.
However, there’s a secret clause there in between. We will help of course even though we’re also two months in the role. We will vouch for helping you in front of the manager because that makes us look good in front of the manager.
It positions us as good samaritans. But we will also throw in some unwanted advice about how you should navigate your mental health as well as to man up while dealing with life’s problems.
We’re also going to talk about how our mental health problems are undiagnosed. And how we read how migraines work on the back of cereal books of Cheerios.
We might pretend to know all the ropes of the role even though we’re clearly in the low 80% of performers. And just suck up to the top performers while kissing their arse through underwhelming jest.
As we don’t have any self-esteem nor do we intend to respect yours.
Why? Because we’re obviously senior employees.
It’s day 2 after the onboarding and things couldn’t have been so much sh*ttier.
In one day, I’ve witnessed three counts of harassment. One is personal, and two are from my colleagues.
Total counts experienced by demographic: 1 Man, 2 Women
Now harassment comes in all shapes and sizes. And most people are too quick to justify what is and isn’t. Especially when it comes to joking with the new hires.
Harmless picking on someone can be seen as okay in front of some people. It’s a normal thing for corporate companies.
Cheer up it’s just a joke.
Man up, you don’t need to be depressed.
Smile more, you’re a girl.
And let’s not forget the god-awful phrase that circles the interwebs in every woman’s DM!
Hey, you're good! What’s up Beautiful!
But wait this has reached into the corporate work slack channels as well. My colleague just experienced this nonsense today. Ever since she shared a post on the company’s public channel for employees.
Floods of men & women have entered her DM… I know it’s a company that values diversity but jeez people. You’ve got to keep your panties in a bunch.
No pun intended.
Just because it’s Pride month, it doesn’t give you the right to send unsolicited DMs to someone. She received a total of 25 DMs, 5 from women, & 20 from men.
Trying to start an unsolicited conversation led to them wanting to be “close” friends. Even though she kindly told them no.
I mean maturity went through the door, right. A company’s private channel obviously needs to be a safe place. No bullsh*t during work.
However, some people don’t care about reading the harassment clause they signed. And HR well they are known to protect the company’s interest while compromising their peoples.
Reporting to a manager in this scenario seems like a good thing.
However, as a man, it wasn’t certainly the case.
See when I took it up with my manager, she said the most hypocritical thing ever. She told me to not report it to HR, and just ignore it.
Now, now before everybody starts hating on my manager. Here are a few things as to why she said what she said.
My manager is relatively new. It’s just her 3rd month. And she obviously doesn’t want to advocate for an Account Executive that’s only on his 2nd day, while beating his assigned KPIs out the door.
Those I did after I experienced the harassment from the jackass. Because well such experiences fuel me to become hyperactive. And I want to show that I can sell.
But not everyone has the same zest to tolerate such garbage. I told my manager I am not mad at him. That’s why during the assistance I didn’t snap at him. Because that would have caused a rift in the team culture.
So I sacrificed my own ego and self-esteem in the process so you don’t have to. However, I also told her explicitly that they might be my coworkers in a team.
They are not my friends. They should be more aware of jesting on things that don’t really concern them. Everybody becomes a therapist all of a sudden when they hear somebody has mental health problems.
Now the irony is that jackass who said those awful things to me. He’s also DMed my colleague as well. What are the chances of that?
So he’s just an all-around, I’m Santa’s little helper; contact me.
The thing that stuck out the most was that my manager told me to not take it up to HR. Lol like they would care. They told my colleague, they will look into the matter…
But understand this for a second. HR isn’t certainly going to do anything.
God forbid if he’s a top performer, and they are paying him at a fraction of the cost. I don’t think my friend won’t have any chance at justice. Because Sales Teams are notorious for keeping the Jackasses around who bring in the dough.
That’s the ugly truth of sales as a whole. The whole we value you, is bullsh*t.
Do you know if I escalated the matter?
What would have been the response?
It would have been the same as what my jackass wannabe therapist said, “Man up!”
Now maybe you might think that’s okay, right. Men have to man up all the time. What about the idiots who throw slurs like these to people without understanding their traumas?
Such men are simply morons that I can’t even fathom. The types of men are so polarized, even as a man I can’t even breathe in this society. I experience the same trash, these toxic men spew toward women.
Oh boy, let’s not talk about the women who enable this behavior. Maybe it’s their mothers or their incompetent fathers. Perhaps both.
But the thing is I’ve always used these experiences to my advantage. I’m glad my friend reported this nonsense.
I went to my manager because that was it. I’m tired of bottling such trauma inside of me due to these experiences. It has done nothing for me.
Just because you’re earning brownie points in front of the manager by creating a culture of “we will help you.”
It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re the right person for the job.
Too much of this ass-kisser is seen as being the helper. When in reality it’s just another way of showing that you’re contributing when you’re actually just enabling toxic behavior.
Too many of my colleagues during the training period were connected with AE’s with this mindset. Sales are typically filled with these douchebags.
Now let’s take a look at how the company responds to this as previously outlined in their employee handbook signature clause.
I understand Great is committed to a work environment free of harassment and discrimination based on Protected Categories, and that Great specifically prohibits retaliation whenever an employee or applicant makes a good-faith complaint that they have been subjected to harassment or discrimination. Accordingly, I specifically agree that to the extent I am the subject of any conduct which I view to constitute harassment, discrimination, or retaliation or which is otherwise in violation of Great’s policy prohibiting discrimination, harassment, and retaliation, I will immediately report such conduct to HR, the CEO, my manager, or another management-level employee with whom I feel comfortable, or Legal.
I understand and agree that to the extent I do not use the grievance procedures outlined herein or in Great’s policy prohibiting discrimination, harassment, and retaliation, Great has the right to presume that I have not been subjected to any harassment, discrimination, or retaliation, and/or that I have welcomed the conduct.
P.S the last agreement of the clause is a typical case of plausible deniability. It serves the organization to downplay, trivialize and form of harassment as they see fit through their own panel by examining the evidence, e.g. let’s say a top performer committing the harassment.
In such a case I hardly doubt their judgment would wing in a harassed person’s favor. So there’s that as well. It’s just a way to legally bind you that it’s your fault that you got harassed. To be fair is just to protect them if you pursue to sue them.
Well, if you get harassed, report it directly, and make it public. If the organization doesn’t provide you with a safe place to work… the organization needs not some but a lot of readjustment.
In the case of a guy, I hardly doubt after Johnny Depp won his case, guys like me who get abused all the time for their disabilities or their trauma will ever get justice.
We’re just told to ignore it. Because even while signing a clause, companies will find a way to justify that we welcomed it.
That’s the silver lining of it all.
And corporate proved it yet again.
You’re responsible for the harassment you experience. Imagine saying this to a woman/man who gets unsolicited opinions all the time, every day for her entire lifetime.
Men receive it as well from other men and women just like the jackass I was assigned for the buddy program. And my manager was too afraid to lose her new job because voicing for a man would have been not the right thing to do.
But I get it.
It’s cool.
I’ll just man up about it as I always have. Because that’s what I’ve been taught by the patriarchy(that I want to burn to the ground).
So there you have it, folks.
There’s no justice we three are going to get, working from a third-world country for a remote American Startup costing them a premium to retain us.
Yep, they can fire us anytime for reporting it in bad faith.
It might even put my friend in every employee’s eyes(3000+ in fact). To be fair, there will be women spreading rumors and gossip. Men enabling more toxic notions about her being a bitch or whatever.
The company really doesn’t have a filter policy.
Because revenue matters. I guess the only way I can get them heard is by just crushing my quota, and becoming their top rep. And throwing the resignation at their face.
That I probably will as I did like the last time. 😄
But for the women, who know me as their friend, please do not let your voice be unheard. I can manage it even being a late-stage depression struggling through melancholia & dysthymia every day.
I know I might eventually die from all that absorbed trauma. However, as long as I do not keep it inside. I have hope.
Don’t do what I’m doing and please speak up.
It goes for both men and women.
Using that feeling helped me to reach my KPIs for the day. But writing this down here helped to put a stamp on my experience.
I think I believe I’ve made a difference.
But here’s a question how long will I would ignore such blatant disregard towards myself? And what can happen if their fake-ass behavior tends to piss me off?
I hope that day never comes. Because I’m going to open these people a new one.
The Worst Plan of Action to Never Advise to a Harassed Person
As a word of advice, don’t throw the “you should warn the other person because they will lose their job nonsense.”
If they cared for the role or the environment they wouldn’t be tryna harass their coworkers like a typical corndog on bumble. Or any other platform for that matter.
However, I just gotta say.
What a great place to work at.
#Best Company Global Culture 2022 presented by comparably.
Another reason not to apply to remote American companies in the future.
The great remote work harassment continues…