Before I burnt out I knew I needed a life change.
My career sounded exciting, but my love for it had evaporated. I’d been creating festivals and performances for over 20 years. It had been my childhood dream. But, burnout had stripped my desire to continue my lifelong passion.
My zest for life had disappeared.
The hardest thing about knowing you need to do something else with your life is not knowing what that thing is. I spent 3 years feeling unhappy and lacking any fulfillment. My work days had become an endurance test. Getting out of bed was the most difficult action of the day.
I stopped sleeping.
Two hours of sleep a night is not enough for a person. Sustained over months, it damages your mental and physical health. My anxiety levels went through the roof.
After 8 months of this, I found myself at work, in a meeting, having a panic attack.
This was the first time I burnt out.
Looking back, I wish I’d listened to my body and honored my needs more. Instead, I kept powering through. I thought effort would make it go away. I was wrong.
I couldn’t imagine the impact it would have on me long-term.
I knew I had to find a new career and life. I was 40 years old with different values and needs than when I started my career. I needed something more attuned to who I am now.
I spent several years figuring out what I wanted next. Slowly I learned how to make necessary changes happen. My last burnout was a year ago, just before I quit my job. My life these days is unrecognisable.
I’m the happiest I have been for years.
These are the 5 steps I took. They’ll help any burnt-out person seeking something better. Follow them to design a life or career more aligned to you:
1. Skills and talents
One of the many horrible symptoms of burnout is it strips you of self-esteem and makes you feel like can’t do anything. The truth is you can do loads.
We all have lots of skills.
When you apply your skills and talents you feel useful. You feel more confident, and can make things happen with ease.
Flow states happen.
When you do things that you’re not skilled in, you either enjoy learning something new, or you feel frustrated. Over time, doing something frustrating turns into resentment.
The moral of the story? Know your skills and use them.
Write down all the skills you have.
Identifying your skills and talents can be tough because you likely take them for granted. Consider different skills including creative ones, communicative, organisational, and management skills. Do you have teaching skills? What about financial and people skills? Don’t overlook physical and technical skills. And one of the most important is soft skills.
Mark which ones on your list you enjoy doing.
Which ones do you want to continue to do in the future? Mark these too. Then, add to your list all the new skills you want to learn.
2. Core Values
Getting clear on your values is one of the most useful things you can do to design a life that is best for you.
If your everyday actions are not aligned with your core values, then you are not living with intention. You are living at the whim of someone else. You’re ignoring your own wants and needs.
Working against your values is a key cause of burnout.
Knowing your values comes down to knowing who you are. Ask the question “who am I?” and interrogate your answers. Ask it 10 times and write each answer down.
Then for each answer ask yourself ‘why?’.
Write your first answer down. Ask ‘why’ again. Repeat this until you have asked ‘why’ 5 times. Once you have 5 why’s for each ‘who am I’ statement, interrogate what your ‘why’ answers tell you.
It should look like this:
- Who am I? A team player
- Why? Because I like to collaborate
- Why? Because the collective mind is better than 1 mind
- Why? Because more ideas combined allow for more creativity
- Why? Because more creativity means more innovation
- Why? Because innovation of new things requires creative thinking
From this exercise, I know that creative thinking is important to me. As is collaboration and creating new things. These are some of my core values.
When you have done this ‘why’ exercise for ten ‘who am I’ statements, you should have a solid list of core values. Some may have come up more than once.
Savor this list of values.
Come back to it when you have a decision to make. When a decision, or option is not aligned with your values then it’s best to avoid it.
3. Career Options
Once you have a list of your values, skills, and talents, think about what careers they might fit into. For instance, say you’re good at public speaking, you enjoy it, and you value helping people with their health. What career option could that mean for you? A speaker or teacher about health or the body?
Combine your skills and core values, then brainstorm all your possible career options. Go through each one and consider if it interests you. Could you see yourself doing that particular career in the future?
Cross out anything that does not resonate with you. Highlight the top 5 things that you’d like to do.
4. Give them a try
With your list of top 5 career options, find ways to start trying them out.
You could volunteer. Or shadow someone who does this job. Look for a course to learn about the profession. Who do you know that does that job? Would they be up for a conversation?
Trying out new career options helps you understand if it is something you will enjoy or not.
When you give it a try, how does it make you feel? Do you want to do more of it, or does it deplete your energy? It might prompt you to pursue something else. If it does, does that option align with your skills and values?
Trying out new career and life options opens you up to potential future pathways. You’ll begin to imagine new future scenarios.
Where will those paths lead?
5. Vision
To create a life you love, get clear on how that life looks.
When one of the options you have been trying out becomes a pathway, paint the picture in your mind.
Sit down with a piece of paper and a pen. Draw a picture of your future. What do you look like? How does your life look? What are you doing in your day-to-day? Who is around you? How does it feel?
Put this picture somewhere in plain sight. Make sure you can see it every day. Meditate on it. Use it to remind you of the life you are creating.
Step by step, work towards making that picture happen.
Final Thoughts
Creating something new takes a commitment to your vision.
Take each day at a time. Don’t lose faith.
When you get there, your path might have been different from how you imagined. The destination may have shifted a little over time. But, if you stick to your values, use your skills, and hold on tight to your vision, the life you design will align with your needs.
You will be true to who you are and what you want.
You will be living a new and happier life.