In February 2019, I returned to Houston to drive my mother and grandmother the eight hours to Pine Bluff, Arkansas, for the funeral of my eldest aunt. It was the second time my grandmother, who had twelve children, had to face the loss of a child—a devastating event for any parent. Having endured years of poor health, she hadn’t expected to outlive any of her children. I booked a $259-a-night room with two suites at a Residence Inn in downtown Little Rock, a 40-minute drive away. My grandmother was impressed with the size of the bathtub. We spent time talking about her upbringing in rural north Louisiana, and I learned stories about her life that I had never heard before. She was delighted to share memories from her hardscrabble youth.
We attended the funeral and mourned with family and friends in Pine Bluff, a town that had a reputation for being one of the worst places to live in America. On the way back, we stopped to buy my grandmother a three-meat barbecue combo from one of her favorite local spots, which she finished before we crossed the Texas state line. Afterward, she dozed off, leaving me to drive in the quiet darkness the rest of the way to Houston. When we arrived, she thanked me with an embrace and said, "I’ve never been on vacation before." At first, I was saddened that a modest hotel stay attached to a funeral was the only "vacation" she had ever experienced. However, she appreciated the trip because, at 92, she had no sense of what others typically did on vacations, unlike me, who was part of a group chat with two friends wielding considerable disposable income and well-used passports.
On the Fourth of July, Spencer Hall sent a picture in our chat, showing him holding a massive eagle on his arm, which he captioned with a simple “Morning.” I instantly recognized that he was in Mongolia, a place we'd previously discussed due to its immense, remote, and sparsely populated nature, as well as its rich history and cultural reverence for golden eagles. Hall, who already had extensive travel experience in Asia and was eager to see somewhere new, was enchanted by Mongolia's reputation as an Outdoorsman’s Paradise.
Meanwhile, Bomani Jones, another friend from our chat group, embarked on a two-week trip to Spain a few days later, where he prioritized comfort, staying at five-star accommodations and enjoying leisure time in Barcelona and nearby Andorra.
I couldn’t help but envy as my friends enjoyed their travels, especially since I had planned to join Jones in Spain before unexpected family obligations derailed my plans. My wife and I managed a brief respite, booked a babysitter for our 2-year-old, and spent a night at a beach hotel. While it wasn’t Mongolia or Spain, relaxing in our room and enjoying the view of the Pacific Ocean felt like a luxury.
Our group chat reminded me of how social media can influence travel expectations. Like the allure of Instagram influencers showcasing exotic destinations, my friends' travel stories made me question my modest getaways. Travel writer Tariro Mzezewa explained how the media and tourism boards market luxury vacations, often making affordable trips seem insignificant. At home, dealing with day-to-day realities, it’s easy to forget that social media often omits the less glamorous aspects of travel, as noted by Victoria Walker.
Bomani Jones pointed out the positive aspect of social media, explaining how it can make travel seem more accessible to everyone. Yet, this emphasis on luxury can overshadow the value of more budget-friendly options. According to Mzezewa, it’s better not to compare and simply appreciate the ability to take a trip, no matter the scale.
Reflecting on my late grandmother’s simple delight in our trip, I realized that meaningful travel experiences don’t require far-flung destinations. Growing up, I enjoyed family road trips through Texas and Arkansas, appreciating simple pleasures without knowing where my classmates were vacationing. As travel became more accessible over the years, my friend Brandon LeBlanc started exploring international destinations, yet he maintained a cost-conscious approach.
Ultimately, if one can avoid travel envy, traveling can range from adventures in Mongolia to a humble road trip to Pine Bluff. Just ask my grandmother.