Do you sometimes feel like you're missing out on opportunities or not getting the most out of your relationships? It could be that you need to improve your ability to ask good questions and connect with others.
Jeff Wetzler, the author of "ASK: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life," can help. Wetzler is the co-founder of Transcend, an organization that helps schools create innovative learning environments. He has a doctorate in adult learning and leadership and consults for major corporations.
Wetzler's book outlines five practical steps for asking better questions:
1. Choose Curiosity - Awaken your interest in new discoveries.
2. Make it Safe - Create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing.
3. Post Quality Questions - Ask questions that uncover what's most important.
4. Listen to Learn - Truly hear what someone is trying to tell you.
5. Reflect and Reconnect - Take the right action based on what you've learned.
People often hold back information due to barriers like being too busy, not having the right words, or fearing judgment or retaliation. Wetzler says we need to break out of our "certainty loops" and deliberately cultivate curiosity.
Creating a safe environment is key. Wetzler suggests strategies like flattening hierarchies, acknowledging sensitive topics upfront, and using questions that signal genuine interest in learning, not just influencing.
Quality questions tap into the other person's story and underlying experiences. Wetzler advises starting with simpler question types and building up a repertoire over time.
Listening to learn involves techniques like "tell back and test" to ensure you've understood correctly. Reflecting on what you've heard can lead to revising your perspective, taking action, and challenging your own assumptions.
Wetzler emphasizes that this approach benefits both the asker and the person being asked. Asking good questions is an act of caring that can deepen relationships and lead to unexpected breakthroughs.