If you've ever found yourself crying at work, you're not alone. According to a 2018 survey, 45% of 1,000 American employees reported having done so. Rachel Weaven, a consultant with 20 years of HR experience, notes that perceptions of crying in the workplace can vary greatly. These perceptions are shaped by factors such as your manager's experience, the age group of your colleagues, and the company's overall culture.
Weaven explains that if you're in a company where showing emotion is safe and supported, it can make you stronger. Conversely, in companies where emotional expression is penalized, the experience can be challenging. The 2018 survey revealed that 31% of workers and 30% of 2,200 CFOs believe crying at work should not negatively impact one's professional standing and simply shows humanity. However, 44% of CFOs and 38% of workers felt that while crying occasionally is acceptable, frequent crying could harm career prospects.
The reason behind the tears also matters, according to Weaven. Most people understand tears due to a bereavement, but fewer sympathize with crying over work problems. She noted that crying doesn't have to be negative, as it often stems from employees' passion and desire to perform well. She shared examples of people getting emotional when critiqued because they care deeply about their work.
A 2016 Harvard Business School study involving 240 participants found that workers who attributed their tears to passion for their job were perceived as more competent than those who cried without explanation or cited emotion as the cause.
For those who get emotional at work, Weaven advises taking a break to regroup. She suggests finding a quiet place, like a breakout space or restroom, to calm down, or stepping outside for a few minutes to practice breathing techniques.
The context and company in the office can also influence how crying is perceived. Weaven frequently observed that crying occurs in more private settings, such as a meeting with HR, a manager, or a trusted colleague. She recounted an instance where an employee who was laid off apologized for being unprofessional when she cried, to which Weaven responded that she should not apologize for her emotional response in that situation.
If you find yourself emotional in a large meeting, Weaven advises stepping out if possible. Regardless of the situation, it's often helpful to address emotions with colleagues afterward. For instance, discussing why you were upset with your manager can lead to better understanding and management of your work relationship.