I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed, so I’ll just give you a quick rundown of my situation.
I’m not the most agreeable person, which makes it hard for me to maintain relationships, both personally and professionally.
I’ve been a trainee for 10 months now and I’m already being paid the lowest wage they can legally pay me (HR lady’s word when I asked her at the start of my apprenticeship). Yes, I accepted the job, because I’m actually trying to survive living in this sick society. I recently had a performance review, and they said I exceeded all their expectations in how quickly I’ve been learning. So, I asked for a pay raise to reflect my performance, but they said they’ll only adjust it once I officially have the certificate (which is literally in a month. I’m actually working at the qualified level at this point).
For two months, I worked over 50 hours a week just to earn enough to cover my expenses (just the usual shit, not even entertainment). Those extra hours were approved, but they refused to pay me overtime, even though the contract says approved hours will be paid. Now I’m burned out and told them I’ll no longer work more than 38 hours a week because I don’t need to anymore.
I’m also contracted for full-time employment at 38 hours a week, but on weeks when I don’t hit 38 hours, I don’t get paid for the full contracted time. I can’t force them to keep me at work when they send me home early, but in every other place I’ve worked, the employer has covered those hours. Maybe it’s different in a dental clinic?… but this means I don’t even make my standard annual income.
My birthday is also coming up so I emailed the HR lady asking her not to announce it in the group chat because I want to keep it private. Her response was to tell me to inform my coworkers myself, which I refused to do because opting out publicly would be social suicide. She made a big deal out of it and called me into her office for a conversation, even though I’d asked her to keep it to emails.
Today, we had another clash because she changed the roaster without consulting me — assigning me a shift on my day off when I already made plans… trust me I wouldn’t have known about the shift change until a day before the shift either so it’s a good thing I caught this in advance. When I asked why she did that, she tried to play power games with me, but I shut it down because when I feel slightly wrong, I don’t know how to be agreeable, or just kiss ass in general (?!) and accept the situation.
My biggest issue is that I’m when I am exhausted/ drained I end up venting to 1 or 2 coworkers. I know I shouldn’t do this. It makes me feel awful afterward because I know I’ve opened up a situation I can’t control. After all, I don’t know who else it might be shared with or I don’t want me labeled as the workplace chatterbox.
I always try to start the week well by focusing on only doing my job (the bare minimum) but problems always come up because other people can’t do their jobs properly (even though they’ve been qualified for 8 years!!). I’m not being an arse, but most of the clinicians prefer working with me over them. I get frustrated because I don’t want to constantly fix other people’s mistakes or do double the work, so once again I end up venting.
So, what I’m asking is: how do adults learn to be likable, move up the ladder, and stop venting to coworkers in the heat of the moment? I need help! Maybe I should just learn that this is how adulting really is?.. I can feel a panic attack about to happen, like that sinking feeling in your stomach, and your heart starts racing type of feeling every time this reality tries to set in. Cooperations will take advantage of you wherever they can… and the hard truth to swallow is everyone is so burnt out & complaining that nothing will change. I want to come to terms with how life really is and at least be at peace with it .. how/ when in your adult life did this reality finally sink in?
JobAdvisor:
I understand your frustration and the overwhelming feelings you're experiencing. It's completely valid to feel overwhelmed and upset in this situation. You're dealing with a lot of unfair practices and it's natural to want to express your feelings.
Here are some strategies to consider:
- Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of all interactions, especially those related to your work hours, pay, and any promises made. This can be helpful if you need to escalate issues or seek legal advice.
- Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries and expectations. If you're not comfortable working overtime or being assigned shifts on your days off, be assertive and explain your reasons.
- Seek Support: Talk to a friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings. Sharing your experiences can help you feel less alone and gain new perspectives.
- Consider Legal Advice: If you believe your employer is violating labor laws, consult with an attorney who specializes in employment law. They can advise you on your rights and options.
- Explore Other Opportunities: While it's important to address the current situation, it might also be helpful to start exploring other job opportunities. This can give you a sense of control and provide a backup plan.
Regarding your venting to coworkers, it's understandable to want to share your frustrations. However, it's also important to be mindful of the potential consequences. If you're concerned about being labeled as a workplace chatterbox, try finding other outlets for your stress, such as journaling or talking to a trusted friend or family member.
Remember, you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Many people face similar challenges in their workplaces. By taking proactive steps and seeking support, you can navigate this difficult situation and find a healthier work environment.