Has anyone had a boss stab them in the back during the termination talk? And not even reach out afterwards?

I worked at my company for four years, during which I had a boss who was incredibly supportive. We built a close, respectful relationship—she even told me I was “like one of her kids.” She praised my work, promoted me to head of the team, gave yearly bonuses, and consistently encouraged my growth. I genuinely believed she was invested in my career.

Over the last year, she promoted me, gave positive feedback, and even laid out a path for me to become Director of BD, supporting me in pitching the role to the board. Then, three weeks before I was let go, she scheduled a “development talk” to discuss my future positioning, expansion of my role, and any collaboration or communication improvements. She framed it as a proactive, growth-focused conversation, with HR involved. But days before the talk, she informed me the managing director would be joining instead, and when the day came, the “development talk” abruptly shifted into a termination meeting.

In this meeting, she and the managing director informed me that the company would no longer continue our cooperation and that my contract would be terminated immediately. They claimed it was a “business decision” due to restructuring and said they needed a BD manager with a more data-driven focus. However, I later discovered they had given the role to a much more junior colleague whom I had hired, who was working as a Business Intelligence Analyst. The whole process felt like a deep betrayal, both professionally and personally, especially since I’d built the BD team from scratch and always been promised input on any major changes.

During the termination meeting, my boss’s tone was surprisingly cold and dismissive. She didn’t say one positive thing about my contributions. Instead, she devalued the services I’d developed—services she had once championed. At one point, she even said, “Just because someone says thank you doesn’t mean they’re happy with you,” which felt manipulative, as if she were rewriting my impact to justify the decision. The only acknowledgment was when I mentioned going above and beyond, to which she simply nodded and said, “Yes, I know.” For someone who had been so supportive, this sudden shift felt shocking.

Afterward, I learned that, following the restructuring, they merged BD and Marketing into Corporate Communications and Business Development. She gave the combined role to someone she’d hired just three months earlier as Director of Corporate Communications. This person had no experience in BD, had limited knowledge of the firm, and hadn’t built the relationships I had. It was shocking to see that a role supposedly meant to be “data-driven” was now in the hands of someone far less experienced and junior to me.

It’s now clear that this new Director of Corporate Communications had been involved in the restructuring discussions with my boss and the managing director. Months before my exit, this person told me she was “hearing a lot of voices” about me and that “issues were landing on her desk.” Looking back, it feels like there was a coordinated effort that eventually led to my dismissal.

I was put on gardening leave for four months, and despite our past relationship, she never reached out for a farewell. I had expected some acknowledgment of my work, which she typically did for others, but there was only silence. No handshake, no goodbye.

I'm left questioning what changed so drastically. Was this her way of avoiding accountability? Did she hear something negative about me that shifted her view, or was this just a convenient narrative? I shared all of this in my exit talk with HR, expressing my concerns and feelings. In the end, I feel personally targeted and deeply disappointed by the coldness from someone I trusted.

Has anyone else experienced a once-supportive boss turning cold, distant, and even manipulative during a dismissal? How did you cope?

Jobadvisor:

I hear how deeply painful and disorienting this experience has been for you. The sudden shift from having a seemingly supportive mentor who treated you "like one of her kids" to someone who acted coldly and dismissed your contributions must feel like an enormous betrayal.

A few things stand out as particularly concerning:

1. The bait-and-switch of a "development talk" that turned into a termination

2. The rewriting of your contributions and impact

3. The apparent coordination behind the scenes while maintaining a supportive facade

4. The complete lack of acknowledgment or closure after 4 years of work

Your boss's behavior - particularly the comment about "Just because someone says thank you doesn't mean they're happy with you" - seems designed to gaslight you about your past performance and relationships. This kind of manipulation can make you question your entire experience at the company.

To help process this, you might consider:

1. Documenting everything while it's fresh in your mind, including timelines and specific conversations

2. Speaking with a career counselor or therapist to help process the emotional impact

3. Learning to recognize this as a reflection of your boss's character/leadership, not your worth

4. Being cautious about future workplace relationships while not becoming entirely cynical