I miserably dread going to work every single day what to do ?

Hello everyone,

I’m 27 years old married and 2 kids under 5. I drive trucks for a living and for some time I enjoyed the freedom but now I dread it every single day. I’m home everyday and work for one of the best companies with great benefits. I even got on morning shift which is very rare at my company this early on and thought it will change things. while it did fade the misery for a month but now I’m back to driving aimlessly, unchallenged, non-learning, and feeling stuck in life. I have always wanted to be a cop since childhood but with a stay at home wife and kids it’s very hard to do that especially the pay cut it comes with during the academy. Not to mention it is so hard to make any changes when I’m just working 12 hours a day five days a week and kids afterwards. I took couple days off and it intensified how i felt about my job because life is so much better if I’m not suffering 12 hours a day 5 days sometimes 6 days a week. What should I do to help myself ?

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're in a tough spot, feeling trapped between a stable but unfulfilling job and a long-held dream that feels out of reach. It's completely understandable that you're feeling miserable. Here's a breakdown of how to approach this situation:

1. Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings:

• It's okay to feel this way. You're not ungrateful or weak for disliking a job that provides well for your family. Your desire for a more meaningful career is valid.
• Recognize that this is a significant source of stress, and it's impacting your overall well-being.

2. Explore the "Why" Behind the Misery:

You've already identified some key reasons:

• Lack of challenge and learning: You feel stagnant and unchallenged in your current role.
• Feeling stuck: You see no growth or future in your current career path.
• Unfulfilled dream: The desire to be a police officer is a strong pull, and not pursuing it is a source of discontent.

Dig deeper:

• What specifically about being a cop appeals to you? Is it the sense of service, the excitement, the structure, the community involvement? Understanding this will help you find alternative ways to fulfill those needs if becoming a police officer isn't immediately feasible.
• What aspects of your current job are tolerable or even positive? Identifying these can help you appreciate the stability it provides while you work towards change.

3. Develop a Plan (Even a Long-Term One):

• The Police Officer Dream:
  • Research thoroughly: Investigate the specific requirements, application process, physical demands, and financial implications of joining the police force in your area. Look into part-time or reserve officer options if available.
  • Financial planning: Create a realistic budget that considers the pay cut during the academy. Explore potential financial aid, scholarships, or part-time work options your wife could pursue (even temporarily) to bridge the gap.
  • Talk to officers: Reach out to local police officers to get firsthand insights into the job's realities, challenges, and rewards. This can help you confirm if it's truly the right path for you.
• Alternative Paths (If the police route is too difficult right now):
  • Seek challenges within your current job: Could you take on additional responsibilities, mentor new drivers, or pursue relevant certifications to make your current role more engaging?
  • Explore related fields: Are there other careers within the transportation industry (e.g., logistics, dispatch, training) that might offer more intellectual stimulation or growth potential?
  • Volunteer: Find ways to engage in community service or volunteer work that align with your desire to serve and make a difference. This can provide a sense of purpose outside of work.
  • Skill development: Take online courses or pursue certifications in areas that interest you. This can open up new opportunities in the future.

4. Address the Time Constraint:

• Prioritize and schedule: Even small steps taken consistently can lead to significant progress. Dedicate specific times each week (even 30 minutes) for research, planning, or skill development.
• Involve your wife: Have an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings and your desire for change. Her support is crucial. Brainstorm together how you can make time for these pursuits.
• Utilize downtime effectively: Can you listen to podcasts or audiobooks related to your interests during your drives?

5. Take Care of Your Well-being:

• Physical health: Maintain a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and prioritize sleep. This will help you manage stress and improve your overall mood.
• Mental health: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can provide support, guidance, and coping strategies as you navigate this challenging period.
• Find healthy outlets: Engage in hobbies or activities that you enjoy and that help you relax and de-stress.

Key Takeaway: You don't have to make drastic changes overnight. Focus on taking small, manageable steps towards your goals. By exploring your options, developing a plan, and prioritizing your well-being, you can start to create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.