Is everyone just sort of sh*t at their job?

I get criticized a lot at work. If someone likes me, they’ll say good things about my work. If they don’t, they’ll completely tear it apart.

I used to take it personally, but then I started thinking about how celebrities handle criticism. For example, people have trashed Taylor Swift’s work countless times, yet she’s a Grammy-winning artist. She’s even had celebrities like Kanye West try to derail her career, but now I think he might have just been jealous.

I notice mistakes in other people’s work all the time, but it’s not a big deal to me unless they’re doing something unethical, like defrauding a company. Otherwise, I let it go.

I don’t work at NASA building rocket engines, so a small error here or there isn’t life-threatening. Yet somehow, whenever I make a mistake, people act like it’s a huge deal.

The funny thing is, I’ve ended up in a very senior position. Part of it is because I work really hard, but I get criticized so often that I can’t help but wonder if it’s just a matter of time before it all catches up with me! 

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're dealing with some complex workplace dynamics and experiencing a lot of critique that's causing you stress and self-doubt. Let me break down a few perspectives on what you're sharing:

Criticism and Performance

Your observation about workplace criticism is quite insightful. You're right that people's reactions to mistakes can be wildly inconsistent - sometimes blown out of proportion, other times surprisingly forgiving. The Taylor Swift example is apt; many successful people face intense criticism yet continue to excel.

A few key things stand out:

- You recognize that most workplace errors aren't catastrophic (as you noted, you're not building rocket engines)

- You've developed a mature perspective of not taking every critique personally

- You're able to give others grace while also holding yourself to a high standard

Imposter Syndrome and Career Progression

Your comment about being in a senior position while feeling like you're constantly criticized suggests you might be experiencing imposter syndrome. This is incredibly common, especially among high achievers. The fact that you've advanced to a senior role despite frequent criticism indicates that:

- Your work quality is likely much better than the criticism suggests

- You're resilient and able to learn and improve

- Your hard work is recognized by those who make promotion decisions

Workplace Dynamics

The inconsistency in how your work is perceived (praised by some, harshly criticized by others) could indicate:

- Subjective interpersonal dynamics

- Potential workplace politics

- Different professional standards or expectations among colleagues

Recommendations:

1. Document your achievements and positive feedback

2. Seek constructive, specific feedback when possible

3. Continue your current approach of being professional and focusing on growth

4. Remember that criticism doesn't define your worth or capabilities

Your self-awareness and ability to contextualize criticism are significant strengths. Keep trusting in your capabilities and professional judgment.

I'm getting fired today - they sent me the outlook invite - should I tell them off?

Been working remotely from home at this regional sales position. From the moment I started, this place was a shitshow of disorganization, lack of management and zero onboarding. Embarrassingly so, but I took it in stride.

I was poached by this place who sold me a bad bill of goods that I'd have lots of tech support and one-on-ones with partners. They left me high and dry with a micro manager in their first position managing other people. I figured out a month in that I was the 4th person in the role this year. Lots of promises with zero flow through.

Wednesday before Thanksgiving, I have another terrible call with my manager and about 30 mins later get an Outlook meeting invite for today (Monday after the weekend) 4pm with HR, my boss and their boss. 5 minutes later, it's gone lmao. And a new one gets sent for just my manager and I with no agenda at 4pm.

I'm looking forward to this but I also feel like telling them off. I don't care about my career, I have no intention of continuing this sales path.

Jobadvisor:

I understand your frustration and anger. It's understandable to want to express your feelings, especially after a negative experience. However, it's important to consider the potential consequences of telling your employer off.

Here are some things to consider:

• Professionalism: While it may be tempting to vent your frustrations, it's important to maintain a professional demeanor. This will help you maintain your reputation and future career prospects.
• Potential retaliation: If you say something that is considered unprofessional or offensive, your employer may take retaliatory action, such as refusing to provide a positive reference or even filing a complaint against you.
• Emotional well-being: While it may feel cathartic to express your anger, it's important to consider the impact on your own emotional well-being. Engaging in a confrontation may lead to stress and anxiety.

Instead of telling your employer off, you may want to consider the following:

• Document your experience: Keep a record of any negative interactions or incidents that have occurred during your employment. This documentation can be helpful if you need to file a complaint or seek legal advice.
• Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings and experiences. This can help you process your emotions and develop coping strategies.
• Focus on your future: Instead of dwelling on the past, focus on your future goals and aspirations. This may involve seeking a new job or pursuing a different career path.

Remember, you don't have to stay in a job that is making you unhappy. You have the power to make choices that will improve your well-being and lead to a more fulfilling future.

Hate being a lawyer. How do I make a change??

I've been an attorney for about 14 years and I'm married with 2 kids. I actually met my husband in law school and he decided very quickly that the law wasn't for him, or more transparently, the firm decided for him. Now he isn't a lawyer, has insanely good work-life balance, loves his job and life, etc. but I am the higher income earner by a substantial amount (he makes about 175k with little hope or desire to advance on his part, while I earn about 250k with room for growth). The problem is I'm miserable. My entire career was spent in-house within one niche industry in tech, but I could bear it even though I have never liked being a lawyer. After 10 years in the same company, we had massive layoffs and I was let go. Not only did I have an extremely strict noncompete agreement that effectively barred me from working in the industry for a year, a series of mergers of the major players of our industry consolidated it so much that there are no longer any legal jobs to be had.

My skills were so pigeonholed that I was assuming I'd be out of work indefinitely but instead, I found something very quickly in a completely new industry doing things I've never done before. I hated it and found I had 0 work life balance and massive anxiety. I left about a year later to work at a different company in yet another industry and hate it here even more. The attorneys I work with are completely neurotic, I hate the industry, and I've realized I absolutely hate being a lawyer and don't want to do it anymore.

The problem is how do I extricate myself from this situation? My spouse and I split our expenses (I pay 70% and he pays about 30%), have separate accounts (for some very good reasons) and he refuses to contribute one cent more to our household expenses. He just stopped paying beyond that 30% and so I had to pick up the slack or my credit would have been ruined. He stashes most of his salary away for retirement. I'm left contributing a much larger share. Aside from divorcing him, which will also cost a lot of money, I need a career change asap. I managed to save up two years for each of my kids to cover college. I just don't even know where to start but I need out of the field of law. Anyone have any advice? I feel lost.

Jobadvisor:

I understand that you're feeling lost and frustrated. It's tough to be in a situation where you're unhappy with your career and financial responsibilities are weighing heavily on you. Here are some steps you might consider taking:

1. Assess Your Skills and Interests:

• Identify transferable skills: Think about the skills you've developed as a lawyer, such as critical thinking, problem-solving, research, and communication. These skills can be valuable in many different fields.
• Explore your passions: What are you genuinely interested in? Are there any hobbies or activities you enjoy that could lead to a potential career path?

2. Consider Career Counseling:

• Seek professional guidance: A career counselor can help you identify your strengths, weaknesses, and potential career paths. They can also provide guidance on job searching, resume writing, and interviewing.

3. Explore Alternative Career Paths:

• Consider related fields: Explore industries like consulting, compliance, or risk management, where your legal background could be valuable.
• Think outside the box: Consider completely different fields like project management, teaching, or writing.
• Entrepreneurship: If you have a business idea, you could start your own venture.

4. Develop a Financial Plan:

• Reevaluate your budget: Work with a financial advisor to create a budget that aligns with your income and expenses.
• Consider reducing expenses: Look for ways to cut costs, such as reducing unnecessary expenses or finding cheaper alternatives.
• Build an emergency fund: Having a financial cushion can provide peace of mind and help you navigate unexpected challenges.

5. Address Your Relationship with Your Spouse:

• Open communication: Have an honest conversation with your spouse about your feelings and concerns.
• Seek professional help: Consider couples therapy to improve your communication and resolve any underlying issues.
• Explore legal options: Consult with a family law attorney to understand your rights and options regarding finances and child custody.

Remember, change can be scary, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. By taking small steps and seeking support, you can find a fulfilling career and a happier life. Would you like to discuss any of these steps in more detail?