Just started a new job. My daughter attempted suicide this morning and I need to take time off. How do I approach this?

I’ve been consulting with this company for 6 months and just joined officially two weeks ago and did in-person onboarding earlier this week.

I was transparent with my boss that our daughter has been having a rough time and is in therapy, since her sessions overlap with some of my work meetings.

We’re currently sitting at the hospital because my daughter (12) and her friend tried to OD on Tylenol at school.

I haven’t said anything to my boss yet, but I’m worried they’ll think I’m trying to milk a holiday coming up on Monday. They had an entire talk about how much hours worked matters and their stance on taking time off early.

I don’t want to work. I don’t want to talk to them on the phone. I just want to be here for my daughter.

How do I approach this with my boss?

Jobadvisor:

This is an incredibly difficult situation, and your priority is absolutely being there for your daughter. Your employer's concerns about hours worked are secondary to this emergency. Here's how to approach this:

1. Contact your boss immediately, even if it's via text or email.

• Keep it brief and factual: "I'm writing to inform you that I need to take some time off work. My daughter has experienced a serious medical emergency and is currently hospitalized. I need to be with her."
• Avoid over-explaining: You don't need to go into all the details of the suicide attempt. "Medical emergency" is sufficient.
• Don't apologize for needing time off: This is a crisis, not a minor inconvenience.
• If possible, give a vague idea of how long you'll be out: "I'm unsure of the exact duration at this time, but I will keep you updated as I know more." This takes away some of the uncertainty for your employer without you having to commit to a timeframe you can't be sure of.

Example text/email:

Hi [Boss's name], I'm writing to inform you that I need to take some time off work. My daughter has experienced a serious medical emergency and is currently hospitalized. I need to be with her. I'm unsure of the exact duration at this time, but I will keep you updated as I know more. I will have limited access to my phone, but will check periodically for urgent matters.

2. Follow up with a phone call when you are able.

• When you have a moment and are in a slightly calmer headspace, a brief phone call can be helpful.
• Again, keep it factual. "I wanted to follow up on my message. My daughter is stable but requires ongoing medical attention. I will be taking [Number] days off work and will re-evaluate after that. I will keep you updated on my return."
• If your company has HR, you may also want to contact them to discuss leave options, such as FMLA (Family and Medical Leave Act) if you're in the US, or any other applicable leave policies.

3. Regarding their comments about time off:

• Their prior comments are irrelevant in this situation. This is a genuine emergency, and any reasonable employer will understand.
• If they push back or express concern about the timing, you can simply reiterate that this is a serious family medical emergency that requires your immediate attention. You do not need to feel guilty or justify your need to be with your child during this time.

Key points to remember:

• Your daughter is your priority. Everything else is secondary.
• You are not alone. There are resources available to support you and your daughter.
• Be kind to yourself. This is an incredibly stressful situation, and it's okay to not be okay.

I sincerely hope your daughter recovers quickly, and that you and your family receive the support you need during this difficult time.

I'm losing my mind

I've edited and updated my resume many times, and I'm getting zero responses. I've applied to over 150 jobs at this point. I'm getting nothing. Nada. Crickets. I've spent the last 17 years working as a freelance writer. I have written for major brands (like Credible and LendingTree), so it's not like I don't have experience. But I'm starting to worry that my long-term self-employment is against me.

I don't have a car (my ex left me with nothing, including debt on a repossessed vehicle), and I live in a rural area. So, I genuinely have to have remote work for now. I think the market is oversaturated, which isn't helping either.

I'm looking into content management, social media management, etc. Am I too old? I'm just really frustrated and discouraged right now. I used to be confident in my background and skills, but I'm so insecure now.

I'm using all the resume and cover letter tips. I don't know what in the world I'm missing.

Jobadvisor:

It's completely understandable that you're feeling frustrated and discouraged. Applying to 150 jobs with no responses is incredibly disheartening, and it's natural to start questioning everything. Let's break down some of your concerns and explore potential solutions:

Regarding your freelance background:

• It's NOT a disadvantage: In fact, extensive freelance experience can be a significant asset. It demonstrates self-discipline, time management, the ability to meet deadlines, and experience working with diverse clients.
• How you present it matters: Instead of simply listing clients, frame your freelance work as if it were a series of short-term contracts or projects. Highlight quantifiable achievements and results whenever possible. For example, instead of "Wrote blog posts for Credible," try "Developed 50+ blog posts for Credible resulting in a 15% increase in website traffic (based on client reporting)." This adds concrete value to your experience.
• Address the "gap" if concerned: If you're worried about the appearance of a long "gap" (even though it's continuous freelance work), you can use a functional or combination resume format. This emphasizes skills over chronological work history.

Regarding remote work and the current market:

• The market IS competitive: The remote job market is indeed saturated, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. It just means you need to be even more strategic.
• Focus on niche skills: Instead of broadly applying for "content management" or "social media management" roles, identify specific niches within those fields. For example, "SEO content writing for SaaS companies" or "Social media management for e-commerce brands." This helps you target your applications and stand out from the general pool.
• Networking is crucial: Even in the remote world, networking is vital. Connect with people in your desired field on LinkedIn, join relevant online communities, and attend virtual industry events.

Regarding age and insecurity:

• You are NOT too old: Experience is invaluable. Focus on how your years of experience have equipped you with skills and knowledge that younger candidates may lack.
• Address insecurity with action: The best way to combat insecurity is to take concrete steps to improve your situation. By actively working on your resume, networking, and refining your job search strategy, you'll regain a sense of control and confidence.

Specific resume and cover letter tips to revisit:

• Keywords are essential: Ensure your resume and cover letters are optimized with keywords relevant to the specific jobs you're applying for. Use job description language. Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) often filter applications based on keywords.
• Quantify, quantify, quantify: As mentioned earlier, use numbers and metrics to demonstrate your accomplishments.
• Tailor everything: Generic resumes and cover letters are easily dismissed. Customize each application to the specific job and company. Show them you understand their needs and how your skills can address them.
• Get a second opinion: Have a trusted friend, family member, or career counselor review your resume and cover letter. A fresh set of eyes can often catch errors or suggest improvements.

Additional steps to consider:

• Build a portfolio website: Showcase your best writing samples and client testimonials. This gives potential employers a tangible demonstration of your skills.
• Consider freelance platforms: While you're looking for a full-time position, consider picking up short-term freelance gigs on platforms like Upwork or Fiverr. This can help you keep your skills sharp, build your portfolio, and potentially lead to new connections.

It's tough right now, but please don't give up. Your experience is valuable, and with a focused and strategic approach, you can find the right opportunity. Take things one step at a time, and remember to celebrate small victories along the way.