Got my dream job- am bad at it???

So really weird situation. I’ve been working so hard for years in my field. A few months ago I landed my absolute dream job. I’m directly under the top person in my field. For example, if I were in tech, it’d be like I just got my job under Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.

I was so excited - I felt like my years of hard work paid off. I had applied to hundreds of jobs before this. Unfortunately, since I’ve gotten here, I feel WAY out of my depth. I’m messing up, the pace is way faster than I have ever dealt with, the people are unforgiving and cold.

I am royally screwing up despite trying my absolute best. I feel like my team hates me for not being perfect, but I’ve never worked at this scale.

I would quit - but this is a job people would kill for. I can’t quit. And what a bad impression to make. Besides that, they are gearing up to launch their biggest product in years in 3 weeks. If I quit now, they’d fall apart. They don’t have time to hire and train a new person.

How do I salvage my reputation and hard work for years without screwing this team up? I work 60+ hours a week, am on call 24/7. I feel really confused on what to do and so disappointed in myself. I finally got to what I’ve been working towards, a path to what I truly want to do, and I’m not performing well. And it’s not for a lack of trying. Any advice?

Jobadvisor:

It's completely understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and disappointed. You've worked incredibly hard to achieve this dream job, and it's tough when the reality doesn't match the expectation. Don't beat yourself up too much – imposter syndrome is common, especially in high-pressure situations. Here's some advice on how to navigate this:  

1. Reframe Your Thinking:

• It's a Learning Curve: Realize that even if you were the most experienced person in the world, stepping into a role like this would involve a steep learning curve. You're working at a level you've never experienced before, so mistakes are expected. Shift your focus from "I'm screwing up" to "I'm learning and growing."
• You Were Hired for a Reason: They saw something in you during the interview process. They believed in your potential. Remember that. Your current struggles don't negate your past accomplishments or future capabilities.
• Perfection is Unattainable: Especially in a high-stakes environment like this, aiming for perfection will only lead to more stress and self-doubt. Focus on progress, not perfection. Small wins are still wins.  

2. Take Action:

• Seek Mentorship (Even Unofficially): Even if the culture is cold, try to identify someone (even outside your immediate team if possible) who seems knowledgeable and approachable. Ask for advice – even short, specific questions. "I'm struggling with X, could you point me in the right direction?" People often appreciate being asked for their expertise.
• Clarify Expectations: Don't assume you know what "success" looks like in this role. Have a direct conversation with your boss (or the top person, if possible) about their priorities for you in the short-term (given the product launch) and long-term. What are the most important things you should be focusing on? This will help you prioritize your efforts.
• Break Down Tasks: Large projects can feel overwhelming. Break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This will make progress more visible and less daunting.
• Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of your work, the challenges you face, and the solutions you find. This will not only help you learn from your mistakes but also demonstrate your effort and progress to others.
• Don't Be Afraid to Ask Questions (Strategically): While you don't want to bombard people with questions constantly, don't be afraid to ask clarifying questions when you're genuinely stuck. Frame your questions thoughtfully, demonstrating that you've already tried to find the answer yourself. "I've looked at X and Y, but I'm still unclear on Z. Could you help me understand this?"
• Manage Your Time Effectively: 60+ hours a week is unsustainable. While the launch is critical, you need to find ways to work smarter, not just harder. Prioritize tasks, delegate when possible, and learn to say "no" to things that aren't essential.
• Take Care of Yourself: This is crucial. Burnout will only make things worse. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and finding time for activities you enjoy. Even short breaks can make a difference.

3. Long-Term Strategy:

• Assess the Culture: After the launch, take some time to realistically evaluate the team's culture. Is it truly toxic, or is it just high-pressure? If it's consistently toxic and you've tried the above strategies, it might be worth considering your long-term options, even if this is a "dream job." Your mental and physical health are paramount.
• Focus on Growth: Even if you're not where you want to be right now, you're gaining valuable experience. Focus on what you're learning and how you're growing. This experience, even if challenging, will make you a stronger and more resilient professional in the long run.

4. The Product Launch:

• Focus on Contributing: The launch is a huge deal for the team. Even if you're not feeling confident, focus on contributing in any way you can. Be a team player, offer support, and celebrate the successes. This will go a long way in rebuilding your reputation.
• Learn from the Experience: The launch will be intense, but it will also be a massive learning opportunity. Pay attention to how things work, how decisions are made, and how the team operates under pressure.

It's a tough situation, but you're not alone. Many people experience similar challenges in their careers. Remember your strengths, focus on learning, and don't be afraid to ask for help. You've got this.

What engineering degree basically guarantees you a job as soon as you graduate?

I'm sure any engineering degree can/will eventually lead you to a job because it's a valued skillset, but obviously, like anything, there are some which are in much higher demand.

I know for a fact that software engineer is a highly valued skill that has a high projected demand, but at the same time it's the most saturated job market in the engineering field. There's many jobs available, but simultaneously there's thousands of applicants which makes getting a job extremely stressful.

On the opposite side of the spectrum there's mechanical engineering. It's known to be at or near the top of any list regarding the most difficult degrees to get due to it's complexity. In the end, I hear story after story of mechanical engineers looking for a job for years unless they're lucky.

Is there any field that has a high demand, but not enough applicants? Like as soon as you get your degree there's potential employers filling your inbox with offers?

I'm only asking because I'm going back to school much later in life. I have a lot of financial responsibilities, and the last thing I need is to put myself through all of the studying on top of working full-time and raising a family for 4-6 years, only to get a degree in a highly-competitive field where I'll struggle to find work for a while.

Jobadvisor:

It's great that you're considering going back to school! It's definitely a big decision with a lot of factors to consider. You're right, some engineering fields have better job prospects than others, and it's wise to research this before committing to a program.

While no engineering degree guarantees a job (the market is always changing!), some consistently have high demand and fewer graduates, increasing your chances of landing a job quickly. Here are a few to consider:

1. Chemical Engineering:

• High demand: Chemical engineers are needed in various industries, including pharmaceuticals, energy, manufacturing, and environmental protection. This field is expected to grow steadily.
• Less saturation: Compared to software engineering, there are typically fewer graduates vying for these positions.
• Versatile skills: Chemical engineers develop strong problem-solving, analytical, and project management skills, making them adaptable to different roles.  

2. Petroleum Engineering:

• Critical industry: The world still relies heavily on oil and gas, and skilled engineers are needed to extract and process these resources.  
• Specialized knowledge: This field requires specialized expertise, leading to fewer graduates and less competition.  
• High earning potential: Petroleum engineers often command high salaries due to the demanding nature of the work and the industry's profitability.  

3. Civil Engineering (with a focus on infrastructure):

• Growing need: Aging infrastructure and increasing urbanization create a constant demand for civil engineers, especially those specializing in transportation, water resources, and structural engineering.  
• Government funding: Many infrastructure projects are government-funded, providing some stability in the job market.  
• Tangible impact: You can see the direct results of your work, which can be very rewarding.

4. Electrical Engineering (with a focus on power systems):

• Essential for modern life: Electricity is crucial, and engineers specializing in power generation, transmission, and distribution are always in demand.  
• Renewable energy growth: The shift towards renewable energy sources creates new opportunities for electrical engineers with expertise in this area.  
• Good job security: The need for reliable power ensures consistent job prospects in this field.  

Important Considerations:

• Your interests: Choose a field that genuinely interests you. This will keep you motivated during your studies and throughout your career.
• Location: Job markets can vary regionally. Research the demand for specific engineering disciplines in your area.
• Networking: Start building connections with professionals in your chosen field. Networking can open doors to internships and job opportunities.  
• Internships: Gain practical experience through internships while studying. This can give you a significant advantage when applying for jobs after graduation.  

Don't rule out software!

While software engineering is competitive, you can increase your chances by:

• Specializing: Focus on a niche area like cybersecurity, AI/machine learning, or cloud computing.
• Building a strong portfolio: Develop projects that showcase your skills and problem-solving abilities.
• Networking and internships: Connect with people in the industry and gain practical experience.

Ultimately, the best engineering degree for you depends on your interests, skills, and career goals. Research thoroughly, talk to professionals in different fields, and choose a path that aligns with your aspirations. Good luck with your studies!

Should I quit my job after my FMLA runs out?

I really hate my current job. The actual work is okay, but the people there make it very exhausting, e.g. the rude coworkers, the politics, the drama, the useless managers. I am currently taking FMLA for my chronic mental health condition, which has flared up due to being burnt out/stressed at this job. I've had multiple sobbing breakdowns because of this job, and it's gotten to the point where I sometimes wished for a broken arm just so I don't have to go in. Now that I'm on FMLA, my mental health and overall happiness has shot through the roof. I'm so relieved and my mind feels so light. My FMLA is going to run out soon though, and I am debating whether or not to go back. I don't have another job lined up, but I got in to a graduate program. It is a 1-year program that pays a stipend and has a 100% job placement rate, and it would start in August. Financially speaking, money isn't too big an issue; I have enough saved up. However, I am worried about the resume gap, which would be about 5 months.

Should I quit my job once my FMLA runs out or stay? On one hand, I know I can just quiet quit and tough it out for a few more months. On the other hand, I had already been doing the bare minimum, and it was still horrible for me.

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're in a really tough situation, but it's great that you've recognized the negative impact your job has on your mental health and are taking steps to address it. Let's break down your options and the factors to consider:

Arguments for Quitting:

• Improved Mental Health: Your mental health has significantly improved during your FMLA leave. This is a huge factor. Going back to a toxic environment could undo all that progress and potentially worsen your condition. Your well-being is paramount.
• Graduate Program: Having a guaranteed job placement after a 1-year program is a fantastic opportunity. It addresses your long-term career prospects and offers a clear path forward.
• Financial Stability: You've stated that finances aren't a major concern, which gives you the flexibility to prioritize your well-being.
• Toxic Environment: You've described a workplace filled with rude coworkers, politics, drama, and useless managers. These are significant stressors that are difficult to change and can severely impact mental health. "Quiet quitting" may not be enough to shield you from the negativity.

Arguments for Staying (Even Briefly):

• Resume Gap: A 5-month gap is something to consider. While it's not insurmountable, you'll need to address it in interviews. However, framing it as time taken for mental health recovery and preparation for graduate school is perfectly valid. Many people take career breaks for various reasons.
• Potential Short-Term Income: Even if you're "quite quitting," you'd still be earning something for those five months. This could bolster your savings.
• Maintaining Connections (Potentially): While your current connections sound negative, sometimes maintaining some form of employment can have peripheral benefits (though this seems less likely in your case).

Recommendations and Considerations:

1. Prioritize Your Mental Health: This is the most crucial factor. A job is not worth sacrificing your well-being. If the thought of returning fills you with dread, that's a strong indicator.

2. Weigh the Resume Gap Against Your Well-being: Five months is manageable. You can use this time to:

   • Network: Attend industry events (even online ones related to your future field).
   • Skill-Building: Take online courses relevant to your graduate program or future career. This shows initiative.
   • Volunteer: Even a small amount of volunteer work can fill some of the gap and demonstrate your commitment to something.
   • Plan Your Narrative: Be prepared to explain the gap positively in interviews. Focus on your FMLA leave for mental health, your preparation for graduate school, and any skill development you pursued.

3. Consider a Temporary/Part-Time Job: If you're concerned about the resume gap, you could look for a short-term, part-time, or remote position. This would provide some income, keep your resume active, and potentially offer a less stressful environment.

4. Talk to a Career Counselor (Optional): A career counselor could provide personalized advice on how to address the resume gap and position yourself for success in your graduate program and beyond.

5. Don't Underestimate the Impact of a Toxic Workplace: You've already experienced the negative effects. Going back, even for a short time, could be detrimental.

In your situation, given the toxic environment, your acceptance into a program with job placement, and your financial stability, quitting after your FMLA seems like a very reasonable and potentially beneficial choice. Focus on preparing for your graduate program, taking care of your mental health, and framing your time off constructively. The short-term resume gap is a small price to pay for your long-term well-being and career prospects.