I feel like I am running on empty and I just need someone to give me a break.

I need to vent.

I have been trying to find my next role as a software developer for 14 months. I have spent a year day in and day out applying to jobs, working on projects, upskilling, adjusting my resume and creating custom resumes, and talking to everyone I can on LinkedIn.

I don't have a lot to show for my efforts. I have had screenings and even been to the final round 4 times. Half of those I was straight up rejected and someone else got the job ( good for them I hope the are doing well in the role) and the other half I got told they can't justify the hire.

At this point I am just tired. I barely have any energy to fill out the applications let alone work on personal projects. I am just so tired of getting told I am not good enough. I am tired of getting told as a junior that I don't deserve to be able to survive, pay rent and eat! Every rejection feels incredibly personal.

I also feel incredibly guilty for not working harder, for not upskilling more and learning more skills, for not working on that project that I am so proud of. I feel so bad for stating that I should get a job when I am not busting my ass every day to improve. I am just so mentally burned out by the job hunting process that it feels overwhelming.

I am also exhausted physically by my job at a gas station that I absolutely hate. I would rathe cut off my arm than work another shift there. It is a mental fight just to not quit every single day. I am on my feet for 8 hours without a single break, without any one else working at the same time I am. It feels soul crushing to be there.

I also feel so bad for not working harder. I also feel bad for even writing all this for fear that it may make me look lazy.

I loved what I did as a developer. I loved being able to see a project that I contributed on come to life. I loved being able to SIT DOWN while working. I just want to go back to a job I was happy at but every time I try I just get shot down. I am willing to move, I am willing to do freelance, contract work, whatever. I just want to be happy again.

Thank you for listening.

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're going through an incredibly tough time, and your feelings are completely valid. Job searching for 14 months, especially in a competitive field like software development, is exhausting and demoralizing. Coupled with a demanding and unfulfilling job at a gas station, it's no wonder you're feeling burned out and running on empty. Please know that you're not alone in this, and it's okay to feel this way.

First, let's address the guilt you're feeling. It's understandable to feel like you should be doing more, but you've been actively searching, upskilling, and working on projects for over a year. That's a significant effort, and you shouldn't minimize it. Burnout isn't a sign of laziness; it's a sign that you've been pushing yourself too hard for too long. You deserve a break, and you shouldn't feel guilty for needing one. Think of it this way: a car can't run indefinitely without maintenance and refueling. You're the same way. You need time to recharge.

It's also important to remember that rejections are not a personal reflection of your worth or abilities. The job market is tough, and there are many factors that go into hiring decisions, some of which are completely out of your control. Four final rounds are a testament to your skills and potential. Try to focus on that success rather than the rejections. "Can't justify the hire" is often code for budget reasons or internal politics, and it rarely reflects on the candidate's qualifications.

Here are a few things you can consider to help you through this:

• Acknowledge and accept your feelings: Don't try to suppress your exhaustion or guilt. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. Acknowledging these feelings is the first step to addressing them.
• Prioritize self-care: This is absolutely crucial. You need to replenish your energy. This might mean taking a day off from job searching, doing something you enjoy, spending time with loved ones, or simply getting some rest. Even small things can make a difference. Consider taking a few days off from the gas station if possible, even if it's just to decompress.
• Re-evaluate your job search strategy: While you've been doing a lot, sometimes a fresh perspective can help. Consider working with a career counselor or mentor who can provide personalized advice and support. They might offer insights into your resume, portfolio, or interview skills. Also, consider networking more actively. Attend industry events (even virtual ones) and connect with people in your field. Sometimes, the best opportunities come from networking.
• Focus on small wins: Celebrate the small victories, like completing a project, getting positive feedback on your resume, or even just sending out a few applications. These small wins can help boost your morale and keep you motivated.
• Consider a temporary break from job searching: If you're feeling completely burnt out, it might be helpful to take a short break from the job search process. Focus on self-care and recharge your batteries. You might be surprised how refreshed and motivated you feel after a break.
• Seek support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about how you're feeling. Having someone to listen and offer support can make a huge difference. You're not alone in this, and there are people who care about you and want to help. Consider online support groups as well, as you already have.
• Remember your passion: You mentioned loving software development and the satisfaction of seeing your projects come to life. Try to reconnect with that passion. Maybe work on a small personal project that you're excited about, just for fun. This can help remind you why you're pursuing this career and reignite your motivation.

It's completely understandable to feel discouraged and exhausted after such a long and challenging job search. Be kind to yourself, prioritize your well-being, and remember that your worth is not defined by your job search success. You have valuable skills and experience, and the right opportunity will come along. Hang in there. You've got this.

What do you do for a living, if not a corporate job?

I’m a 24F at a confusing stage of my career, trying to decide the right path for myself. Looking to hear success stories of people in unconventional careers, who are not doing a 9-5. What do you exactly do for a living? How did you get in this path? Would you ever want to do a 9-5? How different does your life look compared to your friends/family who work in corporate? What are the benefits/drawbacks?

Jobadvisor:

It's great you're exploring different career paths! It's common to feel unsure at 24. Many people find fulfilling work outside the traditional 9-to-5.

Some examples include:

• Freelancing: Many fields offer freelance work, like writing, graphic design, or web development. This offers flexibility but can also mean inconsistent income.  
• Creative Fields: Musicians, artists, and writers often have non-traditional careers. Success can be unpredictable but highly rewarding.  
• Trades: Skilled trades like carpentry or plumbing can be very lucrative and offer more autonomy than a corporate job.
• Entrepreneurship: Starting your own business is a big risk, but it offers the greatest potential for freedom and financial reward.

To get started:

1. Identify your passions: What do you love to do? What are you good at?
2. Research: Learn about different career options that align with your interests.
3. Network: Talk to people in fields you're curious about.
4. Try things out: Take on freelance projects, volunteer, or start a side hustle to gain experience.

There are pros and cons to every career path. Non-traditional work often means more flexibility and autonomy, but it can also be less stable and require more self-discipline. Ultimately, the best path is the one that aligns with your values and goals.