I put in my 2 weeks' notice. How do I fix this terrible mistake?

To preface, I work a shitty office job unrelated to my educational background. I needed to make ends meet. Low pay, no insurance, no work from home. I got a job offer elsewhere for job somewhat more closely aligned with what I want to do for my career long-term. It pays $5k more, has insurance, and is closer to home. Also, I have more-than-mild social anxiety (diagnosed, therapy and medication were pursued, etc). This is important for the following interaction:

I put in my 2 weeks notice at my current job and towards the end of the day, the CEO called me into his office. He had seen my notice and asked where I going next, why I'm leaving, etc. He asked if it was the pay. It was, but I said it wasn't. I said it was basically that there was nothing to do, which is true. He really wanted me to stay because it's stressful and time-consuming to train someone for this position. He said maybe he could open up a position for me in his neighboring company that better aligns with me. He asked me if there was anything he could do to make me happy, and my stupid ass said verbatim "I think I've made my decision". I was internally panicking the whole time because of the social anxiety so I could not think straight.

On the drive home it hit me how incredibly stupid I was. Imagine what I could have gotten out of that conversation. But I didn't see it coming, and he had not been in office for 3 weeks, so I didn't prepare for such a conversation at all. I could not imagine being so wanted that I would be asked this.

Anyway, is there anything I can do about this? Can I somehow go back to him and tell him my conditions to stay?

JobAdvisor:

It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and regretful after a high-pressure conversation like that, especially with social anxiety. You're not alone in having "what if" moments after a big decision. Here's a breakdown of how to approach this situation, along with some realistic expectations:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings and the Reality of the Situation:

• Be kind to yourself: You were caught off guard, and your anxiety played a significant role. It's okay to make mistakes.
• Recognize the opportunity: Your CEO clearly values you. That's a powerful position to be in.
• Understand the time sensitivity: The longer you wait, the less likely it is that you'll be able to renegotiate.

2. Strategize Your Approach:

• Don't wait: If you want to try and stay, you need to act quickly. Ideally, you should reach out to your CEO within 24-48 hours of your initial conversation.
• Prepare a clear and concise message:
  • Acknowledge that you reacted impulsively due to anxiety.
  • Express your appreciation for his offer and his valuing you as an employee.
  • State that you've had time to reconsider, and you're open to discussing the possibility of staying.
  • Outline your key concerns and desired changes.
• Be honest and specific:
  • If pay is a major factor, be direct about it. State a specific number, if possible.
  • If the work itself is a problem, clearly explain what aspects you find unfulfilling and what kind of work you'd prefer.
  • If you want the position in the neighboring company, clearly state that.
  • If you want work from home, ask for it.
• Focus on solutions, not just complaints: Instead of saying "there's nothing to do," explain what kind of work you'd find more engaging and challenging.
• Prepare for different outcomes: Your CEO might be open to renegotiation, or he might not. Be prepared for either scenario.

3. Initiate the Conversation:

• Schedule a meeting: Don't try to have this conversation in passing. Send an email or call your CEO's assistant to request a brief meeting.
• Be professional and respectful: Even if you're nervous, maintain a calm and professional demeanor.
• Be prepared to negotiate: Your CEO might counteroffer. Be ready to discuss your needs and find a mutually agreeable solution.

Example of what to say:

"Good morning, [CEO's Name]. I'd like to apologize for how our conversation went yesterday. I realize I didn't clearly express myself, and I was quite nervous. I appreciate you wanting to keep me. I've been thinking about what you said, and I'd like to discuss the possibility of staying. Specifically, I'm very interested in the position at the neighboring company, and I'd also like to discuss salary adjustments. I would like to schedule a time to speak with you about this, if possible."

Important Considerations:

• Your new job offer: Be mindful that if you decide to stay, you'll need to rescind your acceptance of the new job. This could potentially damage your reputation with the other company.
• Company culture: Consider whether the changes you want are realistic within the company's culture. If the CEO is willing to make changes, will they be sustainable in the long term?
• Your long-term goals: Think about whether staying at your current company will truly help you achieve your career goals.

Ultimately, the decision is yours. Weigh the potential benefits and risks carefully. No matter what you decide, remember that you're capable of handling this situation.

How is a 80-hour work week even possible?

Hi! So I've been reading Laziness Does Not Exist by Dr Devon Price and he talks about several people working 80, even 90 hours a week. It's not completely new to me since I have seen Americans talking about having two full-time jobs (so 40x2 hours?), but I still can't wrap my head around it. That would be like 16 hours a day?! How do you even have time to commute, shower, make and eat food? I guess people just run on sleep deprivation.

Not even sure what my question is (how is it possible? Legal?) but I guess I'd welcome people's experiences and opinions. I just know I work 30 to 35 hours a week and I am still exhausted after like 5 weeks lol.

Jobadvisor:

You're right to be skeptical about the sustainability and health implications of consistently working 80+ hour weeks. It's a complex issue with various contributing factors, and it's definitely not a healthy or balanced way to live. Here's a breakdown of how it can happen, and why it's problematic:

How 80+ Hour Work Weeks Can Occur:

• Extreme Work Cultures:
  • Some industries, like finance, law, and tech startups, are notorious for demanding long hours. This can be driven by intense competition, tight deadlines, and a "workaholic" culture.   
  • The expectation of constant availability, fueled by technology, can blur the lines between work and personal life.
• Multiple Jobs (Overemployment):
  • As you mentioned, some people hold multiple full-time jobs to make ends meet or pursue specific financial goals.   
  • Remote work has made this more possible, but also more hidden.
• Entrepreneurship and Startups:
  • Entrepreneurs often work extremely long hours, especially in the early stages of building a business.
  • The lines between work and personal life become extremely blurred.
• "Crunch Time" in Certain Industries:
  • In industries like video game development or film production, "crunch time" involves intense periods of overtime to meet deadlines.  
• Salary vs. Hourly:
  • Salaried workers in many companies are not paid for overtime. This can lead to exploitation, where employers expect excessive hours without additional compensation.  
• Economic Pressures:
  • Rising living costs and stagnant wages can force people to work longer hours or take on extra jobs.   
• Fear of job loss:
  • In competitive work environments, many people work excessive hours out of fear of being replaced.

The Reality of 16-Hour Days:

• Sleep Deprivation:
  • Consistently working 16-hour days inevitably leads to severe sleep deprivation, which has numerous negative health consequences.
• Compromised Basic Needs:
  • Time for essential activities like cooking, eating, showering, and exercising is drastically reduced.
  • People may rely on unhealthy convenience foods and neglect their physical and mental well-being.
• Burnout:
  • Chronic overwork leads to burnout, characterized by exhaustion, cynicism, and reduced productivity.   
• Relationship Strain:
  • Long work hours can damage relationships with family and friends.  
• Health Issues:
  • Long term effects can include heart problems, mental health disorders, and a weakened immune system.

Legality:

• Labor laws regarding working hours vary significantly by country and even by state or province.   
• In the U.S., for example, the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) sets standards for overtime pay, but it doesn't limit the number of hours an adult can work.   
• Many salaried employees are exempt from overtime pay, which can contribute to long work hours.   
• Many countries in Europe have far stricter laws regarding maximum work week hours.   

Key Takeaways:

• While 80+ hour work weeks are possible, they are not sustainable or healthy.
• They often result from a combination of demanding work cultures, economic pressures, and individual choices.
• Prioritizing work-life balance and setting boundaries is crucial for long-term well-being.
• It is important to know your local labor laws.

It's important to remember that productivity doesn't always equal hours worked. Often, excessive hours lead to decreased efficiency and increased errors.

50 and … starting over?

To my shock, I am 50. I gotta tell you, this age sneaks up on you.

I have had the pleasure of working in several career fields throughout my professional life. I spent my 20’s in a highly competitive field that I no longer wish to work in due to 70+ hour weeks and a difficult culture. In my 30’s, I married and proceeded to follow my spouse on their career which led to living abroad in places that were not conducive to a stable career. I picked up jobs here and there as a contractor doing community building work every few years. My job in my 20’s and my subsequent contract positions always had me working alongside heavy-hitters in their respective industries.

We have settled into a more permanent place, and I am just lost in finding a place. At 50, I realize I’m way behind the curve. I have spent 2 years working on a contract doing essentially some community building work. I enjoy the work to some degree, but I miss working in a more demanding career with colleagues who thrive on critical thinking and problem-solving.

I was excited to be in a permanent spot where I could grow in a career. But am I just too late to the game?

A few points — I do not have a tech background; I do not regret following my SO for almost 20 years; and there appears to be genuine shock when people find out I’m 50 and not 40.

Jobadvisor:

It's completely understandable to feel a bit lost and uncertain when you hit 50 and are looking to redefine your career. You're definitely not alone in this experience. Many people find themselves at this stage, seeking a more fulfilling and engaging work life. Here's a breakdown of how to approach this "starting over" phase, addressing your specific concerns:

Addressing Your Concerns:

• "Am I too late to the game?" Absolutely not. 50 is not too late for a career change. In fact, your life experience is a valuable asset. You have a wealth of transferable skills, adaptability, and a unique perspective that younger professionals may lack.
• "I miss working in a more demanding career with colleagues who thrive on critical thinking and problem-solving." This is a key insight. You know what you're looking for, which is a huge advantage.
• "I do not have a tech background." While tech skills are in high demand, they are not a prerequisite for every fulfilling career. Many industries value strong communication, problem-solving, and leadership skills, which you likely possess.
• "I do not regret following my SO for almost 20 years." This is important. It shows you value your personal life and relationships, which is crucial for overall well-being.
• "There appears to be genuine shock when people find out I’m 50 and not 40." This is a positive sign! It suggests you have a youthful energy and vitality, which can be a great asset in the workplace.

Strategies for Starting Over:

1. Identify Your Transferable Skills:
   • Your experience in community building, even in contract roles, has likely honed your communication, interpersonal, and organizational skills.
   • Reflect on your previous career and identify the skills you enjoyed using and excelled at.
   • Consider skills like project management, problem-solving, strategic thinking, and leadership.
2. Explore Your Interests and Passions:
   • What are you genuinely interested in? What topics do you enjoy learning about?
   • Consider volunteering or taking online courses to explore new areas.
   • Think about what kind of work environment you thrive in.
3. Network and Build Connections:
   • Reach out to people in your network, including former colleagues, friends, and family.
   • Attend industry events and conferences to meet new people.
   • Use LinkedIn to connect with professionals in your field of interest.
4. Consider Further Education or Training:
   • If you're interested in a specific field that requires specialized skills, consider taking online courses, workshops, or even pursuing a degree or certification.
   • Look into programs designed for adult learners.
5. Reframe Your Mindset:
   • Focus on your strengths and experience, rather than your age.
   • Be open to new opportunities and challenges.
   • Embrace the idea of lifelong learning.
6. Target your job search:
   • Look for companies that value experience, and diversity in their workforce.
   • When writing cover letters, and during interviews, be sure to highlight the value that your life experiences bring to the position.
7. Consider Career Coaching:
   • A career coach can help you identify your strengths, clarify your goals, and develop a plan for your career transition.

Possible Career Paths:

• Nonprofit or Social Impact: Your community-building experience makes you a strong candidate for roles in this sector.
• Project Management: Your ability to manage projects and work with diverse groups is a valuable asset.
• Consulting: Your breadth of experience could be valuable to companies looking for outside expertise.
• Human Resources: Your interpersonal and communication skills are essential for HR roles.
• Adult education or training: Your life experience makes you a great candidate to help others learn.

Key Takeaway:

Your age is an asset, not a liability. Embrace your experience, be open to new possibilities, and take proactive steps to create the career you desire.