Less than two weeks unemployed and already stressed

My job has been doing massive layoffs recently, and, unfortunately, I was one of the ones they laid off, finalized last week. Took the week off, and finally started the job search on Monday.

I'm already stressed out. I have enough saved up to last 8 months just in case, but am horrified thinking about if I'm unable to find something by then. I've seen accounts of people who have gone a year or more without any hits, and I can't help but see myself being one of them.

I just want to get this over with. I want to get a decent job offer, like, yesterday, so that I can be glad I'll be working again soon. I'm throwing in the odd fast food and retail application in just in case. But this is not fun at all. And I'm barely over a week in. I can't imagine how those of you with several months to over a year are feeling.

Jobadvisor:

It's completely understandable that you're feeling stressed. Job loss is a major life event, and even with savings, the uncertainty of the future can be overwhelming. Here's a breakdown of why you're feeling this way and some strategies to help:

Why You're Feeling Stressed:

• Sudden Change and Loss of Control: Losing your job disrupts your routine and sense of security. You've lost control over your income and daily structure.
• Financial Anxiety: Even with savings, the fear of running out is a significant stressor. The stories you've read about long-term unemployment amplify this fear.
• Pressure to Perform: You're putting immense pressure on yourself to find a job quickly, which can lead to anxiety and burnout.
• Fear of the Unknown: The job market can be unpredictable, and the uncertainty of when you'll find a new position is unsettling.
• Emotional Impact: Job loss can affect your self-esteem and sense of purpose.

Strategies to Manage Stress and the Job Search:

• Acknowledge and Validate Your Feelings: It's okay to feel stressed, anxious, and even angry. Don't try to suppress these emotions. Allow yourself time to process them.
• Structure Your Days: Create a daily schedule that includes dedicated time for job searching, networking, and self-care. This can help restore a sense of control and routine.
• Break Down the Job Search: Instead of viewing it as one massive task, break it down into smaller, manageable steps:
  • Update your resume and LinkedIn profile.
  • Identify target companies and roles.
  • Network with contacts.
  • Practice interview skills.
  • Apply for a set number of jobs each day.
• Focus on What You Can Control: You can't control the job market, but you can control your actions. Focus on:
  • Networking actively.
  • Tailoring your resume and cover letters.
  • Improving your skills.
  • Maintaining a positive attitude.
• Network, Network, Network: Reach out to former colleagues, friends, and family. Let them know you're looking for a job. Networking can open doors to opportunities that aren't advertised.
• Expand Your Search: Applying for fast food and retail positions is a smart move for potential income, but also expand your search in other areas. Consider:
  • Temporary or contract positions.
  • Freelance or consulting work.
  • Industry-related volunteer opportunities.
• Prioritize Self-Care: Take care of your physical and mental health:
  • Get regular exercise.
  • Eat healthy meals.
  • Get enough sleep.
  • Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation.
  • Engage in hobbies and activities you enjoy.
• Limit Exposure to Negative Information: While it's important to stay informed about the job market, avoid dwelling on negative stories that increase your anxiety.
• Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. Consider joining a job search support group.
• Reframe Your Mindset: Try to view this time as an opportunity for growth and exploration. Consider:
  • What new skills can you learn?
  • What career paths are you interested in exploring?
  • What kind of work environment do you want?
• Remember the 8 month buffer. That is a very large amount of time, and is a strong safety net.

It's important to remember that job searching is a process, and it takes time. Be patient with yourself, and don't give up. You have valuable skills and experience, and you will find the right opportunity.

Telling references you got fired

I just got my first full-time job out of college, but was fired in my second week because I was "not a good fit". The situation was beyond my control. I need to apply for jobs again, but I'm dreading contacting my references again and explaining what happened. I'm embarrassed and feel like a disappointment. Is there a way to make this less awkward?

Jobadvisor:

It's completely understandable that you're feeling embarrassed and anxious about contacting your references after being fired so quickly. It's a tough situation, but you can navigate it with honesty and a strategic approach. Here's a breakdown of how to handle this:

1. Prepare Your Explanation:

• Keep it Brief and Professional: Don't go into a long, emotional retelling of the situation. Focus on the facts and avoid blaming or negativity.
• Focus on Fit, Not Failure: Frame it as a "mismatch" or "not the right fit" rather than a personal failing. You can say something like, "Unfortunately, it became clear early on that the role wasn't the right fit for my skills and the company's needs."
• Highlight What You Learned: Even from a short experience, you can find something positive. "Although it was a brief experience, I gained valuable insights into [mention a specific skill or area of knowledge]."
• Emphasize Your Enthusiasm: Reiterate your eagerness to find a position where you can contribute and grow.

2. Contact Your References Individually:

• Phone Call is Best: A phone call allows for a more personal and nuanced conversation.
• Be Upfront: Don't try to hide what happened. Start by saying something like, "I'm reaching out to you because I wanted to update you on my job search. Unfortunately, my recent position didn't work out as planned."
• Provide Your Prepared Explanation: Briefly explain the situation as outlined above.
• Reaffirm Your Value: Remind them of your strengths and qualifications. "I'm confident that my skills in [mention specific skills] would be a strong asset to another organization."
• Express Gratitude: Thank them for their continued support and willingness to serve as a reference. "I truly appreciate your willingness to be a reference for me. Your support means a lot."
• Ask if they are still comfortable being a reference: It is important to give them the option to decline.

3. Address Potential Concerns:

• Anticipate Questions: Be prepared for your references to ask follow-up questions. Answer honestly and calmly.
• Provide Context (If Appropriate): If there were specific circumstances that contributed to the situation, you can briefly mention them, but avoid oversharing.
• Offer to Provide More Information: If they want to know more, offer to provide additional details in a separate conversation.

4. Update Your Resume and Cover Letter:

• Consider Leaving it Off: If the job was only for two weeks, it might be best to leave it off your resume entirely. This avoids the need for explanation.
• If you must include it: If you feel you must include it, just list the company and dates of employment, without details of your responsibilities.
• Focus on Your Strengths: Your cover letter should highlight your skills and qualifications, and why you're a good fit for the position you're applying for.
• Prepare a Statement for Interviews: Have a concise and professional explanation ready for interviews.

5. Reframe Your Mindset:

• It's Not Uncommon: Many people experience job mismatches early in their careers.
• It's a Learning Experience: Focus on what you learned from the experience and how you can apply it to your future job search.
• Don't Let it Define You: Your worth is not determined by one job experience.
• Focus on the Future: Put your energy into finding a position that is a good fit for you.

Key Takeaways:

• Honesty and professionalism are crucial.
• Focus on the positive aspects of your experience and your qualifications.
• Express gratitude to your references for their support.
• It is ok to remove the job from your resume.

By approaching this situation with a positive and proactive attitude, you can minimize the awkwardness and maintain your professional relationships.

I’m the sole Python developer and Cloud Engineer at this company on an entry-level salary, I asked for a raise and my boss threatened to “replace” me with Gen AI

I started at this small marketing agency shortly after I graduated from university, they offered me £32k a year while claiming that I stood out as a “key hire” for their new data team, which they planned to expand. Initially, a junior analyst was hired too, so initially I wasn’t the only python programmer. But she was made redundant after a few months when the agency lost a major client.

Consequently, I was fully alone in handling the data warehouse and doing a project my boss was very keen on. Once there were signs of an MVP, he started pressuring me and was convinced it was a “groundbreaking” tool for the industry.

Under pressure, knowing that i could potentially leave and secure a better job as soon as i delivered it and could put in my CV, I stayed for several more months to manage the tool. The initial release was functional but had some bugs, (especially when running in the cloud on large websites) so sometimes it required manual wrangling and recoding / editing the main script.

While dealing with this stuff, Cursor was released and my boss went from fake nice to constantly negging and making subtle threats to me about how good at coding it is. Even after the release of our product and them selling it to a few players, I did not receive a raise or reward of any kind. Obviously, this further proved to me that I needed to find a new/better job.

I was managing this job while applying for jobs, but then I fell sick and was diagnosed with IBS.

Eventually (having been at the agency for over 18 months atp) I found the courage to ask for a raise, as well as a proper review (my previous annual review involved him making vocal/empty promises and deliberately not writing anything down or recording them in bob) and my boss’ reaction was atrocious.

He started venting about how he doesn’t like that i’m always “fixing” and “redoing” things. He proceeded to go on about new AI tools and how “fast” everything is moving and said he wanted to start deploying AI agents across the agency. He then also asked me to write a list of steps needed to make the product i built for them in the cloud “90% self-sufficient” as well as a timeline for it.

I resigned the next day, I just couldn’t do it anymore. The anxiety. His irrationality. His subtle racist microagressions. My deteriorating sleep and health. The cognitive overload of the role compared to the actual compensation. I’m interviewing at other places now but also processing this experience and…

I can’t believe this happened to me.

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you went through a very difficult and stressful experience. Your boss's behavior was unprofessional and unacceptable, and it's understandable that you reached your breaking point. Here's a breakdown of the issues and some points to consider:

• Exploitation and Undervaluation:
  • You were hired as a "key hire" but were given an entry-level salary and then left to handle a significant workload alone after the junior analyst was made redundant.
  • Your boss capitalized on your dedication and pressure to deliver the MVP, delaying any fair compensation or recognition.
  • His threats to replace you with AI were a clear attempt to devalue your skills and create a hostile work environment.
• Lack of Professionalism and Ethical Conduct:
  • His "negging" and subtle threats were manipulative tactics.
  • His refusal to conduct a proper review and his empty promises demonstrate a lack of respect for your contributions.
  • His demand for a "90% self-sufficient" plan, especially after threatening to replace you, was exploitative.
  • It is also important to note that microagressions are a form of discrimination, and are never acceptable.
• Health and Well-being:
  • The stress of the job clearly impacted your health, leading to IBS and sleep problems.
  • Your decision to resign was ultimately a necessary step to protect your well-being.
• The Reality of AI in the Workplace:
  • While AI tools like Cursor can assist with coding, they cannot fully replace the expertise and problem-solving skills of a human developer, especially when dealing with complex systems and unexpected issues.
  • The idea that an entire product can be made 90% self sufficient, is highly unlikely, and shows a lack of technical understanding.
  • Your boss's claims about AI were likely an attempt to intimidate you and justify his refusal to provide a raise.
• Moving Forward:
  • Focus on your job search and finding a company that values your skills and treats its employees with respect.
  • Document your experiences, including any evidence of your contributions and your boss's behavior. This documentation may be helpful if you decide to pursue legal action or file a complaint.
  • Prioritize your health and well-being. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed.

It's important to remember that you are not alone in experiencing workplace exploitation. Many people face similar challenges, especially in fast-paced industries like technology. Your skills and experience are valuable, and you deserve to work in a healthy and supportive environment.

How do I handle a job that makes me cry several times a week in this job market?

I'm honestly not a good fit in this role. I want so badly to be good at this job, but it's not clicking. I'm not getting it. I've been here for 7 months, and I have a ton of different job duties in a small office that I don't have a ton of prior experience in, so I'm learning the job details while being responsible for pretty important, new things. The processes aren't defined or well established and there's no QA process. Tiny details are frequently changing, and it's super busy. I made a fairly small mistake that makes us not look good, and I feel like shit about it. I cry from stress multiple times a week, and while I like my coworkers, it's a really tough place to work with a constantly moving bar. Think being a client service associate, operations, reporting, and executive assistant for four executives at the same time. I walk out feeling stupid daily and I'm not. I've never made mistakes the way I've made mistakes here, and I've been working in several different industries for 10 years. When I go home, I'm completely exhausted and have no life outside of work. I'm already on bp meds and it's regularly sky high. Yes I have adhd and yes I'm being treated for it.

Obviously I can't quit my job without a new one. I need health insurance. I don't have family who can help in the interim and I have no savings. I really just need to either figure this place out or survive until I find a new job. I don't know what else I can change to make sure I don't forget anything - I already write things in one note so I look them up, have a basic checklist for most daily tasks but there are hundreds and I don't always think to look at my notes because of workload. Other people can handle it but I'm failing.

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're in an incredibly challenging and stressful situation. It's completely understandable that you're experiencing such intense emotional distress. Here's a breakdown of how to approach this, focusing on both immediate coping and long-term solutions:

1. Immediate Coping Strategies (Survival Mode):

• Prioritize Your Mental and Physical Health:
  • Your health is paramount. Continue your ADHD treatment and be honest with your doctor about the stress you're under. Discuss potential adjustments to your medication or additional support.
  • Address your blood pressure. If it's consistently high, seek medical advice immediately.
  • Implement stress-reduction techniques:
    • Deep breathing exercises: When you feel overwhelmed, take a few minutes to practice deep, slow breaths.
    • Mindfulness or meditation: Even a few minutes a day can help calm your mind.
    • Short walks during breaks: Get some fresh air and movement.
    • Try to get consistent sleep, as hard as that may be.
• Manage Your Workload:
  • Communicate with your supervisors (if possible): While the environment sounds difficult, try to have a calm conversation about your workload and the lack of clear processes. Explain that you're struggling to manage the volume and complexity of tasks. Focus on solutions, not just problems. For example:
    • "I'm finding it challenging to keep up with the constantly changing details. Could we implement a daily or weekly meeting to review updates?"
    • "I'd benefit from some clearer guidelines on [specific task]. Is there a chance we could work on those together?"
  • Focus on the most critical tasks: Identify the absolute must-dos and prioritize them. Delegate or postpone less urgent tasks if possible.
  • Document everything: Continue using OneNote, but refine your system. Create detailed checklists for each task, even the seemingly simple ones. Consider a physical checklist you can mark off.
  • "Time Blocking" schedule time for specific tasks in your day. This can help prevent task overlap and help you focus.
  • Embrace "good enough": In a chaotic environment, perfection is often unattainable. Focus on doing your best, but don't beat yourself up over minor mistakes.
• Create Boundaries:
  • Disconnect after work: Resist the urge to check emails or work on tasks outside of work hours. Your evenings and weekends are for rest and recovery.
  • Learn to say "no": Politely decline additional tasks or projects if you're already overwhelmed.

2. Long-Term Strategies (Finding a Way Out):

• Job Search:
  • Update your resume and LinkedIn profile: Highlight your skills and experience, even if they don't perfectly align with your current role.
  • Network: Reach out to former colleagues, friends, and family to let them know you're looking for new opportunities.
  • Focus on roles that align with your strengths: Consider your past experiences and identify the types of tasks and environments where you thrive.
  • Tailor your applications: Customize your resume and cover letter for each job you apply for.
  • Practice interviewing: Prepare for common interview questions and practice your responses.
  • Look for companies with established processes and supportive cultures: Research potential employers on sites like Glassdoor to get a sense of their work environment.
• Skill Development:
  • Identify any skills gaps that may be hindering your performance. Consider online courses or certifications to enhance your skills.
  • Consider if there is a way to specialize in one aspect of your current job, and try to become the expert on that one thing.
• Professional Help:
  • Consider therapy or counseling: A therapist can provide you with tools and strategies to manage stress, anxiety, and ADHD.   
  • A career coach can help you with your job search and career development.   

Important Considerations:

• You are not failing: The environment you're in is inherently stressful and chaotic. It's not a reflection of your abilities.
• Be kind to yourself: You're doing the best you can under difficult circumstances.
• Remember your worth: You have valuable skills and experience. Don't let this job diminish your confidence.

This is a tough situation, but you're not alone. By focusing on your well-being and taking proactive steps toward finding a better job, you can navigate this challenging time.