Federal workers are sweating bullets right now, and it’s not just the usual D.C. humidity. With Donald Trump back in the White House and Elon Musk whispering in his ear, the rumor mill’s churning about a massive purge of government jobs. The buzz started with Trump’s late-2024 campaign promise to slash the federal payroll, amplified by Musk’s loud cheerleading for a leaner bureaucracy. Their brainchild? The Department of Government Efficiency—or DOGE, because of course it’s got a meme-coin vibe—is headed by Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy. The mission: hack away at what they call a bloated, sluggish workforce. For the 2 million-plus feds clocking in daily, it’s less funny and more terrifying.
The plan’s hazy, but the vibes are clear. Trump’s vowed to “drain the swamp” again, this time with Musk’s tech-bro gusto—think AI audits and ruthless cost-cutting. DOGE isn’t even an official agency yet—just a task force with a deadline tied to Trump’s term—but it’s already got teeth. Musk’s been on X railing against “wasteful” federal spending, pointing to his Tesla and SpaceX layoffs as a blueprint. He axed 10% of Tesla’s staff last year and still posted record profits; now he’s hinting at a sequel for Uncle Sam. Ramaswamy chimed in, promising to shred “redundant” jobs and red tape by 2028.
Workers aren’t imagining the axe. The Office of Personnel Management says only about 8% of feds can be fired outright—political appointees—but the other 92% aren’t invincible. Trump’s team is dusting off “Schedule F,” a 2020 executive order that’d reclassify thousands of career staffers as at-will employees, making them easier to pink-slip. It flopped last time amid legal pushback, but with a GOP Congress and a fired-up base, it’s got legs now. Posts on Reddit’s r/fedworkers are grim: “I’ve got 15 years in, and I’m refreshing USAJobs daily,” one wrote. Another: “Musk doesn’t get it—my agency’s understaffed already.”
The numbers are daunting. The federal workforce hasn’t shrunk much since the ‘90s—2.1 million in 2024, per OPM, versus 2 million under Clinton. But efficiency’s the rallying cry, and DOGE’s got fans beyond the MAGA crowd—libertarians and deficit hawks are nodding along. Critics, though, say it’s a fantasy. Feds aren’t just paper-pushers; they’re air traffic controllers, VA nurses, and IRS agents keeping the lights on. Slash too deep, and you’re not saving cash—you’re crashing systems. A 2024 GAO report warned understaffing is already gumming up Social Security and disaster relief.
For now, it’s all talk—no mass layoff notices have hit. But the mood in federal cubicles is bleak. Musk’s tweets about “firing the dead weight” don’t help, and Trump’s silence on specifics keeps the paranoia simmering. DOGE might fizzle—or it might carve up the government like a Tesla assembly line. Either way, federal workers are bracing for a wild ride.