Would you take a 40% salary increase for more stress?

Interviewed for a remote role (hard to come by nowadays), some travel few times a year, 40% increase would have me go from 80's range to 120's range. Opportunity to learn, challenge, grow, and really push me forward for the future.

However, I do have a family and am looking to have another baby... when she mentioned that the challenges people face coming into the company is keeping up with the pace and workload, it kinda frightens me. She says it's evening and weekends only during busy periods where a project or something is needed done and requires flexibility and that they're flexible back.

To me, it sounds like a very demanding role. I come from a huge fortune 100 cushiony and comfy job with not much to do lol BUT I am bored and would like more money. Currently hybrid going 2x a week soon to the office, remote is important to me BUT so is my mental health.

Jobadvisor:

This is a tough decision with a lot of factors to weigh! A 40% salary increase is significant, but so is the potential increase in stress and its impact on your family. Here's a breakdown of things to consider to help you decide:

Pros of the New Role:

• Significant Salary Increase: 40% is substantial and could significantly improve your family's financial security and open up new opportunities.
• Career Growth: The role offers learning, challenge, and growth, which could be invaluable for your long-term career prospects. Stagnation can be demotivating, and this role sounds like it would push you.
• Remote Work (Mostly): While there's some travel, the primarily remote nature is a big plus, especially with a family and the desire for another child.

Cons of the New Role:

• Increased Stress: The interviewer's comments about the pace and workload, including evenings and weekends, are a major red flag. This directly conflicts with family time and could significantly impact your mental health.
• Work-Life Balance: The demanding nature of the role could make it difficult to maintain a healthy work-life balance, especially with a young family and the desire for another baby. Consider the practicalities of childcare, household chores, and simply having downtime.
• Impact on Family: The stress and long hours could affect your relationships with your family. A new baby requires a lot of support, and your partner might feel overwhelmed if you're constantly working.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

• What are your priorities? Is the extra money worth the potential stress and impact on your family? What are your long-term career goals?
• How much stress can you handle? Everyone has a different tolerance for stress. Be honest with yourself about your limits.
• How supportive is your partner? Talk to your partner about the potential changes and how they might affect your family. Their support is crucial.
• Can you negotiate? Is there any flexibility in the workload or expectations? Could you negotiate a trial period to see if the role is a good fit?
• What are the alternatives? Are there other opportunities you could explore that offer a better work-life balance? Don't jump at the first offer if you have serious reservations.

Advice:

1. Don't rush the decision. Take your time to weigh the pros and cons carefully.
2. Talk to your partner. This is a family decision, and you need to be on the same page.
3. Ask more questions during the interview process. Dig deeper into the expectations for evenings and weekends. Ask about team dynamics and how they support employees during busy periods. Ask for specific examples of "busy periods." The more information you have, the better equipped you'll be to make a decision.
4. Consider a trial period. If possible, negotiate a probationary period where you can assess the workload and see if it's sustainable.
5. Prioritize your mental health and family. No amount of money is worth sacrificing your well-being or your family relationships.

Ultimately, the decision is yours. There's no right or wrong answer. Weigh the factors carefully and choose the path that you believe is best for you and your family. A 40% increase is tempting, but a happy and healthy family is priceless.

My boss asked me "who do you report to"; am i overreacting by thinking that's a little insulting?My boss told me to do something in regards to a potential legal escalation. I then talked to the leasing department about the issue & took direction from them on one thing. Essentially, i emailed someone who i forgot to CC in initial emails to ensure they were on the communication. My point was to exhaust all options with all contacts before any legal escalation.

When my boss found out, he called me into his office, said he takes issue with me not listening to his clear direction, that i should take direction only from him, and asked me who i report to. He also told me this was the 2nd time i did something like this. He brought up something from last week, but he never told me it was a mistake until we today. So he brought it up like i made 2 similar mistakes in 2 separate weeks, when in reality he never told me before, and i still have no idea what mistake i made or what he was talking about specifically. He then said i was doing a great job overall and he didn't want me to be pissed.

To me, this was a minor thing and i don't want to bother my boss over minor things. I kept it respectful in our brief discussion but it's really annoyed me. I also now am paranoid about doing stuff without his express approval or him pulling me into his office and disciplining me over god knows what.

Been at this job for 6 months and just passed probation. My boss overall is OK, but he is moody and has moments where i can't stand him....

Jobadvisor:

You're not overreacting to feel a bit insulted and definitely not overreacting to feel annoyed and paranoid. Your boss's handling of the situation has several red flags:

• "Who do you report to?" This question, especially in that context, is inherently condescending. It implies you've forgotten the hierarchy and need a reminder of his authority. It's designed to put you in your place, not to foster open communication.

• Bringing up a past "mistake" without prior feedback: This is a classic management fail. If he had an issue last week, he should have addressed it last week. Bringing it up now makes it feel like he's stockpiling grievances and creates an unfair playing field. You can't learn from a mistake if you aren't told you made one.

• "Clear direction" that wasn't clear: You were following protocol by consulting the leasing department, especially regarding a legal issue. It sounds like the "clear direction" was to avoid escalation, which is exactly what you were trying to do by gathering information. His expectation that you only get information from him, especially on something with potential legal ramifications, is unreasonable.

• Contradictory feedback: He tells you you're doing a great job overall, then criticizes you for these supposed "mistakes." This creates confusion and makes it hard to understand what he actually wants.

• Moody behavior: You describe him as moody, which suggests this isn't an isolated incident. This kind of unpredictable behavior creates a toxic work environment and makes it difficult to feel secure in your job.

What you can do:

1. Document everything: Keep a record of your interactions with your boss, including dates, times, and specific details of conversations. This is crucial if things escalate further. If possible, document the advice you received from the leasing department.

2. Clarify expectations (carefully): The next time you have a one-on-one with your boss, try to calmly and professionally clarify his expectations. For example, you could say something like, "I want to make sure I understand your preferred process for handling situations like the one last week. Could we discuss the best way to keep you informed while also gathering necessary information from other departments?" Frame it as wanting to improve, not as challenging his authority.

3. Don't be afraid to push back (respectfully): If he brings up the "mistake" from last week again, politely but firmly say, "I wasn't aware that was a problem. If you had mentioned it last week, I would have addressed it then. Could you explain specifically what I did wrong so I can avoid it in the future?"

4. Consider your options: If his behavior continues or worsens, you might want to consider talking to HR (if your company has one) or looking for a new job. A consistently negative work environment can take a toll on your mental health.

5. Don't internalize it: Remember, his behavior reflects on him, not on you. Try not to let it undermine your confidence. You've passed your probation period, which means they value your work.

It's understandable to want to avoid conflict, but you also have the right to be treated with respect. By documenting everything and trying to communicate clearly, you can protect yourself and hopefully improve the situation.