Accepted a fully remote job and my current job countered. I countered back and radio silence since. How long do I wait?

Current job: $100K, senior title, 3 days in office, 2 days remote (30 min each way commute)

Accepted a job for $105K, $5K signing bonus, fully remote, senior title.

My company countered with Manager title + $110K.

I recountered with $120K. HR asked me to justify my salary request (strange) and I wrote a formal letter. However, I’m supposed to start my new job on 4/7 and my current job hasn’t given me an answer yet.

How long do I wait? I realize I should’ve given a deadline for today. I feel like backing out on my current offer a week before starting will be a worse look as each day passes. I do like my current job which is why I would stay for an extra $20K and title increase. I’m also human and have a heart and find it a bad look if I back out of my new job less than a week out. Thoughts?

Jobadvisor:

This is a classic, stressful situation! Here's a breakdown of how to approach it, balancing professional courtesy with your own best interests:

Understanding the Situation

• Your Position: You're in a strong position, having a solid offer in hand. Your current company is clearly interested in retaining you.
• The Silence: The radio silence after your counter is concerning. It suggests they're either:
  • Hesitating.
  • Trying to call your bluff.
  • Going through a slow internal approval process.
  • Deciding you are not worth it.
• The Deadline: You're right, setting a clear deadline initially would have been ideal. However, it's not too late to create one.
• Ethical Considerations: You're concerned about backing out of the new job at the last minute, and rightly so. This is a valid concern, and it is best to avoid if at all possible.

Action Plan

1. Set a Firm Deadline (Immediately):

   • Send a polite but firm email to your HR contact at your current company.
   • State that you understand they're considering your counter-offer.
   • Clearly state that you need a decision by the end of the day on [Date - 2 business days from now]. For example, if today is Friday, you would need to tell them by the end of the day on Tuesday.
   • Explain that you have a start date approaching and need to finalize your decision.
   • Example:
     • "Dear [HR Contact Name],
     • I appreciate you taking the time to consider my counter-offer. As my start date for the other position is approaching on April 7th, I require a final decision by the end of the day on [Date].
     • Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.
     • Sincerely,
     • [Your Name]"

2. Prepare for Both Outcomes:

   • If they accept:
     • Get the offer in writing, including the new salary, title, and any other agreed-upon terms.
     • Immediately inform the new company of your decision, expressing sincere regret. Be professional and brief.
   • If they decline or miss the deadline:
     • Accept the new job.
     • Inform your current company of your decision, thanking them for their time.

3. Communication with the New Company:

   • Do not contact the new company with any updates until you have a final decision from your current employer.
   • If you must decline, be as professional and polite as possible. Explain that a situation changed, and you are no longer able to accept the role.
   • There is no good way to back out of a job offer, however, it is better to do it sooner than later.

4. Justifying Your Salary Request:

   • You already wrote a formal letter justifying your salary request, which is good. It is strange they asked for that, but it is done now.
   • Be confident in your value. The market dictates salary, and you have an offer that validates your request.

Key Considerations

• Professionalism: Maintain professionalism throughout the process, regardless of the outcome.
• Your Value: Remember your worth. You have a competitive offer, and your current company clearly values your contributions.
• Future Relationships: Consider the potential impact of your decision on your future relationship with your current company.
• The New Job: The new job is fully remote and has a signing bonus. These are very good benefits.

Timeline

• Immediately: Send the deadline email.
• 2 Business Days: Await their response.
• After the Deadline: Make your final decision and inform both companies.

By setting a deadline and preparing for both outcomes, you'll be able to navigate this situation with confidence and minimize any potential negative consequences.