Negotiating can be a high-stakes dance—whether it’s for a raise, a deal, or a new job. But even the savviest among us can trip over our own feet without realizing it. Subtle missteps can weaken your position and leave money or opportunities on the table. Here’s a look at how you might be sabotaging yourself during negotiations—and how to turn it around.
1. You Apologize Too Much
Starting with “Sorry, I know this might sound greedy…” instantly puts you on the defensive. Over-apologizing signals doubt in your own worth, making it easier for the other side to lowball you. Instead, own your ask with confidence. Try: “Based on my contributions, I’d like to discuss a raise.” No apologies needed.
Starting with “Sorry, I know this might sound greedy…” instantly puts you on the defensive. Over-apologizing signals doubt in your own worth, making it easier for the other side to lowball you. Instead, own your ask with confidence. Try: “Based on my contributions, I’d like to discuss a raise.” No apologies needed.
2. You Accept the First Offer
Jumping at the initial proposal might feel polite, but it’s a rookie mistake. That first number is often a starting point, not the ceiling. Pause, thank them for the offer, and counter with something higher, backed by research or results. You’ll rarely lose the deal for asking, but you might gain a lot.
Jumping at the initial proposal might feel polite, but it’s a rookie mistake. That first number is often a starting point, not the ceiling. Pause, thank them for the offer, and counter with something higher, backed by research or results. You’ll rarely lose the deal for asking, but you might gain a lot.
3. You Overshare Your Bottom Line
Saying “I’d take anything above $50,000” hands the other side a cheat sheet. They’ll hover just above your minimum, even if they could’ve gone higher. Keep your cards close. Focus on what you deserve, not what you’d settle for, and let them make the next move.
Saying “I’d take anything above $50,000” hands the other side a cheat sheet. They’ll hover just above your minimum, even if they could’ve gone higher. Keep your cards close. Focus on what you deserve, not what you’d settle for, and let them make the next move.
4. You Negotiate Against Yourself
Ever catch yourself saying, “I’d like $80,000, but I guess $75,000 works too”? That’s you bargaining yourself down before they even respond. Present one clear, firm ask—then stop talking. Silence is your ally; it forces them to react instead of you backtracking.
Ever catch yourself saying, “I’d like $80,000, but I guess $75,000 works too”? That’s you bargaining yourself down before they even respond. Present one clear, firm ask—then stop talking. Silence is your ally; it forces them to react instead of you backtracking.
5. You Skip the Prep Work
Winging it rarely wins. If you don’t know your market value, their budget, or your own achievements, you’re negotiating blind. Prep pays off: research industry standards, gather data on your impact, and practice your pitch. Knowledge isn’t just power—it’s leverage.
Winging it rarely wins. If you don’t know your market value, their budget, or your own achievements, you’re negotiating blind. Prep pays off: research industry standards, gather data on your impact, and practice your pitch. Knowledge isn’t just power—it’s leverage.
The Fix: Flip the Script
The good news? These habits are fixable. Approach negotiations like a strategist, not a supplicant. “People overestimate the risk of asking and underestimate their own value,” says negotiation coach Lisa Gates. Stand tall, stay sharp, and don’t undercut yourself. The only thing you should be conceding is the idea that you’re not worth it.
The good news? These habits are fixable. Approach negotiations like a strategist, not a supplicant. “People overestimate the risk of asking and underestimate their own value,” says negotiation coach Lisa Gates. Stand tall, stay sharp, and don’t undercut yourself. The only thing you should be conceding is the idea that you’re not worth it.