Got a Job at Disney, but My Mom is Mad—What Should I Do?

I (22M) am graduating from college this May with a degree in Data Science and Economics. I know how brutal the job market is right now, and I recently landed a corporate job at Disney in their Anaheim office (Team Disney Anaheim). This is a huge deal for me because I’ve been actively pursuing opportunities with Disney, and it aligns with my career goals in product development and strategy.

However, my mom (57) is furious about it. She thinks I should be aiming for something else, though she hasn’t given me a clear answer on what exactly. I assume she’s concerned about the distance, social scene (how active I will be), or maybe she just had a different vision for my career. I’ve tried explaining that Disney is a dream company for me, and breaking into a company like this right out of college is a big accomplishment, especially in this economy. But she’s still mad and making me feel like I’m making a mistake.

I really value her opinion, but I also know this is an opportunity I worked hard for and genuinely want to take. I don’t have much time to decide, and I feel lost. Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? What would be the best course of action?

Jobadvisor:

This is a classic "adulting" dilemma, and it's tough when you're caught between your dreams and your family's expectations. Here's a breakdown of how to approach this, combining empathy with asserting your independence:

1. Understand Her Concerns (Even If She's Not Explicit):

• Schedule a Calm, Focused Conversation: Don't try to hash this out in the heat of the moment. Say something like, "Mom, I really want to understand why you're upset about the Disney job. Can we set aside some time to talk about it?"
• Active Listening: Let her speak without interrupting. Try to understand her underlying emotions, not just the words she's saying.
• Probe Gently: Ask open-ended questions:
  • "What specifically about this opportunity concerns you?"
  • "What kind of career path did you envision for me?"
  • "Are you worried about the distance, or something else?"
  • "Is there anything that i can do to alleviate your concerns?"
• Consider Possible Reasons:
  • Distance: Is she worried about you moving far away?
  • Fear of the Unknown: Does she not understand the corporate side of Disney?
  • Different Expectations: Does she have a different idea of "success" (e.g., a more traditional career, staying closer to home)?
  • Emotional Attachment: Is she finding it hard to let go as you transition into full independence?
  • Social Concerns: Is she worried you will not have a good social life, or that you will work too much?

2. Clearly Communicate Your Perspective:

• Reinforce Your Gratitude: Acknowledge her concerns and express that you value her opinion.
• Explain Your Rationale: Don't just say "it's my dream." Explain why it's your dream:
  • "This role aligns perfectly with my career goals in product development and strategy."
  • "Disney is a leader in the industry, and this is a rare opportunity for a recent graduate."
  • "I've researched the company and the role thoroughly, and I'm confident it's the right fit for me."
  • "This will allow me to use my degree in Data Science and Economics."
• Highlight the Positives: Emphasize the benefits of the job:
  • Career growth potential.
  • Valuable experience.
  • Financial stability.
  • Personal growth.
• Address Her Specific Concerns: If she's worried about distance, talk about your plans to stay in touch. If she's worried about your social life, talk about how you plan to build a community.

3. Set Boundaries and Assert Your Independence:

• You Have the Final Say: Gently but firmly remind her that this is your decision.
• "I understand your concerns, Mom, but I've carefully considered this opportunity, and I believe it's the best choice for me."
• "I respect your opinion, but ultimately, I need to follow my own path."
• "I hope you can support me in this decision, even if you don't fully agree with it."
• Offer Reassurance: If distance is a concern, set up regular calls, visits, or video chats.
• Allow Time: Sometimes, parents need time to adjust. Don't expect her to change her mind overnight.

4. Possible Compromises (If Appropriate):

• Regular Updates: Promise to keep her updated on your work and life in Anaheim.
• Visit Regularly: If distance is the main issue, plan frequent trips home.
• Discuss Future Plans: If she's worried about your long-term career, discuss your future goals and how this job fits into them.

Important Considerations:

• Your Mental Health: Don't let her disapproval overshadow your excitement. It's okay to be happy about your achievement.
• Your Future: This is your life, and you have the right to make choices that align with your goals and values.
• Her Love: Remember that her concerns likely stem from love and a desire to protect you.

Ultimately, you need to balance respecting your mom's feelings with asserting your independence. This is a crucial step in your transition to adulthood. Good luck!