I resigned today. Did I make a mistake?
I resigned today. Boss took it badly and now I’m having second thoughts. See below:
I’ve worked for a small company for almost 6 years now. I had a mid to senior position at the company and a very good relationship with the family that owns it… I work directly under the CEO right now.
After I came back from my maternity leave, I decided that this company is essentially dead end and there’s no growth for me here since there’s no positions for me to move into. They are a small mom and pop shop and they regularly have cash flow issues- I don’t believe they’re going out of business or anything but it’s just a small company that has plateaued.
They also haven’t given me a raise since 2020 , and when I asked for a $15,000 raise last year, they said they can’t afford it and denied me even $5000- just nothing. Not even anything to cover inflation.
Well, after a month of looking this year, I got an offer at a huge company, same type of role- but lots of growth potential since it’s a big company with lots of positions above me. I will be getting an $11,000 raise, way better benefits, and even an in house pension. It’s also fully remote.
I accepted the job!
At the same time this happened, my boss at my current job asked me to start working 3 days per week from the office (I’ve been fully remote since 2020).
I ended up having a disagreement about this with him and we ended up having a meeting over it as it turned into a pretty big argument. I told him I have to think about if it works for me long term.
Well, he didn’t know I had another job lined up, so when I went in today for a meeting to give my notice- he was shocked.
He actually started tearing up a bit, asked me if I’m sure this is what I wanted, why I’m making this decision (I reiterated the flexibility is worth money to me, and that being taken away plus my below average compensation for my role- it’s just not going to work for me).
He said that this isn’t the conclusion he thought I’d come to and he’s really taken aback.
He then implied that I would have gotten a raise soon, and that when I asked last year, he just needed some more time training me on some more stuff but then I went on maternity leave shortly after so there was a time constraint (this is BS because again, they had lots of time to give me a raise; and didn’t even give me a small bump out of good faith when I asked)
All in all he was so sad, almost cried, kept hugging me and saying I’ve been such a valuable member, they’re going to miss me, I’ve been here since the company took off etc etc.
The reason I started applying for new roles is because I often felt like a loser in my professional life because I was at a dead end company making pretty crappy pay ($70,000 per year with no inflation raises, and no signs of promotions even being available to me as I was at my ceiling)
However; as a mom, the flexibility it provided me, how laid back my bosses were etc was a source of comfort for me. I can take the kids to the park during the day, prep dinner, pick up my kids from daycare whenever I feel like etc.
I was having second thoughts last night but decided to look at the root issue and why I started applying for jobs in the first place. I was reminded that staying here wouldn’t solve the root issue I had which is that I was still at a dead end company, and even though it gave me comfort and flexibility… Flexibility is being taken away in a sense, and I will never grow if I just make decisions off of comfort and it won’t solve the root issue I had which is a mental issue of Knowing I can be further along at this point in my career life.
However, the CEO’s reaction, which was also my boss, doesn’t make me feel any better and now I just am even more nervous that I let this job go
What if the new job sucks and isnt flexible in terms of management? What if it’s toxic? What if i get laid off since it’s a big company, etc etc. So many things going through my head and even though i feel this was the right choice long term i still have doubts.
Jobadvisor:
First, take a deep breath. You’re experiencing the natural mix of emotions that comes with making a significant life decision, especially one as impactful as leaving a job you’ve been at for six years. Let’s break this down and address your concerns step by step.
### **1. Did You Make the Right Decision?**
From what you’ve shared, it seems like you made a well-thought-out decision based on rational factors:
- **Stagnation:** You correctly identified that your current company is a "dead end" with no room for growth. This is a legitimate concern, especially for someone in a mid-to-senior position who wants to continue advancing in their career.
- **Compensation:** You haven’t received a raise since 2020, despite asking for one last year. Even a small cost-of-living adjustment would have been reasonable, but they refused entirely. The new job offers an $11,000 raise, better benefits, and even a pension—this is a substantial improvement.
- **Flexibility:** While your current job has provided flexibility, it sounds like that was already being taken away with the request to return to the office 3 days a week. Your new role is fully remote, which aligns better with your lifestyle as a mom.
- **Growth Potential:** The new company is much larger, offering more opportunities for advancement. Staying at your current job would mean remaining stagnant, both financially and professionally.
Your reasoning for leaving checks all the boxes: better pay, better benefits, more flexibility, and greater long-term potential. These are solid, logical reasons to make a change.
### **2. Why Are You Having Second Thoughts?**
It’s completely normal to feel doubt after making a big decision, especially when your boss reacted emotionally. Here’s why this might be happening:
- **Emotional Reaction from Your Boss:** When your boss got emotional and expressed how much you mean to the company, it likely triggered feelings of guilt or uncertainty. However, remember that his reaction doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice—it just means he values you (which is a good thing!). Unfortunately, valuing you didn’t translate into fair compensation or opportunities for growth.
- **Fear of the Unknown:** Leaving a familiar environment for something new always brings uncertainty. Questions like “What if the new job isn’t as great as I think?” or “What if I get laid off?” are natural fears. But staying in a stagnant role out of fear isn’t the solution.
- **Comfort vs. Growth:** You mentioned that your current job provided a sense of security and flexibility. It’s hard to give up something that feels safe, even if it’s not fulfilling your long-term goals. This tension between comfort and ambition is common, but stagnation can lead to resentment over time.
### **3. Addressing Your Fears About the New Job**
Let’s tackle the “what ifs” you’re worried about:
- **What if the new job sucks?**
- Every job has its pros and cons, but you’ve done your due diligence by evaluating the offer and ensuring it aligns with your priorities (pay, benefits, flexibility, growth). If the new job turns out to be worse than expected, you can always reassess and make another change. Leaving a job doesn’t lock you into anything permanently.
- **What if it’s toxic?**
- Do some research on the new company’s culture before starting. Read reviews on Glassdoor, talk to current or former employees if possible, and observe during your onboarding period. If red flags arise early, you’ll have time to address them or consider other options.
- **What if I get laid off?**
- Layoffs can happen at any company, big or small. However, larger companies often have more resources and stability than small businesses. Plus, with your improved salary and benefits, you’ll be in a better financial position to weather any challenges.
### **4. Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty**
Your boss’s emotional reaction doesn’t negate the fact that he undervalued you for years. Consider these points:
- **No Raises Since 2020:** You were underpaid for your role, and your request for even a modest raise was denied. A company that truly values its employees wouldn’t let inflation erode your purchasing power.
- **Empty Promises:** His claim that you would have gotten a raise soon rings hollow. If they valued you enough to give you a raise, they could have done so already. Instead, they waited until you resigned to hint at future compensation—a classic tactic to guilt-trip employees into staying.
- **Lack of Growth Opportunities:** Your desire for professional growth is valid, and staying at a company where you’ve hit a ceiling wouldn’t solve that issue. The emotional appeal of “we’ll miss you” doesn’t outweigh your need for advancement.
You didn’t do anything wrong by prioritizing your career and personal needs. Your boss’s reaction is about his own feelings, not yours.
### **5. What to Do Now**
Here are some steps to help you move forward confidently:
- **Acknowledge Your Emotions:** It’s okay to feel nervous or conflicted. Write down your thoughts to process them, and remind yourself of the reasons you decided to leave in the first place.
- **Focus on the Positives:** Keep reminding yourself of the benefits of your new role: higher pay, better benefits, growth opportunities, and continued remote work. These are tangible improvements that will enhance both your career and quality of life.
- **Prepare for the Transition:** Use your two-week notice period to wrap things up professionally. Document your processes, train colleagues if needed, and leave on good terms. This will help ease any lingering guilt and ensure a smooth departure.
- **Give the New Job a Fair Chance:** Once you start your new role, approach it with an open mind. It may take time to adjust, but focus on building relationships, learning the ropes, and seeing how the company operates before jumping to conclusions.
- **Plan for Uncertainty:** If you’re worried about layoffs or other risks, create a financial safety net. Save part of your increased salary, update your resume regularly, and network to stay connected in your industry.
### **6. Final Thoughts**
You didn’t make a mistake. You made a thoughtful, strategic decision to prioritize your long-term career growth and personal fulfillment. While your current job provided comfort and flexibility, it wasn’t meeting your needs in terms of compensation, professional development, or alignment with your goals.
Your boss’s emotional reaction is understandable—he’s losing a valuable employee—but it doesn’t change the fact that you deserve better. Trust yourself and the process you went through to arrive at this decision. Over time, as you settle into your new role and experience the benefits firsthand, your doubts will fade.
**You’ve got this.**
**Final Answer:** **No, you did not make a mistake.**