When Sarah Klein lost her tech job last fall, she didn’t just lose a paycheck—she lost a piece of herself. The 34-year-old coder spent weeks in a fog, grappling with rejection, shame, and an unshakable void. “It felt like someone died,” she says. She’s not alone. For many, job loss triggers a grief so profound it mirrors the rituals of mourning—akin to sitting shiva, the Jewish tradition of communal healing after a death. As layoffs ripple through industries in 2025, this quiet parallel is reshaping how we process professional upheaval.
A Grief Unrecognized
Klein’s story echoes a growing sentiment: losing a job isn’t just a logistical hit—it’s an emotional gut punch. Psychologists call it “disenfranchised grief”—a loss society doesn’t fully validate. There’s no funeral for a pink slip, no casseroles dropped off for the newly unemployed. Yet the pain is real. A 2024 study found 60% of laid-off workers reported symptoms akin to mourning: denial, anger, depression. “Work gives us identity,” says Dr. Rachel Blum, a therapist specializing in career transitions. “When it’s gone, we’re unmoored.”
The Shiva Analogy
In Jewish tradition, shiva is a week of raw, supported grieving—mirrors covered, visitors offering comfort. Job loss, some argue, deserves its own version. After Klein’s layoff, friends rallied informally: they brought takeout, listened to her vent, and shared their own career stumbles. “It was my shiva without the name,” she says. This communal instinct is catching on—online forums now host “layoff support circles,” while some ex-colleagues meet for coffee to mourn shuttered offices together.
Why It Hurts So Much
Jobs aren’t just income—they’re purpose, routine, community. For Klein, her startup wasn’t just a gig; it was a tribe of late-night coders chasing a dream. When it folded, she lost that belonging. The gig economy amplifies this: 40% of U.S. workers freelance by choice or necessity, per 2025 data, tying self-worth to fleeting contracts. “Every end feels personal,” Blum notes, “even when it’s not.”
A Cultural Blind Spot
Society shrugs at this grief. “Get back out there” is the mantra, not “take your time.” Klein felt pressure to hustle—LinkedIn brims with “open to work” badges, not “still processing” ones. But rushing risks burying the hurt. “We need space to sit with it,” says Mark Torres, 41, who took a month post-layoff to journal before job hunting. That pause, he says, kept him from spiraling.
Healing Through Ritual
Some are crafting their own shiva-like responses. Torres burned old business cards—a symbolic goodbye. Klein wrote a letter to her former role, then deleted it. Therapists suggest small acts—cleaning a desk, hosting a farewell Zoom with ex-teammates—to mark the transition. “Ritual gives closure,” Blum explains. “It says, ‘This mattered.’”
A New Perspective
Job loss will never be painless, but reframing it as grief could soften the blow. Companies might offer “exit circles” alongside severance, letting workers process collectively. Friends could treat it less like a problem to fix and more like a loss to honor. For Klein, now freelancing, the makeshift shiva from her crew didn’t erase the sting, but it reminded her she wasn’t alone. In a world where work defines us, maybe mourning its loss is the most human response of all.
