A recent study by the Pew Research Center reveals that U.S. adults have varying opinions on the values and traits they believe should be prioritized in raising boys versus girls. These differences highlight ongoing societal debates about gender roles, expectations, and the future of child development.
The survey asked respondents to weigh in on what qualities—such as responsibility, independence, empathy, or kindness—should be emphasized more when raising children of different genders. While some traits were seen as universally important, others sparked notable divides.
Responsibility: A Shared Priority
One area of agreement emerged around the importance of teaching responsibility. Large majorities of Americans said that fostering a sense of accountability is crucial for both boys (86%) and girls (85%). This suggests that, regardless of gender, most people see responsibility as a foundational life skill.
Independence vs. Empathy
Opinions diverged, however, when it came to emphasizing independence and empathy. For boys, 71% of respondents said that encouraging independence should be a priority, compared to just 53% who felt the same about girls. Conversely, a greater share of Americans (60%) believed that empathy should be emphasized more for girls than for boys (48%).
These findings reflect longstanding cultural narratives about masculinity and femininity. Traditional views often associate independence with male traits and empathy with female ones, though these stereotypes are increasingly being challenged in modern discussions about gender equality.
Kindness and Respect Across Genders
Kindness also ranked highly among desired traits for both genders, but slightly more so for girls (65%) than boys (59%). Similarly, respect was considered important for all children, though a marginally higher percentage of respondents prioritized it for boys (62%) compared to girls (59%).
This subtle emphasis on kindness for girls and respect for boys may stem from societal expectations tied to behavior and interpersonal relationships. However, many advocates argue that such traits should be cultivated equally across genders to promote balanced personal growth.
Generational Differences in Perspective
Interestingly, generational gaps played a role in shaping these attitudes. Younger adults—particularly Millennials and Gen Z—were more likely than older generations to support equal emphasis on traditionally "gendered" traits like empathy and independence. This shift signals evolving perspectives on how rigid gender norms can limit individual potential.
For example, nearly two-thirds of adults under 30 agreed that empathy should be taught equally to boys and girls, compared to less than half of those aged 65 and older. Likewise, younger respondents showed stronger support for promoting independence among girls.
Implications for Parenting and Education
The data underscores the complexity of navigating gender expectations in parenting and education. While there is broad consensus on certain universal values, such as responsibility, disagreements persist over which traits deserve extra attention based on gender. These differing viewpoints could influence everything from classroom dynamics to family conversations about identity and behavior.
Experts suggest that moving toward a more inclusive approach—one that encourages all children to develop a wide range of skills and emotional capacities—could help break down outdated stereotypes. By focusing less on gender-specific ideals and more on holistic development, society may better equip young people to thrive in an ever-changing world.
As America continues to grapple with questions of gender and equity, this research highlights the nuanced ways in which adults perceive the upbringing of boys and girls. While significant progress has been made in challenging traditional norms, disparities in emphasis remain. Bridging these gaps will require ongoing dialogue and a collective effort to redefine what it means to raise confident, compassionate, and capable individuals—regardless of gender.