Why do I feel so awful going to the office?

It’s a nice, spacious and bright office. Yet, every time I go in, I feel the most tired I’ve ever been, I get headaches, greasy skin and have to be very selective with lunch otherwise the entire afternoon is a write-off. I don’t even spend full days there, so it’s not like long hours.

When working from home, I don’t experience this to the same degree, if at all. I suspect it could be the fluorescent lighting in the office because it’s like clockwork at times. I end up feeling 10x more drained than at home.

Has anyone else experienced this? It’s like a physical manifestation of hating being there or something, but it genuinely prevents me from feeling my best I just always end up feeling and looking wrecked (+ headache)

EDIT: forgot to add that in these moments my body also gets hot/warm, and during winter when it starts to get dark outside, the combination of bright lighting and computer screen messes me up. I can’t explain it just feels awful visually and physically.

Jobadvisor:

It sounds like you're experiencing a very real and distressing reaction to being in your office. You're right to suspect that it might be more than just a general dislike of being there, and your detailed description points to some potential environmental triggers. Here's a breakdown of possible causes and what you can do:

Possible Environmental Triggers:

• Fluorescent Lighting:
  • This is a common culprit. Fluorescent lights can flicker, even imperceptibly, which can cause headaches, eye strain, and fatigue. They also emit a "cool" light that can be harsh and contribute to feelings of unease.
  • Your sensitivity to this could be higher than average.
• Air Quality:
  • Offices can have poor ventilation, leading to stale air, increased levels of CO2, and the buildup of volatile organic compounds (VOCs) from furniture, carpets, and cleaning products.
  • This can cause headaches, fatigue, and skin irritation.
• HVAC System:
  • The heating, ventilation, and air conditioning (HVAC) system can contribute to your discomfort. Dry air can irritate your skin and sinuses, while inconsistent temperatures can lead to feelings of being too hot or too cold.
• Electromagnetic Fields (EMFs):
  • While less common, some people are sensitive to EMFs from computers, Wi-Fi routers, and other electronic devices.
• Visual Strain:
  • The combination of bright lighting, computer screens, and potentially glare can put a lot of strain on your eyes, leading to headaches and fatigue.
• Stress and Psychological Factors:
  • Even if you're not consciously aware of it, the office environment or work-related stress can trigger physical symptoms. Your body's "fight or flight" response can manifest as headaches, sweating, and feelings of unease.
  • The association of the office with stress can create a negative feedback loop.

What You Can Do:

• Address Lighting:
  • Talk to your employer: Explain your symptoms and ask if it's possible to change the lighting. Consider suggesting LED lighting with a warmer color temperature.
  • Use a desk lamp: If changes aren't possible, bring in a desk lamp with a warmer, adjustable light.
  • Anti-glare screen: Use an anti-glare screen on your computer to reduce eye strain.
  • Blue light filter: install a blue light filter on your screen.
• Improve Air Quality:
  • Ventilation: Open windows when possible.
  • Air purifier: Consider bringing in a small air purifier for your desk.
  • Plants: Introduce some indoor plants, which can help improve air quality.
• Optimize Your Workspace:
  • Ergonomics: Ensure your workstation is ergonomically sound to reduce physical strain.
  • Take breaks: Take frequent short breaks to rest your eyes and move around.
  • Hydration: Drink plenty of water throughout the day.
• Manage Stress:
  • Mindfulness and relaxation techniques: Practice mindfulness or relaxation techniques to manage stress.
  • Talk to someone: If you suspect stress is a major factor, talk to a therapist or counselor.
• Medical Evaluation:
  • See a doctor: If your symptoms persist or worsen, see a doctor to rule out any underlying medical conditions.
  • Allergy testing: consider allergy testing.
• Lunch Considerations:
  • Avoid heavy meals. Lighter meals with more vegetables and protein will help prevent the afternoon slump.
• Document your Symptoms:
  • Keep a log of when your symptoms occur, what you're doing, and any potential triggers. This can help you and your doctor identify patterns.

Important Considerations:

• Your sensitivity to these environmental factors may be unique. Don't dismiss your symptoms as "just in your head."
• Be proactive in addressing these issues with your employer. They may be unaware of the problem, and they have a responsibility to provide a safe and healthy work environment.

By systematically addressing these potential triggers, you can hopefully create a more comfortable and productive work environment for yourself.

How do people realize their true passion?

I'm 42 and I still don't know what I want to do. I quit my job during covid and have been idling ever since. At least I know that job I was doing is not right for me, but it took so long for me to wake up and realize that. I'm the type of person that has great potential and can accomplish something great if I put my mind at it. I've thought about many different career paths in various fields that interest me. But choosing the right path for me and sticking with it is the hardest thing to do. I'm afraid of choosing another wrong path and wasting even more years unhappy doing a job I don't like. And at my age time is running out.

How do people do it? How do they decide "That is what I want to devote all my energy toward for the rest of my life" ? How can I find that one thing that I love to do for the remainder of my life?

Jobadvisor:

It's very common to feel uncertain about your passion, especially with the pressures of time and the desire for fulfillment. Here's a breakdown of how people discover their passions, and some actionable advice for you:

Understanding the Process:

• Passion is often discovered, not found:
  • It's less about a sudden revelation and more about a gradual process of exploration and self-discovery.
  • It can evolve over time. What excites you now might be different in a decade.   
• Passion intersects with purpose, interest, and skill:
  • It's where something you love doing meets something you're good at, and ideally, something that provides a sense of purpose.
• It requires action and experimentation:
  • You can't find your passion by just thinking about it. You have to try things.

Practical Advice for You:

• Self-Reflection and Exploration:
  • Identify your values: What's truly important to you? (e.g., creativity, helping others, intellectual stimulation).
  • Recall peak experiences: Think about times when you felt truly engaged and fulfilled. What were you doing? What elements were present?
  • Pay attention to what you gravitate towards: What do you read about? What do you spend your free time doing? What topics excite you in conversation?
  • Journaling: Write down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This can help you identify patterns and gain clarity.   
• Experiment and Try New Things:
  • Embrace "micro-experiments": You don't have to make huge leaps. Start small. Take a class, volunteer, join a club, or start a side project.
  • Step outside your comfort zone: Try things you've always been curious about, even if they seem intimidating.
  • Don't fear failure: Every experience, even a negative one, provides valuable information.
• Connect with Others:
  • Talk to people: Ask friends, family, and mentors about your strengths and interests.
  • Seek out people who are doing work you admire: Learn about their journeys and ask for advice.
  • Join communities: Connect with people who share your interests.   
• Mindset Shifts:
  • Release the pressure of "finding the one thing": It's okay to have multiple passions and to change paths throughout your life.
  • Focus on the present: Instead of worrying about the future, focus on enjoying the process of exploration.
  • Be patient: Finding your passion takes time.

Regarding your age:

• 42 is not "too late." Many people find their true calling later in life. Your life experience is a valuable asset.
• Your past job experience, even if negative, has helped you to understand what you do not want. This is very valuable information.

It is important to remember that the search for passion is a personal journey. Be kind to yourself, and trust that you will find your way.

Being laid off. Need help on what i am doing wrong ?

Hi All

This is more of a rant and cry for help from my side.
I am an Indian (30M) working in an e-commerce industry since few years now. with total of 5.5 YOE.

I started my career with Consulting for one of Big4 which was very toxic and insanely long hours. This resulted me to switch to industry and have been doing strategy & operations role since then for last 3.5 years. I joined my current org a year back and it has been very challenging since last 8 months.

My manager is not happy with my work and since last few months it has been constant pressure & push to perform. Even after the push, I was told that my performance is not enough and I am being put on PIP.

My anxiety is at peak since I am 30 year old and with 5+ YOE. This feels like a huge failure and am anxious if I will be able to perform in my next job or not ?
The thing which many would say is working for me is that I am from one of IIMs but that adds lot of pressure now as the bar and expectations are high for this

I am seeking advice and help as to what I might be doing wrong ?
Anyone else faced this issue in their career ?
I am seeking professional help but need inputs from people in Corporate ?

Jobadvisor:

It's completely understandable that you're feeling anxious and overwhelmed right now. Being put on a PIP (Performance Improvement Plan) and facing potential job loss can be incredibly stressful, especially when you've invested significant time and effort into your career. Let's break down your situation and explore potential areas for improvement and support.

Understanding the Situation

• Manager's Feedback: The core issue seems to be your manager's dissatisfaction with your performance. It's crucial to understand the specific reasons behind this. "Not enough" is vague. You need concrete examples of where you're falling short.
• Pressure and Anxiety: The constant pressure and your own anxiety are likely creating a negative feedback loop. Anxiety can impair performance, which then increases anxiety, and so on.
• IIM Pressure: While your IIM background can open doors, it also creates expectations. It's important to remember that everyone experiences challenges, regardless of their background.
• E-commerce Industry: E-commerce is a fast-paced, competitive industry. It requires adaptability, quick learning, and the ability to handle ambiguity.

Potential Areas for Improvement

1. Seek Specific Feedback:
   • Schedule a meeting with your manager to discuss the PIP in detail. Ask for clear, actionable feedback with specific examples.
   • Focus on understanding the gaps between your performance and their expectations.
   • Document everything. This will be valuable for your own understanding and for future discussions.
2. Self-Reflection and Skill Assessment:
   • Objectively assess your strengths and weaknesses.
   • Identify areas where you might need to improve your skills (e.g., project management, data analysis, communication).
   • Consider if the current role is truly aligned with your skills and interests.
3. Address Anxiety and Stress:
   • Continuing to seek professional help is essential. A therapist can provide strategies for managing anxiety and building resilience.
   • Prioritize self-care: exercise, sleep, healthy eating, and relaxation techniques.
   • Consider mindfulness or meditation to help manage stress.
4. Improve Communication and Collaboration:
   • Ensure you're communicating effectively with your manager and colleagues.
   • Proactively seek feedback and clarification.
   • Focus on building positive relationships with your team.
5. Project Management and Execution:
   • If your role involves project management, focus on improving your planning, execution, and tracking skills.
   • Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
   • Prioritize tasks and manage your time effectively.
6. Industry Knowledge and Adaptability:
   • Stay up-to-date with industry trends and best practices.
   • Be adaptable and willing to learn new skills.
   • E-commerce changes rapidly.
7. Network and Seek Mentorship:
   • Connect with professionals in your industry.
   • Seek mentorship from experienced individuals who can provide guidance and support.
   • Networking can also help you find new opportunities.
8. Performance During the PIP:
   • Treat the PIP as a serious opportunity to improve.
   • Document your progress and demonstrate your commitment to improvement.
   • Over-communicate with your manager about your progress.

Addressing the "What Am I Doing Wrong?" Question

It's not necessarily about doing something "wrong." It could be a combination of factors:

• Misalignment of Expectations: Your manager's expectations might not be clear, or they might differ from your understanding.
• Communication Breakdown: Miscommunication or lack of clarity can lead to misunderstandings.
• Skill Gaps: There might be specific skills that you need to develop.
• Company Culture: The company culture might not be a good fit for your working style.
• Managerial Style: Sometimes, a manager's style can create difficulties for employees.

You Are Not Alone

Many professionals experience career setbacks and challenges. It's important to remember that a PIP or job loss does not define your worth or potential. Use this experience as an opportunity for growth and learning.

Key Takeaways

• Seek specific feedback and understand the reasons behind your manager's dissatisfaction.
• Address your anxiety and stress through professional help and self-care.
• Focus on improving your skills and communication.
• Treat the PIP as an opportunity to demonstrate your commitment.
• Network and seek mentorship.
• Do not let the pressure of your IIM background overwhelm you.

Remember, you have valuable experience and skills. Focus on what you can control, and take proactive steps to improve your situation.