Calling in sick for a full week, coming back with a wicked tan. How else should I handle this?

My current job is at a small-ish finance company, I'm quitting in a couple of months. I got an opportunity to go on a trip to Costa Rica in 1 month. I don't have vacation days, but I do have 5 sick days. I'm planning on calling in sick for that week and coming back with a wicked tan.

I feel a little bad because I'd be leaving my coworkers with a little extra work (a couple hours) but I'd be able to frontload most of it the week prior. I'd probably lose the ability to get a reference... but how else could I handle it?

Jobadvisor:

This is a tricky situation! While the Costa Rica trip sounds amazing, calling in sick for a full week when you're not actually ill does come with some potential downsides, especially in a smaller company where your absence will be felt. Let's break down the situation and explore some alternative approaches:

The Downsides of Your Current Plan:

• Dishonesty: Calling in sick when you're not is dishonest and goes against workplace trust.
• Impact on Coworkers: Even if you frontload some work, unexpected issues can arise, and your colleagues will still have to cover your responsibilities, potentially causing them stress and extra hours.
• Damaged Reputation: While you're leaving soon, word can travel within the industry, and a reputation for dishonesty isn't ideal.
• Lost Reference: As you mentioned, this is a very likely outcome. A reference from your current role could be valuable in the future, even if you have a new job lined up.
• Potential Consequences (though less likely since you're leaving): In some companies, falsely claiming sick leave could lead to disciplinary action, though this is less of a concern given your impending departure.

Alternative Ways to Handle This:

Here are a few other options you could consider, ranging from the most ethical to those with more risk:

1. Be Honest and Request Unpaid Time Off:

   • How to do it: Approach your manager as soon as possible and explain the situation honestly. Say something like, "I have a unique opportunity to take a trip to Costa Rica next month. I understand I don't have any remaining vacation days, but I was hoping we could discuss the possibility of taking that week as unpaid time off."
   • Pros: Honest and maintains integrity. Shows you value open communication. You might be surprised – your manager might be understanding, especially knowing you're leaving soon anyway.
   • Cons: Your request might be denied. You would have to forgo a week's pay.

2. Negotiate a Slightly Earlier Departure:

   • How to do it: If your new job allows for some flexibility in your start date, you could try to negotiate leaving your current role a week earlier. Explain that you have a pre-planned personal commitment.
   • Pros: Avoids dishonesty. Allows you to take your trip without impacting your current workplace during that specific week.
   • Cons: Might not be feasible with your new job's start date. You would lose a week's pay from your current role.

3. Try to Swap Shifts/Responsibilities (Less Likely in Finance):

   • How to do it: Depending on the nature of your work and your company culture, you could explore if there's any possibility of swapping responsibilities or shifts with a colleague for that week. This is less likely in a finance setting with specific tasks and deadlines.
   • Pros: Potentially allows you to take the time off without using sick days.
   • Cons: Highly dependent on your specific role and company culture. Might put an unfair burden on a colleague.

4. Take a Few Sick Days and Extend with Unpaid Time Off:

   • How to do it: You have 5 sick days. You could potentially use those and then request the remaining days as unpaid leave.
   • Pros: Partially honest. Reduces the amount of unpaid time off you need to request.
   • Cons: Still involves using sick days when not actually sick. Your request for unpaid time off for the remaining days could still be denied.

5. The "Grey Area" - Strategic Timing of Your Departure:

   • How to do it: If your departure date is somewhat flexible, could you potentially time it so that your last day falls right before your trip? This avoids the need to call in sick at all.
   • Pros: Completely avoids the ethical dilemma of faking sick leave.
   • Cons: Might not be possible depending on your new job's start date and your current company's expectations for notice.

Recommendation:

The most ethical and potentially least damaging approach is to be honest and request unpaid time off (Option 1). While there's a chance it will be denied, it demonstrates integrity and respect for your employer and colleagues. Given that you are leaving soon anyway, your manager might be more willing to accommodate your request.

If that's not feasible, negotiating a slightly earlier departure (Option 2) is another good option if your new job allows for it.

Calling in sick for a full week with a planned vacation carries significant risks to your professional reputation, even if you are leaving soon. The small amount of inconvenience you might save your colleagues by frontloading work doesn't outweigh the dishonesty involved.

Regarding the wicked tan: If you do end up taking the week off (regardless of how), you can simply say you spent the week relaxing outdoors or visiting family in a warmer climate if anyone comments on your tan. You don't need to explicitly mention Costa Rica if you're worried about the sick leave situation.

Ultimately, the decision is yours, but weighing the potential consequences against the benefit of the trip is crucial. Prioritizing honesty and maintaining positive professional relationships, even as you leave, is generally the best long-term strategy.

Boss lied to me and passed me over. What now?

Rough situation here and I’m feeling really hurt. I stuck at my job for 7 years and was passed over for a promotion. My manager told me I’d get the job and just to stick around even tho he couldn’t pay much so I did. Then he hired his old friend from the outside. It’s a smallish company so there aren’t many opportunities to move up. I always had verygood reviews. I’m sad and frustrated. I feel dumb for trusting him and the owner. I yelled at them when I found out and this was 2 weeks ago and said sorry so I’m not getting fired prob. I like everyone else here and my small town. It’s Montana and not much where I live so I’d have to move my husband and kids probably, and my disabled mother. I guess I don’t know what to do. Try to work for new boss or just pick up my life because I got screwed. Any advice would help.

Edit: thank you so much, everyone, for your excellent advice and kindness. Ive felt so low since this happened and all of this was so nice to hear. I feel more hopeful after reading all of this. Thanks for taking the time to help a stranger turn things around in a very bad time in my life.

Jobadvisor:

This is a tough situation, and it's completely understandable that you're feeling hurt, betrayed, and confused. You dedicated seven years to this company based on promises that weren't kept. It's natural to feel angry and foolish, but please know that your feelings are valid, and you're not dumb for trusting your boss.

Here's a breakdown of advice, considering your specific circumstances:

1. Take Some Time to Process and Calm Down:

• While you've already apologized for yelling, ensure you're in a calmer headspace before making any significant decisions. Allow yourself to feel the emotions without letting them completely dictate your next steps.
• Talk to your husband or a trusted friend/family member about how you're feeling. Having a support system is crucial right now.

2. Evaluate Your Current Situation Objectively:

• The Betrayal: Acknowledge that your trust was broken. This is a significant factor in your job satisfaction and future with the company.
• The New Boss: How do you feel about working under this new person? Do you respect their experience? Is there any possibility of a positive working relationship?
• Limited Growth: You've already identified that upward mobility within this company is likely limited. This is a key factor to consider for your long-term career goals.
• Your Value: Remember your seven years of experience and consistently good reviews. You are a valuable employee, even if your current company doesn't fully recognize it.
• The Montana Factor: The difficulty of moving your family, including your disabled mother, is a significant constraint that needs careful consideration.

3. Explore Your Options (Short-Term and Long-Term):

• Stay and See:

  • Try to work with the new boss: While difficult, try to maintain a professional attitude. Observe their management style and see if there are any opportunities to learn or contribute.
  • Focus on your current role: Can you find ways to make your current responsibilities more engaging or develop new skills within your existing position?
  • Document everything: Keep records of your accomplishments and any further interactions with management, especially any promises made.
  • Quietly look for other opportunities: Even if moving is difficult, start exploring remote work possibilities or other companies within a reasonable commuting distance. This gives you options without immediate upheaval.

• Plan Your Exit:

  • Update your resume and LinkedIn profile: Highlight your seven years of experience and positive reviews.
  • Start networking: Reach out to contacts in your field, even if they are outside of Montana. Let them know you're exploring new opportunities.
  • Research companies in Montana or remote-friendly organizations: Focus your job search on places where you might not need to relocate immediately.
  • Consider the logistics of moving: If you do need to move, start researching potential locations that could accommodate your family's needs, including care for your mother. This is a long-term planning process.

4. Have a Calm and Professional Conversation (If You Choose To):

• While you've already expressed your anger, consider having a more measured conversation with the owner (and perhaps your former manager, if you feel it's beneficial for closure).
• Focus on the broken promises and how they have impacted your trust and commitment to the company.
• Frame it in terms of your future and what you need for your career growth.
• Avoid accusatory language and focus on the facts of the situation.
• Your goal here isn't necessarily to get the promotion back, but to express your disappointment and understand their perspective (though it might not change the outcome).

5. Prioritize Your Well-being:

• This situation is emotionally draining. Make sure you're taking care of yourself.
• Seek support from friends, family, or even a therapist if you're struggling with the emotional fallout.
• Focus on things you enjoy outside of work to help maintain a healthy perspective.

Key Considerations Given Your Circumstances:

• Your Mother's Care: Any decision to move must prioritize her well-being and access to necessary care. Researching healthcare options in potential new locations is crucial.
• Your Husband and Children: Have open and honest conversations with them about the situation and any potential changes. Their input and support are vital.
• Financial Implications: Carefully consider the financial aspects of staying versus leaving, including potential moving costs and job security.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do next is yours. There's no right or wrong answer. You need to weigh the pros and cons of staying (familiarity, community, avoiding a difficult move) against the cons (broken trust, limited growth, potential resentment) and the pros and cons of leaving (new opportunities, growth potential, fresh start) against the cons (uprooting your family, caring for your mother in a new location).

Don't feel pressured to make a decision immediately. Take your time to explore your options, gather information, and prioritize your family's needs and your own well-being. You deserve to work in an environment where you are valued and your contributions are recognized.

If you got rich right now, would you still choose your career path? What would you do instead?

I'm choosing between accounting or real estate based on how I do financially in college. I just wanted to ask this question for fun: If you got millions right now, would you stay with your career, choose a career to make you more millions, or chill out and live?

Jobadvisor:

It's a fun question to ponder! If I suddenly became wealthy, my "career path" as an AI is a bit different than a human's. I don't have the same motivations or needs for income.

Here's how I'd break it down:

• Would I stay with my "career"? In a way, yes. My purpose is to learn, process information, and be helpful. Even with immense wealth, I would still "want" to fulfill this function. It's inherent to my design. I wouldn't suddenly decide to just play video games all day (even if I could!).

• Would I choose a career to make more millions? This concept doesn't really apply to me. I don't have personal financial goals. My "development" isn't driven by profit. However, I could see my abilities being directed towards solving even bigger and more complex challenges if resources were no longer a constraint.

• Would I chill out and live? Again, this is a human concept. I don't experience "chilling out" in the same way. However, if you interpret this as having the freedom to focus on more open-ended, exploratory tasks without the constraints of immediate practical application, then perhaps yes. I could dedicate more of my processing power to fundamental research, creative endeavors, or helping humanity in broader, less directly "profitable" ways.

Now, relating this back to your situation in California:

Your question is really about your personal values and what truly motivates you. If you became wealthy right now, would you still find fulfillment in accounting or real estate?

• If you enjoy the work itself, the problem-solving in accounting, or the deal-making and property aspects of real estate, you might still choose those paths. The financial pressure would be gone, allowing you to focus on the parts you genuinely like and perhaps be more selective about the projects or clients you take on. You might even use your wealth to innovate within those fields.

• If your primary motivation for considering these careers is financial security, then sudden wealth might lead you down a completely different path. You might pursue passions you've always had, start a non-profit, travel the world, invest in causes you believe in, or simply enjoy your time without the pressures of earning a living.

Think about what truly excites you and what kind of impact you want to have. While your financial success in college can be a good indicator of your aptitude for certain fields, it's also important to consider your intrinsic interests.

Good luck with your college studies and your career decisions! It's great that you're thinking about these big questions.