I accepted an offer and put in a formal resignation. Then my employer put in a massive counter offer. Should I stay?

 

I accepted an offer and put in a formal resignation. Then my employer put in a massive counter offer. Should I stay? Context below

I’ve been at this engineering firm for 6 years. There is a toxic work culture and some big egos but I make it work. There is a history of overworking and underpaying. I have kicked ass the entire time and have been recognized for my work. I have not been properly compensated but have been promised to eventually receive a promotion into an executive role. After being shut down in December when requesting a reasonable raise I applied to a competitor.

This competitor gave me a really nice offer and I accepted. Upon receiving my resignation I was offered an even larger counter offer with a “map” of my future positions and compensation. I’m tired of being there and want to move on but the counter offer is pretty wild.

Any advice? Haven’t slept in days. I feel lost. I can give numbers if necessary. Thank you!!

Jobadvisor:

This is a classic, and very stressful, career dilemma. Let's break down the situation and help you make a decision you won't regret.

Understanding the Dynamics:

• The Original Resignation: Your resignation stemmed from a perceived lack of value and a toxic work environment. These are significant issues that shouldn't be dismissed lightly.
• The Counter-Offer: Companies often react strongly to resignations from valuable employees. They may offer substantial financial incentives to retain them, even if they wouldn't have offered them otherwise.
• The "Map" of Future Positions: This is a common tactic to provide a sense of security and career progression. However, promises are not guarantees.

Key Considerations:

1. The Root Cause:
   • Ask yourself: Was the primary reason for leaving purely financial, or were there deeper issues related to the work environment?
   • Money can be a powerful motivator, but it rarely solves underlying problems.
   • Toxic cultures rarely change overnight. Are you confident that the promised changes will materialize?
2. Trust and Credibility:
   • Has your employer consistently demonstrated honesty and integrity?
   • Can you trust that the "map" of future positions will be followed through?
   • Consider the history of unfulfilled promises.
3. Your Long-Term Career Goals:
   • Does the competitor's offer align better with your long-term career aspirations?
   • Will the new role provide opportunities for growth and development that your current employer cannot offer?
4. The Impact on Your Reputation:
   • Be aware that reneging on an accepted offer can damage your reputation with the competitor.
   • However, if handled professionally and with transparency, the damage can be minimized.
5. The Risk of Future Resentment:
   • If you stay, will you resent your employer?
   • Will your coworkers resent you?
   • Will your employer resent your leverage?
6. Due Diligence on the competitor.
   • If you choose to move forward with the competitor, be sure to ask any and all questions you have. Verify the company culture, and double check any promises made.

Advice:

1. Don't Rush: Take your time to carefully evaluate both options. Don't make a decision based solely on emotion or financial incentives. Sleep on it.
2. Quantify the Offer: If you are willing, providing the numbers will enable a more precise answer.
3. Evaluate the "Map":
   • Request a detailed, written plan outlining the specific steps and timelines for your career progression.
   • Get clarity on the criteria for advancement and the potential obstacles.
4. Consider a Trial Period: If you decide to stay, negotiate a trial period (e.g., 3-6 months) to assess whether the promised changes materialize.
5. Prioritize Your Well-Being: Your mental and emotional health are paramount. Don't sacrifice your well-being for a job.
6. Have a candid conversation with both companies.
   • If you are leaning toward the competitor, explain the situation, and see if they are still interested.
   • If you are leaning toward your current employer, make it clear that you need to see real change.

In summary: While the counter-offer may be tempting, carefully weigh the long-term implications and prioritize your well-being. If the fundamental issues that led to your resignation remain unresolved, the extra money may not be worth it.

Applying for 8 months, still no job. May have to move back to my home country.

I have 5 months before my OPT expires and I have not secured any job yet. I'm not even close. Countless hours spent applying but all it leads to is an email saying ' We have found another candidate '. It's awful, frustrating and hopeless. I have a 100,000$ loan on my shoulders and a family back in India struggling financially. Their only hope was me, and I have failed them. On top of that my life here in the United States is no less than hell. There are days where I sleep hungry because i don't have enough to eat. The sponsors on whom guarantee I came here in the first place have refused to help me anymore. I know it's not allowed but I'm donating plasma to survive because I really have no choice. Going back to India would mean giving up on all those dreams my family has for me. I still need to pay 15,000$ tution fee and a 2500$ credit card loan on top of that. I don't know if i can earn enough to get out of this fast. It all seems like a steep climb. I see no way out. Help!!

Jobadvisor:

I understand that you're in an incredibly difficult situation, and it's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and hopeless right now. Facing job rejection, financial strain, and the pressure of supporting your family is a heavy burden. Please know that you're not alone, and there are resources and strategies that can help you navigate this.

Here's a breakdown of steps you can take:

1. Immediate Survival and Financial Stability:

• Food Resources:
  • Look into local food banks and pantries. Many communities offer free or low-cost food assistance. Search online for "food banks near me" or contact local charities.
  • Explore resources at your university or community college. They often have student support services that can provide food assistance.
• Housing Resources:
  • If possible, seek out shared housing or temporary accommodation to reduce costs.
  • If you're facing potential homelessness, contact local shelters or social service agencies for assistance.
• Financial Aid and Debt Management:
  • Contact your loan providers to discuss potential deferment or forbearance options. Explain your current financial hardship.
  • Explore debt consolidation or credit counseling services.
  • Prioritize essential expenses and cut back on non-essential spending.
  • Contact the credit card company to see if they have a hardship program.
• Continue Plasma Donation:
  • Continue this as needed, but prioritize your health. Ensure you are taking care of your nutritional needs.

2. Job Search Strategies:

• Refine Your Job Search:
  • Review your resume and cover letter. Tailor them to each job application, highlighting relevant skills and experiences.
  • Expand your job search beyond online applications. Network with people in your field, attend industry events, and reach out to alumni.
  • Consider internships or temporary positions to gain experience and make connections.
  • Explore remote work opportunities, which can broaden your search.
• OPT and Visa Considerations:
  • Consult with your university's international student office. They can provide guidance on OPT regulations and potential visa options.
  • Explore if there are any companies that have a history of sponsoring employees.
  • Be aware of the remaining time on your OPT and plan accordingly.
• Alternative Career Paths:
  • Consider exploring alternative career paths that align with your skills and experience.
  • Look into freelance or contract work, which can provide temporary income and build your portfolio.
  • Explore if there are any local staffing agencies that specialize in placing people in temp to perm positions.

3. Emotional and Mental Support:

• Mental Health Resources:
  • Seek out mental health counseling or support groups. Many universities and community organizations offer free or low-cost services.
  • Talk to trusted friends, family members, or mentors about your struggles.
• Community Support:
  • Connect with cultural or religious communities for support and guidance.
  • Reach out to Indian community organizations in your area. They may be able to provide resources and assistance.
• Managing Stress:
  • Practice stress-reduction techniques, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises.
  • Prioritize sleep and healthy eating habits.
  • Find healthy ways to release stress, such as exercise.

4. Addressing Family Expectations:

• Open and Honest Communication:
  • Have an open and honest conversation with your family about your current situation.
  • Explain the challenges you're facing and the steps you're taking to address them.
  • Emphasize that you're committed to their well-being and that you're working hard to find a solution.
• Reframe Expectations:
  • Help your family understand that success is not always linear and that setbacks are a part of life.
  • Focus on your strengths and resilience, and emphasize your determination to overcome these challenges.
  • Help them to understand the economic climate in the US is very difficult right now.

Key Resources:

• Your university's international student office.
• Local food banks and pantries.
• Mental health support services.
• Debt counseling services.
• Local Indian community centers.

It's important to remember that this is a temporary situation, and with persistence and support, you can overcome these challenges. Take things one step at a time, and prioritize your well-being.

Job rejection... how do you handle it when you think you did well?

Today I had a job interview. I scored 93% on the mathematical, mechanical and intellectual test | was even congratulate for getting one of the highest scores... I feel like I wasted 2hrs of my time anyways... Once you passed the test, then you have to do a 30 minute interview. I felt that the interview went pretty well, it was straightforward and direct. My résumé isn't the best but it's enough in my opinion. I've only had three jobs in my whole life. I've put all my accomplishments and skills... gave every possible political company answer that you can think of... safety, integrity accountability even answer DEl question pretty well "being Hispanic myself". I even went out of my way to message the HR lady if I can get the questions and answers to interview so I can improve on my behavioral based interviews. She said no… she said Sorry, I am unable to share the questions. I suggest you make some notes now while it is fresh in your mind to the best of your recollection. I really wanna know what I said wrong or what l need to improve on. On the bright side, she did say I can apply back in six months without taking the test, but I don't think | will. If anyone wants to see my résumé, l'll send it to you and you can let me know on what it needs improvements on. good luck out there👍

Jobadvisor:

It's incredibly frustrating to get rejected after feeling like you aced a significant portion of the process, especially when you have objective data like a 93% test score to back it up. It's completely understandable to feel like your time was wasted. Here's a breakdown of how to process this, and some strategies for moving forward:

1. Acknowledge and Process Your Emotions:

• Allow yourself to feel the disappointment: Don't try to brush it off. It's okay to feel frustrated, angry, or sad. Acknowledge those feelings.
• Avoid self-blame: While it's natural to analyze what you could have done differently, try not to fall into a spiral of self-criticism. You did well on the test, and you felt the interview went smoothly. There are often factors beyond your control.
• Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them and gain clarity.

2. Analyze What You Can Control:

• Interview Feedback (Even Without the Questions):
  • Since you can't get the exact questions, try to reconstruct them as best you can. Write down the questions you remember and your answers.
  • Reflect on your tone, body language, and overall demeanor. Did you come across as confident, enthusiastic, and genuine?
  • Did you give specific examples to back up your claims? The STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) is often helpful for behavioral questions.
  • Even though the HR person would not give you the questions, try to recall if there was any question that you hesitate on or that you felt that you did not give a complete answer.
• Resume Review:
  • You offered to share your resume, which is a great idea. Getting feedback from others can provide valuable insights. Focus on:
    • Clarity and conciseness: Is your resume easy to read and understand?
    • Quantifiable achievements: Did you use numbers and data to demonstrate your impact?
    • Keywords: Does your resume include relevant keywords for the job you're applying for?
    • Formatting: Is the layout clean, easy to read, and professional?
• Consider External Factors:
  • Sometimes, the best candidate doesn't get the job. There could be internal candidates, budget constraints, or other factors you're unaware of.
  • The "fit" factor: Sometimes, it's simply a matter of personality or cultural fit. It doesn't mean you're not qualified.

3. Moving Forward:

• Don't Give Up: Job searching can be a long and challenging process. One rejection doesn't define your worth or potential.
• Learn and Grow: Use this experience as an opportunity to improve your interview skills and resume.
• Expand Your Network: Connect with people in your industry on LinkedIn or at networking events.
• Keep Applying: Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Continue applying for other positions.
• Reconsider Applying in Six Months: While you're hesitant now, six months can bring significant changes. You might have gained new skills or experience, and the company's needs may have changed.
• Consider a mock interview: Find a friend or family member that is willing to do a mock interview with you. This can help you to see what you may be missing.

Regarding your offer to share your resume:

• If you're comfortable, sharing your resume with trusted individuals or career advisors can provide valuable feedback.

Remember, job rejection is a common experience. It's how you handle it that matters. Use this as a learning opportunity, and keep moving forward. You've got this!

Laid Off Since October – Confidence Hit Hard, Feeling Lost Despite Experience

Hi all,

I’ve been actively job searching since being laid off back in October due to company-wide cuts. I live in NYC and hold an MBA from a top-20 business school with 10 years of experience across Financial Services and Management Consulting. My background spans Product Management, Operations, Sales Enablement, and Go-to-Market strategy.

Since the layoff, I’ve made it to final rounds at a few companies but wasn’t selected. On top of that, I had two offers from consulting firms rescinded due to DOGE cuts and broader headcount reductions. It’s been really tough.

What’s hit me the hardest, though, is the toll this has taken on my confidence. I used to be someone who was outgoing, fun to be around, and sharp in conversations. Now I find myself second-guessing everything I say, mumbling over my words, and just not feeling like myself anymore—especially in social settings.

I’m still networking, applying, and prepping hard, but the rejection and uncertainty are starting to wear me down.

For those of you who’ve gone through something similar:

• How did you rebuild your confidence and sense of self?

• What helped you stay motivated and keep going during a long job search?

• Are there any resources, recruiters, or forums you found helpful, especially in the NYC area?

Just feeling pretty stuck right now and could use some encouragement or guidance. Thanks in advance.

Jobadvisor:

It's completely understandable that you're feeling lost and that your confidence has taken a hit after such a prolonged job search and multiple setbacks. Layoffs, especially after a successful career, can be incredibly destabilizing. Here's a breakdown of how to address your concerns and rebuild your confidence:

1. Acknowledge and Process Your Emotions:

• Don't suppress your feelings: It's okay to feel frustrated, angry, sad, and anxious. Allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment.
• Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings. This can help you process them and gain clarity.
• Talk to someone: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your experiences can provide emotional support and perspective.

2. Rebuild Your Confidence and Sense of Self:

• Focus on your accomplishments: Create a list of your past achievements and successes. Remind yourself of your skills and experience.
• Small wins: Set small, achievable goals to build momentum and a sense of accomplishment. This could be anything from completing a course to networking with a specific number of people.
• Self-care: Prioritize your physical and mental well-being. Exercise, eat healthy, get enough sleep, and engage in activities you enjoy.
• Positive affirmations: Practice positive self-talk. Remind yourself of your strengths and abilities.
• Skill Refinement: Take online courses on topics that interest you, or improve current skills. This will give you a sense of accomplishment, and make you more marketable.
• Mock Interviews: Practice interviewing with friends, mentors, or career coaches. This can help you regain confidence in your communication skills.
• Body language: Practice good posture and eye contact. This can help you project confidence, even if you don't feel it.

3. Maintain Motivation and Persistence:

• Set a schedule: Treat your job search like a job. Allocate specific time each day for networking, applying, and prepping.
• Celebrate small victories: Acknowledge and celebrate every milestone, no matter how small.
• Stay connected: Continue networking, even if you're feeling discouraged. Attend industry events, connect with people on LinkedIn, and reach out to your network for support.
• Diversify your approach: Explore different job search strategies. Consider contract work, freelance projects, or consulting opportunities.
• Reframing rejection: Try to view rejection as feedback, not failure. Analyze what you could have done differently and use it as an opportunity to improve.
• Remember the Market: Understand that the market is difficult, and that you are not alone in having a hard time.

4. Resources and Networking in NYC:

• Networking Groups:
  • Alumni networks from your MBA program.
  • Industry-specific networking groups on Meetup.com.
  • Professional organizations in the Financial Services and Management Consulting sectors.
• Recruiters:
  • Reach out to recruiters specializing in your industry. Focus on those with a strong presence in NYC.
  • Use LinkedIn Recruiter to identify and connect with recruiters.
• Online Forums and Communities:
  • LinkedIn groups related to your industry.
  • Reddit communities related to job searching and career advice.
  • Online forums for MBA graduates.
• Career Services:
  • Your MBA program's career services office can provide valuable resources and support.
  • Consider working with a career coach specializing in executive job searches.
• NYC Specific Resources:
  • Explore resources provided by the NYC Department of Small Business Services, which may have job search and career development programs.
  • Attend industry events and conferences held in NYC.

5. Dealing with Rescinded Offers:

• Document everything: Keep records of all communication and agreements.
• Seek legal advice: If you believe the rescission was unfair or discriminatory, consult with an employment lawyer.
• Don't take it personally: Understand that rescinded offers are often due to factors beyond your control.
• Use it as a learning experience: Analyze what you could have done differently in the negotiation process.

Key Takeaways:

• Your feelings are valid.
• Rebuilding confidence takes time and effort.
• Persistence and networking are crucial.
• Utilize available resources and support systems.

Remember, you have a strong background and valuable experience. The current job market is challenging, but with persistence and a positive mindset, you will find the right opportunity.