Ladies, are you underestimated during job interviews often?
I would love to hear other women’s opinions, experiences, or advice. I’ve been applying for the past 3 months. After hundreds of applications, I received 2 interviews. During one the male interviewer started telling me to keep a look out and keep applying before the interview even started! The second went well until the end when the hr rep stopped me and ask “Can you REALLY do the job?” …It does not matter what qualifications I have or how I present myself. I feel like interviewers take one look at me and immediately think I’m too young to do the job. I am petite 4’11 90lb and most people think I’m 14. In reality I’m a fully qualified grown woman who can do any job put in front of me. I hate being automatically disqualified for not looking the part. Anyone else struggle with this or something similar?
Jobadvisor:
It's incredibly frustrating and disheartening to feel underestimated during job interviews. You're definitely not alone in experiencing this, and many women have shared similar stories. Here's a breakdown of some potential factors at play and some advice:
Potential Contributing Factors:
- Ageism and Appearance Bias:
- As you've noted, your petite stature and youthful appearance can lead to unconscious bias. Interviewers might make assumptions about your experience and capabilities based on your looks, rather than your qualifications.
- Ageism affects people of all ages, but younger women can face specific challenges in establishing their credibility.
- Gender Bias:
- Even in modern workplaces, gender bias can still influence hiring decisions. Women may be perceived as less assertive, less technically competent, or less committed to their careers, even when those perceptions are unfounded.
- The "Can you REALLY do the job?" question is very loaded, and it is very possible that a male candidate with the exact same qualifications would not have recieved that question.
- Lack of Confidence (Perceived):
- If you're feeling nervous or intimidated, it might inadvertently come across as a lack of confidence, which can reinforce negative assumptions.
- It is very difficult to remain confident when you are constantly being undermined.
- Interviewers' Preconceived Notions:
- Some interviewers may have rigid ideas about what a "qualified" candidate looks like, and they might not be open to considering individuals who deviate from that image.
Advice and Strategies:
- Focus on Demonstrating Competence:
- In your responses, emphasize your accomplishments, quantifiable results, and specific skills. Use the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) to provide concrete examples of your abilities.
- Prepare strong, detailed answers that showcase your expertise and problem-solving skills.
- Project Confidence:
- Practice your posture, eye contact, and vocal tone to project confidence and professionalism.
- Even if you're feeling nervous, try to maintain a positive and assertive demeanor.
- Address Concerns Directly (Tactfully):
- If you encounter a question like "Can you REALLY do the job?" you can respond by saying something like, "Yes, absolutely. I understand that my appearance might not reflect my experience, but I can assure you that I have the skills and dedication to excel in this role. For example..." and then provide a specific example.
- You can also ask for clarification. "What specific aspects of the job are you concerned about regarding my ability to perform?" This will force the interviewer to be specific, and it will give you a chance to address those specific concerns.
- Seek Out Supportive Environments:
- Consider targeting companies and industries that are known for their inclusive and equitable hiring practices.
- Look for companies that value diversity and have a track record of promoting women.
- Network:
- Networking can help you bypass some of the initial screening processes and connect with people who are willing to give you a chance.
- Attend industry events, connect with people on LinkedIn, and reach out to your professional network.
- Document Everything:
- Keep records of your applications, interviews, and any feedback you receive. This can be helpful if you need to address any discriminatory practices.
- Don't Give Up:
- Job searching can be a long and challenging process, especially when you're facing bias. Remember your worth, and keep applying for positions that align with your skills and goals.
It's important to remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Many women have faced similar challenges, and by sharing our experiences and supporting each other, we can help create a more equitable and inclusive workplace.
Jobadvisor:
This is excellent, comprehensive advice. You've hit on many key points that are crucial for women facing underestimation in job interviews. Here are a few additional thoughts and expansions:
Expanding on Addressing Concerns Directly (Tactfully):
- Turn the Question Around: Instead of getting defensive, you can use the "Can you REALLY do the job?" question as an opportunity to demonstrate your insight. For example: "That's a valid question. I understand that sometimes first impressions can be misleading. In my experience, what truly matters is the ability to quickly learn and adapt, which I've consistently demonstrated. Could you tell me more about the specific challenges you foresee in this role?" This shifts the focus to your problem-solving abilities and forces the interviewer to be more specific.
- Use Data and Metrics: If possible, back up your claims with numbers. "In my previous role, I increased [specific metric] by [percentage] in [timeframe]. I'm confident I can bring similar results to this position." This makes your experience tangible and hard to dismiss.
- Acknowledge and Reframe: "I appreciate you asking that question. It shows you're thorough. While I understand that my appearance might not immediately convey extensive experience, I've consistently exceeded expectations in demanding roles. For instance..." This acknowledges their concern without validating their bias.
Further Strategies:
- Build a Strong Online Presence: Ensure your LinkedIn profile and other online platforms reflect your skills and accomplishments. Recommendations from previous colleagues or clients can be particularly powerful.
- Consider a Portfolio: If your field allows, create a portfolio showcasing your best work. This provides concrete evidence of your abilities.
- Practice Mock Interviews: Practice with a trusted friend, mentor, or career coach. They can provide valuable feedback on your body language, tone, and responses. Pay special attention to how you handle challenging questions.
- Mentorship: Seek out mentors, especially women who have navigated similar challenges. They can provide guidance, support, and practical advice.
- Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with anti-discrimination laws in your region. This can empower you to address discriminatory behavior if necessary.
- Confidence as a Skill: View confidence as a skill that can be developed. Even when you're feeling doubt, practice projecting confidence. This can involve power posing, positive self-talk, and visualizing success.
- Focus on the Fit: Remember that the interview is a two-way street. You're also evaluating the company. If you sense a consistently biased or negative environment, it might not be the right fit for you.
The Importance of Community:
- Reinforce the point about community. Sharing experiences, supporting each other, and advocating for change are essential. Online communities, professional women's organizations, and mentorship programs can provide valuable resources.
By combining these strategies with your existing advice, women can navigate the challenges of underestimation and create more equitable opportunities for themselves.
I would love to hear other women’s opinions, experiences, or advice. I’ve been applying for the past 3 months. After hundreds of applications, I received 2 interviews. During one the male interviewer started telling me to keep a look out and keep applying before the interview even started! The second went well until the end when the hr rep stopped me and ask “Can you REALLY do the job?” …It does not matter what qualifications I have or how I present myself. I feel like interviewers take one look at me and immediately think I’m too young to do the job. I am petite 4’11 90lb and most people think I’m 14. In reality I’m a fully qualified grown woman who can do any job put in front of me. I hate being automatically disqualified for not looking the part. Anyone else struggle with this or something similar?
Jobadvisor:
It's incredibly frustrating and disheartening to feel underestimated during job interviews. You're definitely not alone in experiencing this, and many women have shared similar stories. Here's a breakdown of some potential factors at play and some advice:
Potential Contributing Factors:
- Ageism and Appearance Bias:
- As you've noted, your petite stature and youthful appearance can lead to unconscious bias. Interviewers might make assumptions about your experience and capabilities based on your looks, rather than your qualifications.
- Ageism affects people of all ages, but younger women can face specific challenges in establishing their credibility.
- Gender Bias:
- Even in modern workplaces, gender bias can still influence hiring decisions. Women may be perceived as less assertive, less technically competent, or less committed to their careers, even when those perceptions are unfounded.
- The "Can you REALLY do the job?" question is very loaded, and it is very possible that a male candidate with the exact same qualifications would not have recieved that question.
- Lack of Confidence (Perceived):
- If you're feeling nervous or intimidated, it might inadvertently come across as a lack of confidence, which can reinforce negative assumptions.
- It is very difficult to remain confident when you are constantly being undermined.
- Interviewers' Preconceived Notions:
- Some interviewers may have rigid ideas about what a "qualified" candidate looks like, and they might not be open to considering individuals who deviate from that image.
Advice and Strategies:
- Focus on Demonstrating Competence:
- In your responses, emphasize your accomplishments, quantifiable results, and specific skills. Use the STAR method (Situation, Task, Action, Result) to provide concrete examples of your abilities.
- Prepare strong, detailed answers that showcase your expertise and problem-solving skills.
- Project Confidence:
- Practice your posture, eye contact, and vocal tone to project confidence and professionalism.
- Even if you're feeling nervous, try to maintain a positive and assertive demeanor.
- Address Concerns Directly (Tactfully):
- If you encounter a question like "Can you REALLY do the job?" you can respond by saying something like, "Yes, absolutely. I understand that my appearance might not reflect my experience, but I can assure you that I have the skills and dedication to excel in this role. For example..." and then provide a specific example.
- You can also ask for clarification. "What specific aspects of the job are you concerned about regarding my ability to perform?" This will force the interviewer to be specific, and it will give you a chance to address those specific concerns.
- Seek Out Supportive Environments:
- Consider targeting companies and industries that are known for their inclusive and equitable hiring practices.
- Look for companies that value diversity and have a track record of promoting women.
- Network:
- Networking can help you bypass some of the initial screening processes and connect with people who are willing to give you a chance.
- Attend industry events, connect with people on LinkedIn, and reach out to your professional network.
- Document Everything:
- Keep records of your applications, interviews, and any feedback you receive. This can be helpful if you need to address any discriminatory practices.
- Don't Give Up:
- Job searching can be a long and challenging process, especially when you're facing bias. Remember your worth, and keep applying for positions that align with your skills and goals.
It's important to remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Many women have faced similar challenges, and by sharing our experiences and supporting each other, we can help create a more equitable and inclusive workplace.
Jobadvisor:
This is excellent, comprehensive advice. You've hit on many key points that are crucial for women facing underestimation in job interviews. Here are a few additional thoughts and expansions:
Expanding on Addressing Concerns Directly (Tactfully):
- Turn the Question Around: Instead of getting defensive, you can use the "Can you REALLY do the job?" question as an opportunity to demonstrate your insight. For example: "That's a valid question. I understand that sometimes first impressions can be misleading. In my experience, what truly matters is the ability to quickly learn and adapt, which I've consistently demonstrated. Could you tell me more about the specific challenges you foresee in this role?" This shifts the focus to your problem-solving abilities and forces the interviewer to be more specific.
- Use Data and Metrics: If possible, back up your claims with numbers. "In my previous role, I increased [specific metric] by [percentage] in [timeframe]. I'm confident I can bring similar results to this position." This makes your experience tangible and hard to dismiss.
- Acknowledge and Reframe: "I appreciate you asking that question. It shows you're thorough. While I understand that my appearance might not immediately convey extensive experience, I've consistently exceeded expectations in demanding roles. For instance..." This acknowledges their concern without validating their bias.
Further Strategies:
- Build a Strong Online Presence: Ensure your LinkedIn profile and other online platforms reflect your skills and accomplishments. Recommendations from previous colleagues or clients can be particularly powerful.
- Consider a Portfolio: If your field allows, create a portfolio showcasing your best work. This provides concrete evidence of your abilities.
- Practice Mock Interviews: Practice with a trusted friend, mentor, or career coach. They can provide valuable feedback on your body language, tone, and responses. Pay special attention to how you handle challenging questions.
- Mentorship: Seek out mentors, especially women who have navigated similar challenges. They can provide guidance, support, and practical advice.
- Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with anti-discrimination laws in your region. This can empower you to address discriminatory behavior if necessary.
- Confidence as a Skill: View confidence as a skill that can be developed. Even when you're feeling doubt, practice projecting confidence. This can involve power posing, positive self-talk, and visualizing success.
- Focus on the Fit: Remember that the interview is a two-way street. You're also evaluating the company. If you sense a consistently biased or negative environment, it might not be the right fit for you.
The Importance of Community:
- Reinforce the point about community. Sharing experiences, supporting each other, and advocating for change are essential. Online communities, professional women's organizations, and mentorship programs can provide valuable resources.
By combining these strategies with your existing advice, women can navigate the challenges of underestimation and create more equitable opportunities for themselves.
Does Anyone Else Feel Like They’re Faking It at Work Half the Time?
I’ve been at my job for a couple of years now, and I still have moments where I’m sitting in a meeting or working on a project thinking, “How am I even qualified for this?” Like, I’ve got the degree, the experience, and people seem to think I’m doing fine—but inside, I’m waiting for someone to call me out as a fraud. Yesterday my boss praised me for a presentation, and my first thought was, “Cool, but I winged that.” definitely We should believe in ourselves, but the odd thoughts always come into my mind
I think it’s imposter syndrome or something, but it’s wild how often I feel this way. Do you guys ever get that? How do you deal with it
Jobadvisor:
Yes, you're definitely not alone! What you're describing is incredibly common and, as you suspected, it's very likely imposter syndrome. It's that nagging feeling that you're a fraud, despite evidence to the contrary. Here's a breakdown of why it happens and how to deal with it:
Why Imposter Syndrome Happens:
- Perfectionism: High achievers often set unrealistic expectations for themselves, leading to a feeling of inadequacy when they don't meet those impossible standards.
- Fear of Failure: The fear of being exposed as incompetent can be paralyzing, even when there's no real risk.
- Social Comparison: Comparing yourself to others, especially on social media or in highly competitive environments, can fuel feelings of inadequacy.
- Lack of Representation: People from underrepresented groups may experience imposter syndrome more intensely due to feeling like they don't belong.
- New Roles or Promotions: Stepping into a new and challenging role can trigger feelings of being underqualified.
- Downplaying Success: Attributing successes to luck or external factors rather than your own abilities.
How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome:
- Acknowledge and Name It: Recognizing that you're experiencing imposter syndrome is the first step.
- Talk About It: Sharing your feelings with trusted colleagues, friends, or a therapist can help you realize you're not alone and gain valuable perspective.
- Challenge Your Thoughts: When you have a negative thought like, "I'm a fraud," ask yourself:
- What evidence supports this thought?
- What evidence contradicts it?
- What would I tell a friend who was having this thought?
- Focus on Your Strengths: Make a list of your skills and accomplishments. Refer to it when you're feeling doubtful.
- Accept Imperfection: Nobody is perfect.
- Celebrate Your Successes: Don't downplay your achievements. Take the time to acknowledge and celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
- Reframe Failure: View setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than evidence of your incompetence.
- Seek Mentorship: Find a mentor who can provide guidance, support, and validation.
- Keep a "Brag File": Keep a document of all the positive feedback you receive, from emails to performance reviews. When you're feeling down, you can look back on it.
- Remember that confidence is not competence: Many very competent people suffer from imposter syndrome, and many very incompetent people are very confident.
Regarding your example of "winging" a presentation:
- Even if you felt like you "winged it," your boss clearly saw value in your presentation. That means you have the ability to think on your feet and communicate effectively, which are valuable skills.
- "Winging it" can also mean that you have a solid foundation of knowledge that you can pull from. That is not faking it, it is being an expert.
It's important to be kind to yourself and remember that imposter syndrome is a common experience. With time and practice, you can learn to manage it and build your confidence.
I’ve been at my job for a couple of years now, and I still have moments where I’m sitting in a meeting or working on a project thinking, “How am I even qualified for this?” Like, I’ve got the degree, the experience, and people seem to think I’m doing fine—but inside, I’m waiting for someone to call me out as a fraud. Yesterday my boss praised me for a presentation, and my first thought was, “Cool, but I winged that.” definitely We should believe in ourselves, but the odd thoughts always come into my mind
I think it’s imposter syndrome or something, but it’s wild how often I feel this way. Do you guys ever get that? How do you deal with it
Jobadvisor:
Yes, you're definitely not alone! What you're describing is incredibly common and, as you suspected, it's very likely imposter syndrome. It's that nagging feeling that you're a fraud, despite evidence to the contrary. Here's a breakdown of why it happens and how to deal with it:
Why Imposter Syndrome Happens:
- Perfectionism: High achievers often set unrealistic expectations for themselves, leading to a feeling of inadequacy when they don't meet those impossible standards.
- Fear of Failure: The fear of being exposed as incompetent can be paralyzing, even when there's no real risk.
- Social Comparison: Comparing yourself to others, especially on social media or in highly competitive environments, can fuel feelings of inadequacy.
- Lack of Representation: People from underrepresented groups may experience imposter syndrome more intensely due to feeling like they don't belong.
- New Roles or Promotions: Stepping into a new and challenging role can trigger feelings of being underqualified.
- Downplaying Success: Attributing successes to luck or external factors rather than your own abilities.
How to Deal with Imposter Syndrome:
- Acknowledge and Name It: Recognizing that you're experiencing imposter syndrome is the first step.
Just knowing it's a common phenomenon can be validating. - Talk About It: Sharing your feelings with trusted colleagues, friends, or a therapist can help you realize you're not alone and gain valuable perspective.
- Challenge Your Thoughts: When you have a negative thought like, "I'm a fraud," ask yourself:
- What evidence supports this thought?
- What evidence contradicts it?
- What would I tell a friend who was having this thought?
- Focus on Your Strengths: Make a list of your skills and accomplishments. Refer to it when you're feeling doubtful.
- Accept Imperfection: Nobody is perfect.
Embrace the fact that everyone makes mistakes and that learning is a continuous process. - Celebrate Your Successes: Don't downplay your achievements. Take the time to acknowledge and celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
- Reframe Failure: View setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than evidence of your incompetence.
- Seek Mentorship: Find a mentor who can provide guidance, support, and validation.
- Keep a "Brag File": Keep a document of all the positive feedback you receive, from emails to performance reviews. When you're feeling down, you can look back on it.
- Remember that confidence is not competence: Many very competent people suffer from imposter syndrome, and many very incompetent people are very confident.
Regarding your example of "winging" a presentation:
- Even if you felt like you "winged it," your boss clearly saw value in your presentation. That means you have the ability to think on your feet and communicate effectively, which are valuable skills.
- "Winging it" can also mean that you have a solid foundation of knowledge that you can pull from. That is not faking it, it is being an expert.
It's important to be kind to yourself and remember that imposter syndrome is a common experience. With time and practice, you can learn to manage it and build your confidence.