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All of my co-workers are allowed to WFH except me
Context: I am working in a small administrative team within a large company. Basically, my team only needs a computer with an internet connection to complete our work. Additionally, we all do the exact same job and have the same title. I have been with this company for 5+ years and all my current colleagues have only been here for about 3 years. I transitioned to this current department almost 2 years ago.
My four co-workers are all working from home full time. However, our manager refuses to let me WFH without giving a real explanation. Each time I asked, I get different answers such as "they were hired during COVID" (which is not fully true as they were hired in 2023 and hybrid scheduling was enforced), and "that's just life sometimes". I will note that my manager has me send summary emails about the office concerns I have with how they affect my work and example accommodations. To date, I have sent 3 different emails, and before sending each email, my manager verbally asks to not include their senior manager or HR in the email CC. My manager has never replied to these summary emails.
I have been looking into the ADA and am thinking about bringing this up to HR myself. How would I approach HR in this situation without my manager thinking I'm going being their back?
Finding a new job is not an option right now. Plus, I enjoy the work I do, I just cannot concentrate with the noisy office anymore.
Jobadvisor
This is a frustrating and frankly bizarre situation. Having the same title and duties as your peers while being the only one tethered to a desk feels less like a policy and more like being singled out.
The "don't CC my boss or HR" request is a massive red flag. It suggests your manager knows their refusal might not hold up under scrutiny or contradicts company-wide equity policies.
Since you mentioned the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) and noise sensitivity, you are moving from a "request" to a "formal accommodation." Here is how to handle HR while protecting your professional standing.
1. The Reality Check: You ARE going behind their back
Let's be candid: You cannot involve HR without your manager feeling like you went over their head. However, your manager has left you no choice by:
Providing inconsistent logic.
Refusing to reply to emails (avoiding a paper trail).
Explicitly gatekeeping access to HR/Senior Management.
The goal isn't to do this "secretly," but to do it formally. When you frame this as a medical accommodation (ADA), it stops being a "dispute with a boss" and starts being a "legal compliance process."
2. How to Approach HR
Don't frame it as a complaint about your boss’s unfairness. Frame it as a request for a Reasonable Accommodation due to a documented need (concentration/noise issues).
The Script for HR:
"I am reaching out to formally begin the interactive process for a reasonable accommodation under the ADA. I have been experiencing significant challenges with the office environment that impact my ability to perform my core duties. Given that my entire team currently works successfully from home, I would like to discuss WFH as a proven accommodation for my role."
3. Managing the Manager
Once you contact HR, they will eventually notify your manager. To soften the blow and maintain your "team player" image, you can send your manager a brief, matter-of-fact heads-up:
"Hi [Manager Name], as we’ve discussed my concerns regarding the office environment and my productivity several times, I decided to reach out to HR to see what formal support or ADA accommodations are available to help me perform at my best. I wanted to keep you in the loop as they begin their process."
Strategic Move: The "Paper Trail" Preparation
Before you hit send to HR, gather your evidence. Since your manager won't reply to emails, you need to create your own record:
| Item | Importance |
| Sent Emails | Save copies of those 3 summary emails you sent (with timestamps). |
| Peer Comparison | Note that 100% of your peers with the same job description work remotely. |
| Performance Reviews | Have your last 2 years of "meets/exceeds expectations" ready to prove your performance isn't the issue. |
| Medical Documentation | Have a letter from your doctor or specialist ready that explains why a quiet environment is necessary for your specific condition. |
Why the ADA angle works
By invoking the ADA, you shift the burden of proof. Under the ADA, if WFH is a "reasonable accommodation" and doesn't cause "undue hardship" to the company, they generally must grant it. Since your four colleagues already do the job from home, the company will find it nearly impossible to argue that your absence from the office causes "undue hardship."
Sign-on Bonus Reneged
A recruiter reached out to me months ago in regard to a rare job opportunity at a well known, well funded hospital. The next day I saw a post on LinkedIn from another recruiter about the same job and that the hospital was offering a 15K sign-on bonus. I took a screen shot and sent it to the recruiter I was in contact with asking if I would be eligible for the sign-on bonus. They responded back to the email and confirmed that I would absolutely eligible for the 15K sign-on bonus.
Fast-forward two interviews later and the hospital offered me the job. They wanted me to go through the official process and submit an application to which I did and on the job application, at the top of the job description it again states “15K sign-on bonus”.
Yesterday, I spoke with an HR rep from the hospitals to go over all of the benefits, pay, etc. When I asked how the 15K sign-on bonus works, she responded: “Oh, you’re not eligible for the sign-on bonus because you worked with a recruiter. That is only for new hires that do not go through a recruiting agency that the hospital hires.” Their reason being that they pay the recruiter a large sum (20% of my first year‘s salary) to find a candidate. I told her that the recruiter confirmed that I was eligible for the sign-on bonus back in early December before I even interviewed for the job. She said she would have to confirm before sending me an official offer letter.
After we hung up, I confirmed once again with the recruiter that I am eligible. I asked them to follow up with HR at the hospital. I also sent screen shots of the hospital job posting, the LinkedIn post from another recruiter and forwarded the email (from before the first interview) to HR Rep. Thankfully I had this all in writing!
My question is, if HR comes back and tells me that I’m not eligible, how can I handle this without losing the opportunity? I want to stand firm, but not offend. I mean, that’s a big carrot to dangle in front of someone’s face and then not let them have it.
Any advice appreciated!
Jobadvisor
This is a classic case of "the left hand not talking to the right hand." The hospital is trying to offset the recruiter’s commission by cutting your bonus, but legally and professionally, that isn't your problem—especially since you have a documented paper trail.
Since you want the job but refuse to be shortchanged $15,000, you need to pivot the conversation from a conflict to a correction of an administrative error.
Here is how to handle HR if they come back with a "No."
1. The "Mutual Misunderstanding" Reframe
If the HR rep calls and says you aren't eligible, do not get angry. Instead, treat it as if they are simply mistaken about the facts.
What to say:
"I understand there might be some internal confusion regarding the recruiting fees, but the sign-on bonus was a core component of the total compensation package I agreed to when I entered the interview process. It was confirmed in writing by the recruiter and was explicitly listed on the application I submitted. I accepted the interview and moved through the process based on those specific terms."
2. Focus on the "Inducement"
In Pennsylvania (and most states), if an employer induces you to apply or stay in a process based on a specific financial promise, reneging on that promise at the offer stage is considered "bad faith" negotiating.
Key Point to Mention:
"The sign-on bonus was prominently displayed on the job posting and confirmed via email before my first interview. At no point was it disclosed—either in the posting or by the recruiter—that working with an agency would void that bonus. Had I known that, I would have addressed it months ago before we all invested time in the interview process."
3. Proposed Compromises (The "Soft" Stand)
If they remain firm that they "can't" do the sign-on bonus because of the agency fee, offer them a way to save face while still getting you your money.
The Salary Bump: "If the sign-on bonus is a hurdle due to the one-time agency fee, I’m open to folding that $15,000 into my base salary. This would bridge the gap in the total first-year compensation we initially discussed."
The Retention Bonus: "If the sign-on bonus is the issue, perhaps we can structure it as a 'Retention Bonus' paid out at the 6-month or 1-year mark. This keeps me at the total compensation level I was promised while helping you manage the immediate budget."
4. Leverage the Recruiter
The recruiter is actually your biggest ally here. Why? Because if you don’t take the job, they don’t get their 20% commission. Contact the recruiter and be very clear:
"I love this role, but I feel incredibly uncomfortable starting a relationship with a hospital that reneges on written financial terms before day one. If HR doesn't honor the $15k, I’m not sure I can move forward with this offer."
The recruiter will likely call HR and fight tooth and nail to get that bonus approved so they don't lose their massive commission.
Summary of your "Paper Trail"
You are in a strong position because you have:
The Screenshot of the LinkedIn post.
The Email from the recruiter confirming eligibility.
The Application itself listing the bonus.
A quick reality check: If a well-funded hospital is willing to sour a relationship with a "rare" candidate over $15k (a drop in the bucket for their budget), it is a major signal of how they treat employees. Standing firm isn't "offensive"—it's professional.
41 and totally lost
For the past 6 months I’ve been out of work. I (41f) have ran a food business for the past 14 years and closed it down last year due to rising costs but really I was burnt out too.
I’ve never had a career outside of the business I ran, I got a degree in journalism two decades ago which I never used aside from some freelancing immediately after college. I created food content for an instagram account that was pretty popular for years doing all the photography and recipe creation while I ran my business but other than that I really haven’t done anything. I had a food business, I made condiments and sauces and that type of packaged food.
I feel really hopeless and I have no idea what I’m going to do next. I read a lot of subs on jobs and careers here and I just feel so pathetic and like I wasted my life. I went to law school at one point in my 20s but dropped out in the last year to go to culinary school which was one of the stupidest decisions of my life. Everyone in my life is telling me to go back to school and get a professional degree in something but doing that in my 40s isn’t something I am jumping at and I don’t even know what I would want to study.
I feel essentially unemployable because I spent over a decade making bottled sauces and not thinking about my future, especially at my age with nothing on my resume but my business. The anxiety of not knowing what to do is paralyzing me and I can’t figure a way forward.
What would you do in my situation? I know people here suggest trades a lot but I’m a petite woman and that wouldn’t work. Any advice at all would help, starting over is terrifying.
Jobadvisor
First, take a deep breath. You are feeling "pathetic" and "unemployable" because you are viewing your history through the lens of burnout, not reality.
From an objective hiring perspective, you didn't just "make sauce" for 14 years. You were a Founder and CEO who managed supply chains, product development, digital marketing, and operations for over a decade. Most people couldn't survive one year in the food industry; you survived fourteen.
Here is how I would navigate this if I were in your shoes.
1. Reframe the "Stupid" Decisions
You mentioned dropping out of law school for culinary school was a mistake. While it might feel that way financially, it proves you have high-level analytical capability (law school) and creative technical skill (culinary).
You aren't a "failed student"; you are a person with a rare blend of "left-brain" logic and "right-brain" execution. Stop mourning the lawyer you didn't become and start looking at the executive you actually are.
2. Leverage Your "Phantom" Skills
You have a degree in Journalism and a history of successful Instagram content. In the modern job market, these aren't hobbies—they are high-value professional assets.
| What you think you did | What a recruiter sees |
| Made sauces | Product Development & Quality Control |
| Ran a business for 14 years | Operational Management & P&L Ownership |
| Popular Instagram account | Social Media Strategy & Content Marketing |
| Photography/Recipes | Creative Direction & Brand Identity |
3. Potential Career Paths (No New Degree Needed)
Going back to school at 41 when you’re already paralyzed by anxiety is a recipe for more burnout. Instead, look at "Pivot Industries" where your 14 years of experience actually count as seniority:
CPG (Consumer Packaged Goods) Management: Companies like Nestlé, Kraft, or even smaller boutique brands need people who understand how to get a bottle from a kitchen to a shelf. Look for "Associate Brand Manager" or "Operations Coordinator" roles.
Content Strategy for Food Tech: Think companies like HelloFresh, Blue Apron, or NYT Cooking. They need people who can write, photograph, and understand the chemistry of food.
Project Management: Your ability to juggle vendors, costs, and production is exactly what PMs do. A simple PMP certification (a few months of study) is much cheaper and faster than a new degree.
Purchasing or Procurement: You know how to source ingredients and negotiate with suppliers. Every manufacturing company needs this.
4. The Immediate Action Plan
To stop the paralysis, we need to move from "existential crisis" to "tactical tasks."
Stop reading career subreddits: They are often echo chambers of doom. They aren't reflecting your specific, unique entrepreneurial background.
Rewrite the Resume: Do not list yourself as "Owner, [Sauce Name]." List yourself as "Founder & Operations Manager." Focus on the growth—did you increase revenue? Did you expand to X number of stores?
The "Bridge Job": If the anxiety is tied to the 6-month gap, find a low-stakes "bridge job" in a professional setting (like an office admin or high-end catering coordinator) just to get your routine back while you hunt for the "real" career move.
You haven't wasted your life; you've just finished Chapter One, and it was a long, grueling chapter. Most 41-year-olds have spent 14 years in a cubicle doing one narrow task. You’ve spent 14 years building a world from scratch.
What is the consensus on computer science after all?
The general notion is that computer science majors are out of job or the field is oversaturated, but other people say it's still good compared to "other majors".
Most people just tell you nonsense like "Those who are skilled and passionate will always get jobs", which is true about any job and irrelevant to the topic. When you have to be highly skilled to get any job in the field, it actually points to the major being in a bad spot.
On the other hand it's a growing market that will probably continue to grow for decades to come, so code will always be in demand.
Another topic is AI, a lot of people say that it can't produce good code etc, but neither can it produce good images. Artists are getting replaced anyway, because companies don't care about quality. I don't see how the same logic can't be applied to coding.
I'm in second year of CS and worried about getting caught up in sunken cost fallacy. Also, I'd appreciate some statistics if someone knows something interesting to check out.
Jobadvisor
The "consensus" on Computer Science in 2026 is complex because the market has split into two different realities: one for experienced seniors (which is still thriving) and one for new grads (which is currently brutal).
Since you are in your second year, you are essentially looking at the "weather forecast" for your graduation year. Here is the raw data and the strategic outlook to help you decide if it's a "sunk cost" or a smart bet.
1. The Reality Check: Statistics
The "bad spot" you mentioned is real, specifically for entry-level roles.
Unemployment Spike: As of 2025, the unemployment rate for recent CS grads hit 6.1%, which is notably higher than the national average for all new college graduates.
The "Hollowing Out" of Junior Roles: A 2025 Stanford study found a 13–16% decline in employment for early-career developers (ages 22-25) since the AI boom began.
The Supply/Demand Mismatch: While the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) still projects 17–25% growth in software roles through 2033, the barrier to entry has shifted. Companies are no longer "hiring to train"; they are hiring for immediate productivity.
2. The AI Factor: "Replacing" vs. "Augmenting"
Your comparison to artists is astute but has a technical twist. Companies are using AI to replace "low-level implementation"—the type of work usually given to juniors (basic debugging, boilerplate code, unit tests).
The "One-Man Team" Effect: AI allows one senior developer to do the work of a senior plus two juniors. This is why junior hiring is down; the "human loop" required to check AI code is currently more efficient when done by an expert, not a student.
Quality Matters More in Code: Unlike an AI-generated image that might have a "wonky finger" but still works for a social media post, AI-generated code with a "wonky logic error" can crash a multi-million dollar system. This is your leverage: sound engineering judgment is the new high-value skill, not just "knowing how to code."
3. Comparison to "Other Majors"
Even with the downturn, CS remains a top-tier major in terms of Return on Investment (ROI).
Salary: Despite the difficulty in finding a job, CS grads still command some of the highest starting salaries, averaging around $76,000–$80,000 for the Class of 2025/2026.
Demand: 67% of employers surveyed by NACE still list CS as a "top degree in demand," tied with Finance. The jobs exist; they just aren't as "easy" to get as they were in 2021.
4. Is it a Sunk Cost?
If you are in your second year, you aren't in a "sunk cost" position yet—you're in a pivot position.
If you hate coding: Leave. The market is too competitive for "half-hearted" devs now.
If you enjoy it: Stay, but change your strategy. The "Generalist Software Dev" who just knows Java is the one struggling. The student who specializes in Cloud Infrastructure, Cybersecurity, or Data Engineering is still highly employable because those fields require human architectural oversight that AI cannot yet mimic.
Summary Table: The 2026 Outlook
| Metric | Status | Why? |
| Starting Salaries | High | Scarcity of vetted talent keeps pay competitive. |
| Job Search Difficulty | Hard | High competition from laid-off Big Tech workers. |
| AI Threat | Moderate | It replaces "syntax-monkeys," not "engineers." |
| Long-term Stability | Strong | Every industry is still becoming a software industry. |
Am I insane for wanting to quit my 130k/year job to go back to school?
A bit of background - I'm 30 this year and have never been to college. The reasons why are an entirely separate post on their own, but the very condensed version is my mother blocked me from attending when I graduated high school in 2014, then I was set to go in 2020 but COVID happened and the schools shut down, then I joined the military and just never got around to it.
I recently finished my military contract and have my full GI bill. But I was also hired as a government contractor right after separating and make about 130k. Despite this, I still really, *really* want to go to college. I always have. I was dying to go as a teenager and that desire has never left. Even if my degree is ultimately "useless" or doesn't help me in the long run, I want to say I went. I want my newborn son to see me graduate.
But that's also the reason I haven't just up and quit. The money is make is setting up my son for a much better life than I ever had. On the other hand, I can live off the housing stipend the GI bill provides if I need to, it'll just be a drastic pay cut.
I am also on borrowed time with my current contract, which is only guaranteed until early 2027. What then? I was very lucky to get this job without a degree and come 2027, I may not be that lucky again. I could also be fired out of the blue. Nothing is guaranteed. But my family also really needs this money.
Help me weigh some pros and cons here, and overall talk some sense into me considering my situation. Thanks in advance.
Jobadvisor
First of all, take a deep breath. You aren't "insane"—you’re experiencing a very common conflict between emotional fulfillment and financial pragmatism.
The desire to go to college isn't just about a piece of paper for you; it’s about reclaiming a milestone that was taken from you in 2014. That carries a lot of weight. However, with a newborn and a six-figure salary, the stakes are objectively high.
Let’s break down the reality of your situation so you can see the path forward clearly.
The Reality Check: Pros & Cons
| The "Stay & Earn" Path | The "Full-Time Student" Path |
| Financial Security: You are currently fast-tracking your son’s college fund and your family's stability. | Future-Proofing: If your contract ends in 2027, having a degree makes you infinitely more marketable for the next $130k job. |
| Risk of Stagnation: If you get laid off in 2027 without a degree, you might struggle to find an equivalent salary. | The "GI Bill" Safety Net: You have a paid-for education and a housing stipend (BAH). It’s a "guaranteed" income, even if lower. |
| Regret: You’ve wanted this for 12 years. Pushing it off again might lead to deep resentment. | The "Pay Cut" Stress: Going from $130k to a BAH stipend is a massive lifestyle shock, especially with a newborn. |
Why 2027 is your "Magic Date"
You mentioned your contract is only guaranteed until early 2027. This is actually your strongest argument for school.
In the contracting world, "lucking into" a $130k role without a degree is impressive, but it’s a precarious position. If the contract ends and the market is lean, recruiters will use the "No Degree" checkbox to filter you out before they even see your military experience.
Peer Insight: You aren't just quitting for a dream; you are potentially quitting to build a floor beneath your feet so you never fall below a certain income level again.
The "Middle Path" (The Sanity Saver)
You don't necessarily have to choose between $130k and $0. Since you are on a stable contract until 2027, have you considered these "hybrid" options?
Knock out the Basics Online: Use Tuition Assistance (if still available) or pay out of pocket for your first year of general education credits (English, Math, History) via a reputable online state school while keeping the $130k job.
WGU or Competency-Based Education: Western Governors University is often used by vets/contractors.
It’s accredited, online, and allows you to "accelerate." You could potentially finish a degree while working, keeping your GI Bill for a Master's later. The "Transition Year": Save aggressively for the next 12 months. Treat your life like you only make $60k and put the rest in high-yield savings. This builds a "bridge" for when you eventually go full-time.
The Emotional Factor
You want your son to see you graduate. He’s a newborn right now—he won't remember a ceremony if you graduate in three years. But he will benefit from the financial foundation you build now. If you can stomach working and schooling simultaneously for a year or two, you get the best of both worlds: the money and the milestone.
You aren't crazy for wanting to go. You’d only be "insane" if you walked away from $130k without a concrete financial bridge for your family.