How To Regulate Your Emotions And Be More Productive In 4 Steps
In the first place.’**Spoiler:** Emotional regulation is the secret sauce between your fancy planner and actually getting shit done. Color-coded calendars? Cute. But if your feelings are running the show, good luck sticking to any of it.
Productivity isn’t a spreadsheet. It’s messy, emotional, and human. The real reason you can’t focus, finish tasks, or unplug after work isn’t “lack of discipline.” It’s your nervous system throwing a tantrum.
What Emotional Regulation Actually Is
It’s your brain’s ability to *notice* a feeling, *understand* it, and *choose* what to do next—instead of flipping out, freezing, or doom-scrolling.
It’s the pause between a shitty email and your reply. The calm after a brutal review. The shift from “I’m spiraling” to “Okay, what now?”
> *“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose.”* – Viktor Frankl
Being regulated ≠ being a robot. It means your brain’s CEO (the prefrontal cortex) stays online instead of your toddler (the amygdala) driving the car. That’s when you think clearly, create, and actually *perform*.
When you’re *dysregulated*? You avoid overwork or overcontrol. Hello, procrastination, multitasking, and perfectionism.
Why You’re Probably Not Regulated
You might be stuck in survival mode without realizing it. Not your fault—your body’s just doing what it learned.
1. **Childhood Wiring**
Grew up where emotions were “too much”? Crying = bad, anger = danger, love = conditional? You learned to stuff feelings. Now at work, you people-please, perfect, or panic at feedback. Your nervous system’s still 8 years old.
2. **Trauma or Chronic Stress**
Big T or little t—your body *remembers*. As Bessel van der Kolk says, *“The body keeps the score.”* A tense meeting can feel like a threat. A deadline can trigger a shutdown. It’s not “in your head.” It’s in your *nervous system*.
3. **ADHD & Emotional Whiplash**
Feelings hit like a freight train. 0 to 100 in seconds. One interruption = rage. One setback = “I’m trash.” Brakes? What brakes?
4. **Burnout & Digital Overload**
Notifications, multitasking, no rest = low-grade fight-or-flight 24/7. Your system’s fried. Of course, you can’t focus.
> **Note:** For ADHD or Complex PTSD, this isn’t just “mindset.” It’s neurological. You’re not lazy. You’re wired differently. Change takes *intentional* rewiring.
How Dysregulation Sneaks Into Work
| Behavior | What It Really Is |
|---------|------------------|
| **Procrastination** | Avoiding *feelings*, not the task. Fear of failure? Boredom? Shame? Your brain picks Netflix over discomfort. |
| **Multitasking** | Emotional escape. Jumping tasks feels “productive” but dodges the tension of deep focus. |
| **Perfectionism** | Control to soothe anxiety. Rewriting emails 10x? You’re not detail-oriented—you’re scared of being “not enough.” |
The Good News: You Can Rewire This
Your nervous system is *plastic*. You can go from reactive to responsive. From survival to flow.
The ABCD of Self-Talk (Your Emotional Timebox)
When your brain’s screaming “I CAN’T,” hit pause and run this loop:
1. **A – Awareness**
*What am I telling myself?* “I’ll never finish,” “They hate me,” “This is too hard”?
2. **B – Breath**
One slow breath. Body first. Signals safety to your brain.
3. **C – Challenge with Compassion**
*Is this 100% true? What else could be true?* Be curious, not cruel.
4. **D – Define an Action**
One tiny next step. *Open the doc. Write one sentence. Send the email.* Action kills rumination.
> Do this 100 times? It becomes automatic. You’ll pause, breathe, and *choose*—not react.
When You Regulate Emotions, Everything Clicks
- Procrastination fades (fear stops driving).
- Multitasking dies (focus feels safe).
- Perfectionism loosens (you trust yourself).
Your planner finally works. You enter flow. You finish. You rest.
**✨ This week’s challenge:**
Next time you’re triggered—*pause*. One deep breath. One intentional move.
You’ve got the space. Now use it.
Coming soon: how to regulate during perfectionist spirals, procrastination black holes, and tense team calls.*