Recruiting and Hiring



Boss asked why I called out sick. I didn't answer.

Got a text from my manager asking what was wrong with me, saying I "need to provide details" about my sick day. Like, okay buddy, that's not how this works.

I ignored it. Came back the next day and he asked again in person, acting like I owed him a medical explanation.

I just said "I was sick" and walked away. He got pissed but honestly what's he gonna do? I used my time off. That's the whole point of having it.

Now he's being weird about approving my days off but idgaf. If he wants to play games we can play games.

Jobadvisor

It makes total sense that you’re frustrated — you used your sick time, you told them you were sick, and that should be the end of it. Most places can’t require you to disclose private medical info beyond “I was ill and unable to work,” and your instinct not to get pulled into oversharing is reasonable.

That said, here are a few things to keep in mind so you stay protected while not feeding the drama your manager seems to be trying to create:

✅ You’re not obligated to give medical details

In many places (U.S. included), employers can ask for a general reason (“ill,” “doctor’s appointment,” etc.) but they cannot require you to give specifics about a diagnosis, symptoms, or private medical conditions unless you’re out for an extended period or it falls under certain leave laws. “I was sick” is enough.

✅ Keep it boring and consistent

Managers who try to push boundaries often back off when you refuse to take the bait.
A simple:

“I was ill and used my sick leave. Is there anything else you need from me?”
…is clear, professional, and gives them nowhere to go.

✅ Don’t escalate the power games

You don’t have to play games back — that’s how these situations turn toxic fast. Just keep things neutral, document interactions if they seem retaliatory, and don’t match his energy.

✅ If he starts delaying PTO approvals

That can cross into retaliation depending on your workplace policies. Keep screenshots/emails. If it continues or affects your ability to take time off, you can escalate to HR by saying something like:

“I’ve noticed delays in PTO approval following a sick day where I declined to share medical details. I want to make sure I’m following policy and that my leave requests are handled fairly.”

No accusation, just a factual record.

You can’t control his attitude — but you can control the paper trail

As long as your behavior stays reasonable and professional, his irritation becomes his problem. Managers who expect medical confessions for a routine sick day often get themselves in trouble if they keep pushing it.


23F, working in tech and feel lost


I finished my undergrad in CS and I’ve been working for in tech for the last couple of years but I don’t really like it. My current job is okay and it pays the bills but it’s nothing crazy. I think going into tech I wasn’t aware that you have to keep learning all the time in order to keep up with new tools and developments in the field. After pushing hard to get my degree I don’t have the motivation to keep learning things. Not only that but I find all the daily cerebral work very tiring and sometimes even during work I dread having to use my brain. I feel like I don’t belong in this field but I’m not good at anything else. Any advice in how to deal with this?


Jobadvisor

It’s completely normal to feel this way, especially a couple of years into your first real career. What you’re describing is more common in tech than people admit — the constant learning, cognitive fatigue, and pressure to “keep up” can wear anyone down, even people who are good at it.

Here are some angles to help you sort out what’s actually going on and what options you really have:

⭐ First: You’re not “not good at anything else.”

You’re 23. You’ve barely begun to explore what you’re capable of.
Having a CS degree means you already proved you can learn hard things. That doesn’t mean you need to want to keep learning in the same way forever.

You’re not stuck — you’re just early in the process of figuring out what fits you.

⭐ Are you burned out, or is tech genuinely not your field?

These two feel the same, but the solutions differ.

Signs it might be burnout:

  • You used to enjoy some parts of tech but now feel numb/exhausted.

  • You dread using your brain in general, not just for coding.

  • You feel tired even when work is simple.

  • Motivation feels flat, not just for work but for learning anything.

Burnout makes people mistake temporary exhaustion for a permanent mismatch.
If this resonates, the goal isn’t “find a new field” immediately — it’s “recover enough to think clearly.”

Signs tech itself might not be a fit:

  • You never enjoyed programming or problem-solving.

  • You feel zero interest or curiosity about anything in tech.

  • The work feels fundamentally draining rather than challenging.

  • Even imagining lighter tech roles doesn’t appeal to you.

If this fits better, then exploring adjacent or alternative paths is absolutely reasonable.

⭐ Tech doesn’t just mean coding heavy or constantly learning new frameworks

There are many roles in tech that require far less constant learning, far less intense cognitive strain, and more people-oriented or structure-oriented work.

You might be better suited to roles such as:

Less-technical tech roles

  • Technical writer

  • QA / manual testing

  • Project coordinator / project manager

  • Scrum master

  • Customer success

  • Product support

  • Technical recruiter

  • Business analyst

  • UX research (not UX design, unless you like design)

These still use your background but don’t require nonstop upskilling.

Roles that use logic but not rapid change

  • Data quality / data operations

  • Compliance / governance

  • IT support

  • Documentation management

  • Change management

You don’t need to abandon the entire tech world — you can just move into a corner of it that isn’t constantly shifting.

⭐ What you can do right now without making big decisions

1. Audit what specifically drains you.

Is it coding? Pressure? Deadlines? Lack of social interaction? Uncertainty?
This helps you identify better-suited roles.

2. Try learning small, low-pressure things.

If you’re burned out, forcing intense learning is counterproductive.
Try tiny, low-stakes exploration (like a 30-minute casual YouTube tutorial) just to see what sparks your interest again.

3. Talk to people in adjacent roles.

A 15-minute chat with someone in product, support, QA, or writing can open your eyes to jobs you didn’t know existed.

4. Give yourself permission not to have everything figured out at 23.

A career is a long arc. It’s common to pivot at 25, 30, 35, etc.

⭐ You’re not lost — you’re in the part of your career where you recalibrate

Most people have a moment in their early- or mid-20s where their first career choice doesn’t match how they actually want their life to feel. That’s not failure — it’s growth.

You don’t have to force yourself to be a certain type of “tech person.”
There are roles that:

  • use your education

  • don’t demand constant new tool learning

  • aren’t high-cognitive-load every day

  • still pay well