Many bosses do 1-on-1 meetings completely wrong, management expert says—how to make them ‘genuine and meaningful.’
The Meeting That Can Make (or Break) Your Career — And Why Most People Get It Wrong
It’s not the annual review. It’s not the team stand-up.
It’s the humble one-on-one with your manager — and according to meeting science expert Steven Rogelberg, it’s the single most powerful tool a leader has to boost engagement, alignment, and retention.
Yet most managers are using it completely backward.
“The biggest mistake,” says Rogelberg, author of *Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings* and Chancellor’s Professor at UNC Charlotte, “is treating the one-on-one as a status update for the manager. That’s not what it’s for.”
When managers turn these meetings into “How’s my project doing?” check-ins, employees feel monitored, not supported. The magic happens when you flip the script: the meeting becomes time *dedicated to the employee’s agenda, challenges, growth, and well-being.*
How to Do One-on-Ones Right
1. Make it employee-led
The agenda should come from the direct report (or co-created). A simple prompt like “What’s on your mind?” or “What do you want to use this time for?” puts the employee in the driver’s seat.
2. Keep it lightweight and flexible
No 10-page slide deck required. A couple of bullet points from the employee is plenty.
3. Meet weekly (yes, really)
Rogelberg’s research shows weekly one-on-ones deliver the biggest gains in engagement and performance. Biweekly is okay. Monthly or “whenever we get around to it” barely moves the needle.
4. Never cancel (or treat cancellation like a big deal)
Skipping or constantly rescheduling sends a loud message: “You’re not a priority.” If time is tight, shorten the meeting — 15–20 minutes of genuine attention beats a postponed 30-minute slot every time.
5. Show up fully
Close the laptop. Silence the phone. Listen like it’s the most important conversation of your week — because for your employee, it probably is.
### The Payoff
Done well, these meetings:
- Build trust and psychological safety
- Surface obstacles early (before they become fires)
- Reduce random Slack pings and hallway interruptions
- Make people feel genuinely seen and valued
- Dramatically lower the odds they’ll quietly start job hunting
As Rogelberg puts it: “There’s something incredibly powerful about truly seeing your people.”
So whether you’re the manager or the direct report, take ownership. Ask for the time. Protect the time. Use the time for the person across the table (or Zoom), not just the projects.
Because the best one-on-ones aren’t about work at all.
They’re about the person doing the work.