Your body language is talking.
And it might be saying things you don't want it to: ↓
I saw this up close during a workshop I ran for a team a few years back.
One of their managers was sharp. Clearly knew her stuff. But every time a senior exec spoke, she leaned back, crossed her arms, and dropped her eye contact to the table.
Afterwards, two people independently told me they'd found her "hard to read" and "a bit disengaged."
She had no idea she was doing any of it.
And she wasn't unusual.
Most people are doing at least one of these without realising it. Here's what I've seen work:
1. Sitting in the back row
Seat choice is a first impression. Move up.
↳ Sit in the front third of any room
↳ Proximity signals interest and confidence
↳ You get noticed before you even speak
2. Arms crossed in meetings
You feel defensive. Others see defensive.
↳ Rest your hands on the table, open and visible
↳ Lean in slightly to show engagement
↳ Your posture speaks before you do
3. Checking your phone mid-conversation
Divided attention reads as unreliable.
↳ Put it face down or out of sight
↳ Make full eye contact instead
↳ Being present is a competitive advantage
4. Joining video calls late
Virtual first impressions count just as much.
↳ Join 60 seconds early and be ready
↳ Camera on, background clean
↳ Punctuality signals respect for others
5. Flat, muted energy when you respond
Monotone tone doesn't read as leadership.
↳ Vary your pace and pitch deliberately
↳ Match the room's energy, then lift it
↳ Record yourself. You'll hear what others do
6. Slow email responses
Response time signals what you prioritise.
↳ Acknowledge within 24 hours
↳ A short reply beats a delayed perfect one
↳ Speed signals reliability
7. Notebook closed in every meeting
Visible learning signals visible growth.
↳ Write something down, even if obvious
↳ It shows you take the talk seriously
↳ People remember who was paying attention
8. Avoiding eye contact
Confidence lives in your eyes.
↳ Hold eye contact for 3 to 5 seconds
↳ Scan the room when speaking to a group
↳ Practise in low-stakes conversations first
9. Being first to bolt after the meeting
Real conversations happen in the last 5 mins.
↳ Stay back, even briefly
↳ Ask one follow-up or share a quick thought
↳ Relationships are built in the margins
None of these is huge. But they stack up fast.
Senior people read rooms. They notice who's present, who's engaged, and who's already halfway out the door.
Which one of these have you caught yourself doing? Leave a comment.
And it might be saying things you don't want it to: ↓
I saw this up close during a workshop I ran for a team a few years back.
One of their managers was sharp. Clearly knew her stuff. But every time a senior exec spoke, she leaned back, crossed her arms, and dropped her eye contact to the table.
Afterwards, two people independently told me they'd found her "hard to read" and "a bit disengaged."
She had no idea she was doing any of it.
And she wasn't unusual.
Most people are doing at least one of these without realising it. Here's what I've seen work:
1. Sitting in the back row
Seat choice is a first impression. Move up.
↳ Sit in the front third of any room
↳ Proximity signals interest and confidence
↳ You get noticed before you even speak
2. Arms crossed in meetings
You feel defensive. Others see defensive.
↳ Rest your hands on the table, open and visible
↳ Lean in slightly to show engagement
↳ Your posture speaks before you do
3. Checking your phone mid-conversation
Divided attention reads as unreliable.
↳ Put it face down or out of sight
↳ Make full eye contact instead
↳ Being present is a competitive advantage
4. Joining video calls late
Virtual first impressions count just as much.
↳ Join 60 seconds early and be ready
↳ Camera on, background clean
↳ Punctuality signals respect for others
5. Flat, muted energy when you respond
Monotone tone doesn't read as leadership.
↳ Vary your pace and pitch deliberately
↳ Match the room's energy, then lift it
↳ Record yourself. You'll hear what others do
6. Slow email responses
Response time signals what you prioritise.
↳ Acknowledge within 24 hours
↳ A short reply beats a delayed perfect one
↳ Speed signals reliability
7. Notebook closed in every meeting
Visible learning signals visible growth.
↳ Write something down, even if obvious
↳ It shows you take the talk seriously
↳ People remember who was paying attention
8. Avoiding eye contact
Confidence lives in your eyes.
↳ Hold eye contact for 3 to 5 seconds
↳ Scan the room when speaking to a group
↳ Practise in low-stakes conversations first
9. Being first to bolt after the meeting
Real conversations happen in the last 5 mins.
↳ Stay back, even briefly
↳ Ask one follow-up or share a quick thought
↳ Relationships are built in the margins
None of these is huge. But they stack up fast.
Senior people read rooms. They notice who's present, who's engaged, and who's already halfway out the door.
Which one of these have you caught yourself doing? Leave a comment.